Results for August 2005

You wake up and there is a weird bubble thing on one of your fingers.
You're not sure how it got there but it feels weird.
How do you determine if this is something an alien did while you were alseep?

Asking my husband isn't an option since he can sleep through anything, including alien invasion. I guess I would just wait until the bubble pops and see if a three-eyed purple snail comes out.- PRchick

Firstly I would inspect my rectum, poke around in there for a probe, this is purely for a probe and for no other reason than to attempt to locate a probe, the reasoning behind this is because I would be looking for a probe, and for no other reason than to see if the fuckers probed me. If I failed to locate a probe in my shit hole I would look for other examples of Alien activity, burn marks from a landing site, crop circles, anal probing, alien footprints stuff like that. If this comes to no avail, I'd cut the horrid thing off and hang my arse even more out of the bed than usual that night.- George

Firstly, I would stand up and look in a mirror to check that there isn't a satellite coming out of my arse. Once that is done, I'd sniff the bubble to see if it smells of White Lightning or cider. If it smelt strongly of one or both of the two drinks, I'd blame it upon a horrible night out in Bognor Regis or someplace else. Failing that, I'll ignore it until a satellite comes out of my arse.- Kedski

First think i would do is to pour syrup and hot sauce on it. A crazy guy in an alley once told me they were coming from abouve and said only syrup and hot sauce can stop them.- Sick Wills

I'd probe it with my special alien prober. I'd probe it's ass good!- Junkie Deluxe

Aliens? Ahhhh, no. A massive blister, more like it. It could be from playing drums too much, completely rocking out...perhaps I burned myself while cooking last night but didn't feel anything or remember because I was floor licking drunk. The most likely answer is Herbert is to blame....that little holy terror of a sock monkey probably sat there rubbing his dirty little tail on me all night while I slept. And rumor has it he's been pissing in my plants, I'm gonna beat the stuffing out of that bastard sock monkey !!!! - Poptart

"Wink, I'll take bizarre finger ailments for $200" "I'm going to guess - was it something an alient did while I was asleep?"- Qbryzan

This is based off a true story! My two front teeth had gone missing and they had been replaced with asparagus tips,I had a pounding headache and I looked like yoda on acid. All I could taste was nothing but shit so then i thought I aint dreaming I really have been abducted by ALIENS had a thumb wrestle with E.T and lost! either that or I could possibly have just been drunk as a cunt fell asleep with a lit cigarette woke up and I had a hand like its been paid to be an extra in star wars and I had a kebab stuck to my face! is this alien activity the truth is out there you decide.- Rotis

Get in a spaceship...ask em if they did it. If they try to vaporize me,I'll kick there ass with karate, and beat it out of them!!!- Khaki

Demand conversation with the strange bubble thing and poke it with some pointy soap until it replies. Then get my imaginary friend Todd to interrogate it.- wiggleworm

i poke at it. i try to pop it and if it trys to bite me then ill know it was aliens- l2o0aLo0

You simply put in under the scanner underneath the roofing shingle that’s loose and wait for it to rain and then after doing some math in the nude in your kitchen... you go up after the rain... after you have fully eaten the French toast... then take a cat nap near the scanner under the shingle... just to build suspense, then check if it proves positive or not... + or - symbol... quite easy 1-2-3 step... except you urinate on it after the results have been made... So, if alien residue really does reside in the strange bubble thing... I'd freak the fuck out, and jump off the roof committing suicide as planned... justifying my oddly situated alien scanner...- Eaten pudd

Is there anyone who films you while you sleep? If so, it's easy. They would almost certainly be obsessed with you (hence the filming of your sleeping), so just trade a copy of the tape for a few favours (yes, there IS a "u" in that word, not "favor"). If not, simply devise a philosophical pretext and ask some random "smart" person. You may not find out for certain, but the answer should be entertaining enough.- Sven the Masseur

I'd probably think, "STD!" Then immediately after I'd think, "Wait, don't you have to, er, do something in order to get one 'o those." After staring at the odd bubble thing for a few more seconds, I'd say, "Oh no, it's cancer!!" I've been paranoid about every odd thing I may discover on ye olde body. I mean, if the bubble was really an alien's doing, I'd probably have no problem accepting that. In fact, I'd probably be relieved.- McDiablo

Like, the bubble on my finger has pretty much subsided, but the one on my ass, the two on my legs, two under the stomach, and one in the armpit really suck. Whether or not the aliens did it or not are for everyone else but me to find out and for me not to know or not or something. i'm serious.- freak ninja

Firstly I'd look around my room to see if there is anywhere it came from in my room. Then I would check all orifices within reach. Maybe I would ask the bubble. Can it speak? If it IS alien, it might be able to. Hmm. I'll get back to you.- Almost deleted

Well, you know what I always say, "If it taste like a Crunch Berry, then it must be aliens."- j0eg0d

I'd take asprin and let it go away on it's own.- King Jimothy

Well aliens are cool guess because they dont like alot of attention and i dont like givibg attention soo most likey they came too chill and we smoke a blunt but being soo fucked up on space coke and Space weed i coulnt remeber cause my brain can't comprehend the high and they all burnt me with while i passed out im guessing.hmmm- Animalfight

I Would Try And Remember What I Had Dreamt About, OR Go To the Doctors, Or Go For Hypnosis.- x-amy-f-x

Almost certainly it was. I would flamethrower the basement to destroy any eggs, just to be on the safe side.- TomM

Michael Jackson fuckedm y ass.-toope

I'd cut my finger off and send it to Doctor Satan so he could tell me if it was aliens. I wouldn't really care either way... I imagine I'd be in too much pain after cutting off my finger.- King Jimothy

ask the doctor- airin

I recall through the hungover, jetlagged fug that I burned myself on the fajita griddle and that I had to rub ice on it for 3 hours before it stopped hurting.- Mzebonga


First check-list: 1. Am I an overweight, middle aged American female? 2. Have I got a life? Second, answers: 1. No. 2. yes. Therefore it is probably a blister.- parenchyma

Well i would poke it first to see what kind of weird it is, i would then proced to poke it with a sharp implament hopeing that by doing this it doesn't blow up and kill me, i would then stick it in the fridge to see if it is reactive to the cold then repeat with either the oven or the microwave, after testing these things i would take a crap to see if my bum was sore, if it was then i know i had defietly been taken upon by an alien... if it didnt do anything that was cool like blow up or shoot green pulsing things then i would simply cut it of and hope it wasnt cancer.- Jackal-TRS

you lick it- Sexy Beast

SCREAM- maria12345

What's with you guys and aliens? Well...anyway. Well I look around for a phone number cuz if an alien kidnapped me to put a bubble on my finger he probably left a number somewhere for me to call when I woke up and freaked out, why did he leave a number? Because aliens are considerate!!!!! So HA. - PyroPrincezz

I smell it- Sparkles

lick it- bex and jo

I would just pop it & find out.- Veia

Sniff it- Trajjik

nooooooooooooooooooooooo!- jsb01

I poke it with a needle and suck out the juicey stuff. If I die, its poisen from aliens. If I transform into a hairy dog, I'll fuck another dog. If Im okay, then its just a blister.- krazie

yes that is what i would think- krissy_list

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