What is the strangest thing you've ever stolen or wanted to steal?

I saw on a torture website once how to torture people with strange every day house hold items such as bottle caps etc. I stole lots of things from a general store for that reason. I particularly liked placing the bottle cap underneath someone's eyelid. The movement of their eye alone seemed to do the trick before I crushed the bridge of their nose with a pair of pliers.- M. Mort

A kitty...kiiiiittttyyyyyy!!!!!- InstantOatmeal

To the best of my knowledge, I've never stolen anything. I don't think I could cope with the additional negative self-image of being a thief. But I do want to steal a 747... But I don't know how to fly it..- Mzebonga.

EVERYTHING. they tell me i'm a bit of a clepto...NAR...well...every once in a while i get a mad compultion to travel to the sewers of new york and steal the minds of the rats that dwell there..hey...i've got a pretty kickass doorstop collection...they make great weapons, you know..i also have a thing for stealing janitorial objects..like brooms and trash cans and cleaning supplies...I'LL STEAL YOUR PENIS, STUPID MUNCHKIN, I'LL STEAL IT RIGHT OFF YOUR WRINKLED, BLOATED HALF-ROTTED SLIME OF A TORSO, YES I WILL... anyway...i like fire.- Morshada

Dentures. This crazy old lady was taken away by the stae, and my friend and i snuck into the house and found 8 bottles of various alcohols, some scary dolls, and an upper denture. i hada plan for it once, but i can't remember. the next week, they totally bulldozed the whole house without taking or moving anything. - eva psychotic

um a condom- socky

that gooey stuff that you push into the little plastic container and it makes a farting sound.. >.<- SG*

Baking soda- fuckbuddy


Me? Steal?! NEVER! Just kidding...I steal all the time. In fact, the time I stole was when I was eight and I saw these books on Kama Sutra in a store window and I thought they were realy cool, so I just snuck them in my jacket and took them home with me. Then, when I was older, like a preteen, my dad wouldn't let me wear makeup, so I used to steal it all the time from Sephora. And then before class started, I would go to the bathroom and put my makeup on. But what was inconvienient about that was that I had to wash it off before I went home. And now, I steal all the time, to be honest. I love jewelery, expensive makeup, underwear, and anything that catches my eye. However, I am too poor to buy anything so I have to resort to shoplifting. (Well, as we all know, I don't have to--I am just a very, very bad person who doesn't like to work and make money like everyone else) So, back to the weirdest thing I have ever stolen. Well, this was like three weeks ago. I was in SoHo, and I saw this new shop that I wanted to check out. It was also my friend's birthday soon, so I had to see what I could get her. And inside on display were a bunch of dildos that look like action figures. They had everything from Kiss to P Diddy to Johnny Knoxville, and there was one that looked like Barney the Purple Dinosoar and I had to get it. Me and my friend both loved barnie as little tykes, and I thought it would be hilarious. So I stole it. And that's it.- Ka Ka Chawinga

a moldy cunt- moldy cunt

When I was in pre-school, I stole a block from the classroom, and felt so horrible about it, I threw it out in the woods, so I'd stop worrying about it- Hufflebunny

The strangest thing I have ever wanted to steal is certain products. WHy? Because dang it when you are a girl and that time of the month comes it costs an arm and a leg. I wish I was some smarty who could invent something like that so I could make millions off of women as well! GUYS GOT IT LUCKY when it comes to that!~Jeepster

My own ass... I want it on my mantlepiece- Mzebonga

dildo- brad

a box of those good luck dolls, I figured if I can't be born with luck I'd make my own- di maskiller

Just today, Miss Roger's Sweater and I went to a coffee house to watch a local band play. We were sitting by a bread shelf that had laminated price tags that were attached to the shelves with velcro. There was a little pile of price tags beneath the shelves, so I picked on up. It said "Cheese Slab: $5.49". I'm going to tape it to one of my friends' front doors. You have been slabbed!- McDiablo

i ain't saying i have or wanted to,but i have wanted some things so bad ,i had to think about your question.- rayyo77

I've (for a long time now) had a desire to kidnap myself. Obviously there are numerous logistical problems with carrying out such a desire, so I haven't gone through with it. By kidnapping myself, I don't just mean faking my own kidnapping, but actually kidnapping myself.- Sven the Masseur

plastic bottle caps- nullboy

A book about the worlds greatest burglaries.- jesterozzy

Well...I don't have radical stealing tastes..but at this hotel that I stayed at, the cleaning lady stole the lens container tops from mine and my friends lens containers.- ChunkyFlamingo Testicles

Well a couple weeks ago I took a hair off ferretchick's shirt when she wasn't looking so that I could take it to my lab and clone her. Don't ever tell her I told you that, or she'll start demanding answers again. - FartMonkey

I stole a bottle of Raid. Yes I know raid its crazy but hey I seen those lil mother sucka's running around tryna take over my house and I needed to stop them. (Kill the Beast) I should of bought some spanish pointy shoes they do the job. They kill the cockaroaches.A Cookarocha A cookarocha u kno what that means the cockaroaches....We must defeat them, because one day we will be extinct and they will take over. They will rule over the remaining humans making them their slaves.....I know what the future holds I seen this in a vision while watching a RAID commercial....If AIDS dont wipe us out they will.........be afraid be very afraid........look at that even the word afraid has the word raid its a sign we must do something to stop this outbreak from happening.help us a go steal some raid today........ - fairygirl

pen,locker,and paper- Starburst

Guiche Moisturiser. Quick note: the guiche is the spot located between ones genatalia and anus.- RealMo-K

I've wanted to steal someones atm card + pin number.- deeth

i tried to steal my nieghbor's sould, but during the voodoo ritual, i wet myself.- freak ninja

ummm.... strangest thing i've wanted to steal was a box of tampons. not very strange tho. i could make something up but that woudl be lying. lying is bad.- ristixxx

A pen. Pens are messed up.- JWOOSTYLE

Straws from Arby's and some star stickers from the librian at school.- Kandy Melt

One time I stole my ex- boyfriends name tag from McDonalds.- QueenJen

A Miss. Piggy book.- pitty witty

A piece of watermelon from a fruit bar.- eddiot

a car - slavekandy

I always wanted to steal me one of them hover crafts. so I could ..uh...hover.- fishmankurtus

soiled panties- Kelly

I stole pair of lucy liu's underwear when I was working at this hotel she stayed at. Honestly they had shit marks in them. I still smelled them awayway. True story- dudegonewild1

A security camera. It just seemed right. And the backhoe that we never found the key to.. too bad.- eva destruction

a pair of slippers- the plankster

poontang- igor

my cousins verginity.- Billhgates

my friends face- queenjen

My brain back from that jar in the lab.- Some Guy

My ex boyfriends truck to burn it . - kandi melt

my dads used comdom...it was heroin flavored- spanky_da_biznatch

I wanted to steal this wooden flamingo one time. It was green and it just looked lonely but it was kinda big and it wouldnt fit in my pocket.- Monkeeskittles

hot cock dildo- chained

Sock puppets.- Calaba

I wanted to steal my friend Kat's eyebrows once in the middle of performing a play and kind of accidentally announced this out loud. The drama group all stared at me and muttered things about sanity under their breath. But its all okay because i saved the coffee people didnt i my pretties? *strokes cup*- turquoiseraven

i've always wanted to pirate a nice yacht for a five-year joyride - Hollywierdo

um... well, before now i;ve stolen three little chinese men ornaments, yet felt guilty and sent them back... my good-gesture-to-banish-guilt was however thwarted when the victim recieved their ornaments... broken into a thousand pieces by clumsy royal mail people. oh well!- turreima

a person- BadassArchangel

a nvidia geforce fx 5950 (not really strange but alot of money)- nullboy

a real of coton from morrisons, i shoved it down my pants n took it out in the carpark, thought i was gr8. then i tied up a few trees. god i wish i was 6 again.- Tom

Any cat that is out walking around.- Krackhead.

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