: August 2004

When you're dead, if you plan on having a tombstone, what do you want it to read?

Dead?im never going to die!Ive been secretly working on formula that will make me live forvever...and i have just completed it...so Ha!im going to live forever...but it has one side effect,that ive grow three extra toes on one foot, hey well.thats a short price to pay for eternal life!!!!**MWAHAHAHA**- keli_x_james....IM BACK!

Here Lies The Coolest Person To Ever Hang Out With Lou Reed- Char

In memory of Derric Spade Individualy grate - Over his town Terribly killed *hidden message*- Dark-Angel

Basement Apartment for rent. Apply 6 feet under- Hufflebunny

"Here lies Edmund Blackadder... And he's bloody annoyed!" or maybe Spike Milligan's excellent inscription: "I told you I was sick".- Mzebonga

Hello please dont stand on me- Monrapias

she was crazy, she was cool, and she was hornier than any woman who ever lived.- lafemmecinema

I'd quite like it to read the newspapers. I'm not really into romance but I'd like it to read things like !!!!!!joke!!! It should say "MY NAME - Loved dearly, but loved more when dead"- Fredward

"I never liked you anyway"- Nick

"I told you I was ill" - Hayz

Samantha was loved daughter,sister and friend. She was daddy's little girl. She will be truly missed.- saz

My tombstone should read something like, "Free your body and soul, Unfold your powerfull wings, Climb up the highest mountain, Kick your feet in the air. You may now liev forever, Or return to this earth, Unless you feel good where you are. Missed dearly by your friends" or maybe just the first letter of each sentance.-me

Well...I think it would be cool if my tombstone was literate at all...I was thinking Dante's Inferno...That would be cool...- InstantOatmeal

here lies a dead body... a cold hard dead body, now leave me alone- insane1

As far as I'm aware, tombstones cannot read. That's to my knowledge anyway... however, if indeed it is true, then I would prefer it to read the likes of Mr Edgar Allen Poe, or Stephen King... and recently I've held a particular liking to Richard Laymon.. so yeah, anything horror-like. If I was to look at this same question on the other side of my brain, reading it to mean what is to be written on my tombstone, then it'd have to be something like "Mort - Misanthropic child slaughterer... just because he's dead, doesn't mean he can't come after you."- M. Mort

I told you, but you wouldn't listen, well here is the price for your ignorance. wait it was i who paid the price. damn your ignorance.- deadbadger

As I see it, there are two options. Unfortunately, both have already been done, but what the hell. 1) Make it REALLY small writing so that the person reading it has to move in closer to read it, then have have it say "You're standing on my crotch." ~ Ben Elton (I think) 2) "I told you I was ill." ~ the glorious Spike Milligan- Sven the Masseur

your plain of existence sucked any way- wristslashy McGee

"Here lies Hayz, who died from a very painful and very contagious disease, that can be caught by just reading this tombstone." mwahahahahaha!!!- Hayz

RETURNED UNOPENED...(for the virgins out there!!! ha ha ha)- loise

Putas aut putes - If you dig me up I will only be doing one- Vermox

i TOLD you I was ill.- Fish

Martin isn't really dead, he's actually in the Bahamas swimming in the sea.- Lekkerkaas

here lays plankster "STIFF AT LAST"- PLANKSTER

I couldn't be bothered to stay in your world any longer, bastards!- Fleoa

If I'm dead, I'm probably not hungry, and I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be hungry for a Tombstone - eating those will kill you. Maybe pepperoni tho...- ript

I thought the blood leaking from my anus had to stop spouting out sometime...Guess I was wrong huh.- MR. NATE

Something spectacular maybe a full action pact novel writen by me or someone who could actualy make it action pact... maybe even a movie script that will have people rivetted and surrounding my grave sight by the masses (since we know the masses are to dumb to copy and reproduce until a few years fly by once a publisher pops by) Well, anyways I would become mistaken for something important and magnificant, like they were my worshipers constantly grasped by the loss of myyy... me. I'd become something then so i can sit around and do this and eat bags of frozen grapes and cabbage and make no apparent exsistence at all.I know...I know novels got a lotta words and gravestones always got cheap little over done sympathetic mush which ya know means this person didnt do anything interesting cept fuck (or try too) and cling to its mommy...cuz it fits and its cheaper, so i hear. Each letter is a thousnad bucks or something... But why not just make it yourself? I think it would be a wonderful arts and craft project, plus wouldnt it spice up a evening stroll through the valley of the dead? Yeah it should be in the kidergarten curriculum.. hah... "Dad(backwards D) poot me oot and och doggy ME!" hahaha, I so need that, oh and they would have to predict there deaths also... so since all kids think 25 is like Freaking OOOLd (and they say it like that too) it would be a great population minimize inducer, oh and there will be no going back, just like my grades have been paved, our deaths should be too. i think I will get on that but by the time im done with it I would have probably forgot a place for my name or any sort of memorial... nah ill just get another stone.. okay all is fixed..perfect,this tombstone is gonna so make all the other tombstones like sooo jelous.*wanders off to find rocks and sharp objects*...-GargleSwallow-

I never die. I am immortal.- Kali

Six feet below this tombstone lies Johnny Poptart, he is now DEAD! 1968 - 2071- Poptart

a book of it's choice - rayyo77

"I was here? Really? No fucking clue.. I think, therefore I am, but my way of thinking was "different", that's what everybody said. Well, now I'm dead.. woooooow! Who the FUCK cares? Me? Definitely not!.. Why the fuck didn't you bastards throw me into the Atlantic as I wished? FUCK YOU ALL!!"- phoenix

Here lies the grave of the young, handsom Michael Allport. Forever loved and forever missed.- Mike

"Here lies Jonathan. Poor, poor Jonathan. If he'd only knew better, he probably wouldn't have stuck that fork in the power socket. If he'd only read the instruction booklet for the blender in the kitchen. If he'd only... Ah, who the hell am I kidding. The dude's a friggin' moron."- L0S3R

just leave it blank, and let anybody write on there whatever they want.- harry simeon

placed here under the soils of the humble apple tree is nelly, nelly lived a horrible life only dreaming of pain and suffering. if only she hadnt died a peaceful death maybe we could have stuck a cork up her nose and fry her in a huge barbecue! nelly if u ever read this i hope that as u were buried alive u only thought of pain suffering and DEATH!- nelly welly noggin

::sniff::......i can smell your brains...- redhotchilipeppers = cocks in socks

he lived- slim jonn

here is the isane-but-but-still-lovable-even-though-she-tried-to-take-over-the-town-with-a-mob-of-angry-gnomes-that-want-to-make-the-humans-stand-in-the-yard-with-a-fishin-pole-all-day Jordan- memyselfandi

A girl cursed with the inability to see her beauty.- marcopolo

I would like it to read books and magazines.- CJ

All your Base are belong to us- Akira

Loved and missed wife and mother.- lauren

here lies susan no i think her name was carol..or was it fred? oh well the person in the tonb is dead- wonka donka

Well, firt of all, it can have all of my Harry Potter books, and then it can read the lord of the rings, and maybe all of the brian jacques books......and whatever else it wants to read. And then it can have my date of birth and death and name etched into it.- bluemonkeyfearer

I once was here but now I'm gone. I left my name to carry on... For those who knew me well, For those who didn't... YOU CAN ROT IN HELL!- sillysally

Dead. But it's ok, she probably didn't like you anyway.- Trepas

i'd like it to read nothing because i'd rather have my body ground up and drank by my enemies- spunkmonkeyspanker

"This is a tombstone"- Kali

Here Lies Miss ARJ She died. Thank the Lord she's gone now.- Person Person

I'm Hard. -cack-n-bulls-

HERE LIES FARTMONKEY 1988 - 2015 Urinating...$1.50 Defecating..$2.25 Dancing.....$4.99/min. OPEN 24 HRS. The lines will be around the block. - FartMonkey

im on a diet- roxy

Nicole _____ 1988-???? Loving mother, wife, etc... remember you will die- NixBix

I want it to have a picture of a fire hydrant etched onto it, and be placed in a dog run.- Ka Ka Chawinga

You're Next- Phaedrus

I could try the thing with the cheesy poetry acronym but just to make it easy F U C K Y O U- Ninja

antidisastablishmentterrianism- Rachyda

"To all potential necrophiliacs: I'm a cuddler."- Jeffrey

I think it'd be cool to have a Slurpee cup shaped tombstone. Wouldnt' that be just awesome? It could say, "Drinking infinite Slurpees in Heaven and/or Hell." But, of course, my family is a bunch of cheap asses so my body will probably be burned to ashes, placed in a Slurpee cup and tossed into a dumpster.- McDiablo

Please leave money. not tears or death threats :D - Mac

To all who loved me, thanks, but as for the rest of you...i plan on haunting you till you go crazy! hahaha- little_red_devil

Here lies Cap'n Ronald DeLorossian.....GET OFF MY FUCKING HEAD!- unfor2n8

Here lies the first man to ever conquer Peru during a drunken blackout.- ArchbishopShaggy

"I'm dead. It made the voices stop."- Mzebonga

Here lies T, she came, she partied, but she mostly came- monkeeskittles

She was the Orgy Goddess.. what else am I supposed to say?- SG*

____ is lying here. He'd rather he wasn't- Me

...they can read?- j0eg0d

kiss my ass you big hairy toad- george the monkey

WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT? - Mona (cross dresser exceptional')

Caution: Only Buried 6 inches deep by request.- I Am Jason Farkas

"Here lieth the body of the mighty and icthyoid Fish (what's a tautology? I can't be sure for certain), slowly putrefying six feet under your feet. The worms are slowly munching their way through his intestinal organs and gorging themselves on the rotting goo that was once his face but is now wobblingly gelatinous and an interesting shade of green. Mould has firmly established itself in his lower colon and the soggy, squashed poached egg-like structures that were so recently his eyes have become a breeding ground for 6,000 different strains of bacteria . . . ." OR "You're standing on my balls"- Fish

here lies a basterd please piss here!- nuts

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