Crunchy or smooth peanut butter : what's best and why?

Smooth! I thought we all knew that crunchy peanut butter was the vehicle of an interplanetary conspiracy to implant us all with those little seeds. That's what those are. Peanuts? Pah. They're brain-muncher seeds, which will hatch in your colon and eat your brain. Run! Save yourself! The peanut butter apocalypse is nigh!- Indomitus

Crunchy.. cuz smooth you just get the stickyness not the cruchyness.. ya that is it!- ~Jeepster

smooth, coz it is!!- max nix

Crunchy. It's like chewing hundreds of bugs all at once. And it's not all grim and gacking. Smooth peanut butter leaves me feeling like someone has just carpeted the inside of my mouth.- Mzebonga

uh.. Rough! oh damn, not an option. um..Cheese?... oh not an option eithar... Why are my mice constructing an canon for??-lilcakey, oh fuck this isnt the Q&A. What was that question?..crunc..butte..best.. why?.. oh ok i c, soft because the peanuts are tastful and thats the gooooood texture. mmm.. peanut butter.. oh man im getting a hard one. Oh wait, i dont have an penis... Ah!whats that fuzzy patch""? a hole????... - diZsaHpoEinted

crunchy!!! Oh joy!! Crunchy is better than smooth because it is. But really, would you rather asphyxiate because the smooth peanut butter stuck to the roof of your mouth, or use the chunks of peanut to cut yourself free in time? True story.- eva psychotic

Crunchy-it's snap/crackle/pop delicious- Angelfish

crunchy, because it reminds me of vietnam were we had to eat our own excrement.- jungandaloo

Crunchy!!! cuz, It just is. If you have to argue with me, just go die.- Moron

Smooth, because being smooth is-CRUNCHY, go crunchy, it's your birthday. Oh who the hell knows................ .PURPLE....................- CrazyPurple

crunchy because it tasts better- spank the sock monkey

crunchy its nice- funkless

smooth.. because it's not crunchy?- lalita

In my very humble opinion, smooth peanut butter tastes like three week old moldy diarrhea. Also it's relentlessly sticky and gets caught in your teeth, on the roof of your mouth, under your tongue, and if you're not careful, a huge glob will clog up your throat and kill you. It's more like eating a mutant alien life form then peanut butter. However, eating crunchy peanut butter is so much better, because you actually feel like you're eating something made from peanuts, and that crunchy sound is somehow satisfying. It just tastes better, probably because it doesn't have that bland sewage taste.- Ka Ka Chawinga

Neither i hate both. Makes my skin crawl dude. who eats that bull shit anyhows?- Brent

smoothly crunchy, with more smoothness than crunchiness....that would be the perfect peanut butter. Why you ask, well because that is the only formula that will keep the aleins from overtaking the universe...you do want to live don't you- shwee

crunchy,because i like it crunchy. - weirdoego

smooth! i got killed once eating crunchy peanut butter with my shrooms...... or was that the... shrooms... no im pretty sure it was the crunchy peant butter, you just dont know what is CRUNCHY. Im fine now, i got revived thanks to a man in a white coat.- BsIt

Crunchy. Why? Because who doesn't like little chunkies in their peanut butter...well....um...maybe not just ANY chunkies.....wait, how can we be sure that the chunkies in peanut butter are really peanuts??? What if it's something else???? I am changing my answer. Smooth because that way you know that there are no unidentifiable chunkies in your peanut butter.- bluemonkeyfearer

Smooth. It just feels better when you put it in your pants, or your toenail case.- I like eggs.

Crunchy - provides needed friction for my evil experiments with sock monkeys, where I sexually torture them into giving me all the digits of the mathematical equation of pi, which will continue for all eternity.... mwhahahahaha... And acts as a good exfoliant for rough skin- Evil Muffin

Smooth... because it's more fun to play with- SG*


I don't really like peanut butter to be honest, but for the purpose of this question, I do. Crunchy sounds much nicer - I think it depend of what you are like as a person. I think that smooth is for people that like to stroke kittens and crunchy is for those who like to kill kittens.- M. Mort

crunchy. peanuts are crunchy, peanut butter should be crunchy.- candy

Crunchy! because it is crunchy!- TexasJen!

Smooth is best because crunchy reminds me of peanuty poo which would really hurt my bum.- spanky_monkey

I'm going to have to say smooth...it just has a better feel in my mouth when I'm munching on it...plus when it gets suck to the roof of your mouth it's not as uncommfitable as crunchy- RealMo-K

crunchy cos it makeur mouth not too dry like - jammin salmon

crunchy cause it has nuts- kris

crunchy:----peanut=crunchy...peanut butter=butter with peanuts....smooth peanut butter=a thought with no substance,,,,,a fantasy food if you will.- rayyo77

Smooth!!! You fools! Don't you know that the stuff they put in crunchy peanut butter is PEOPLE???? I mean, I wouldn't mind so much if they tasted better, but EWWW!!!- Woogie smeep squiffle

green ones! green green green peanut butter! Cuz it's good!- Greggie-Fellie

Crunchy because the name sounds more evil- DmD

crunchy.................duhhhhhhhhhhh its got peanuts in it- EPJuggalo

I always choose the smooth peanut butter because when it gets stuck in your throat it won't cut you. And you may think that the crunchy is better but it's not; it could be actual poo with corn.- Rambo

uh duh big red truck flippin smoothe heh i like to rub it all over my body especially on my boobs and jump in the sewer and let all the infested rats and critters suck it off and they dont like nuts- heyguesswhatiseenurasscrackyounastysmellingtunacunt


neither you have to mix them together so u have a nice smooth crucnch- nullboy

Cunchy...cause' it feels like I'm eating body parts and bugs...Or...I mean the body parts OF bugs.- InstantOatmeal

smooth, its easier to half-bury the dead bodies in smooth, to watch them miserably rot while their souls are strangled by the peanut-butter god, of course, because smooth doesnt have all the chunks in the way.- Morshada

chrunchy, till u choke on the chunks I WARNED THA MUTHERFAKU is muthafaku one word or two?- gerni

Smooth, it glides over skin better- Hufflebunny

Neither, I prefer jam... it slides in better - Knightmare

Crunchy peanut butter broke all of my teeth and then i ate my teeth. So then my grandpapa who lent me his choppers reccomended I eat only smooth or none at all... but *shush* dont tell granpa but i still eat crunchy cept i put it in a blender with some more peanut oil (HYDRANATED OIL IS KILLING EVERYONE)until it turn liquidy and then i put it in a culdron and pour it down my throat. Crunchy is so much better, you cant stop me,not even you toothless grandfather. Not Even YOU.---- SEACREST OUT!- Cakey, tee hee

Crunchy, dammit! Smooth breeds contempt. And mold.- shadowrayshower

Crunchy peanut butter is the better compaired against Smooth but Sharp peanut butter !YAH! Glass tastes good, and despite people who are afraid of being cut.."ooo".. "boo boos".. "im hurt"..WUSSES! A nice amount of blood spill does ya good! I AINT. - GargleSpit

crunchy for texture- teacher

Crunchy is the best, not only is there more texture with every chew but it leaves a delightful residue on my tongue.- Trooper69

peanut flavored butter how discusting- isneeze

I only eat crunchy peanut butter if I feel like living on the edge...or if I feel the need to injure myself. When my masochistic ways aren't dominating me, I go for smooth peanut butter. Mmmm, smooth and creamy....- McDiablo

crunchy, you get all the benefits of regular peanut butter plus crunchy nuts its just so much more awesome- redlight75

neither... peanut butter means sticky fingers and sticky fingers means sticky counters and goddamnit there isnt a sticker counter that i don't end up putting my arm on. so FUCK PEANUT BUTTER.- EmprissNikon

i think i have been here before.. however,,,sometimes you feel like a nut,,sometimes you don't.- rayyo77

I like both, but I guess it wouldn't hurt to whip up some kind of complaint about one of them..let's choose crunchy. Look at the name. Peanut BUTTER. If you were putting butter on your toast and there were crunchy bits in it you'd spit it out and throw away the whole thing. But I guess it's ok as long as you're absolutely certain that the chunks are peanuts and not bits of bone from the ground up bodies of the competitor employees that Jiffy is trying to get rid of ever so gradually. - FartMonkey

Crunchy.....because it is fu**ing crunch!- imaginary_firnd


depends on what you intend to use it for.- possession of a mind gets you 5 to ten...

Smooth, beucase its so creamy- Cimpmink

Smoooooooooth.......because it spreads easier.....crunchy is good on crackers though- harbinger

Crunchy...I like finishing off the meal by picking leftover peanut chunks from my teeth. - Pretty Plague

crunchy! it's like having a mouthfull of dirt that tastes good.- Neck

Peanut butter is bad for your social relations. It's like glue in your mouth and prevents you from speaking your mind. It sticks to your teeths and starts to rott and smell and yuck! It's fattening! If you don't give a shit about all that, try both crunchy and smooth peanut butter types and tell me what answer to write here.- Omuletzu

Super crunchy of course smooth is so boring and has a gross texture. It is all about the texture.- the woman

i like smooty crunchy is too interferent -schizoid

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