: October 2004

It's early in the morning and you have to go somewhere dumb.
How do you force yourself to wake up?

I don't.- Myass

I set alot of alarm clocks up to go off exactly one mineute after the other. So first , I'll have to get up, then when I turn it off and try to go back to bed, another goes off, so I turn that one off, and so on untill I reach the shower, Bedroom, Kitchen, and my car. Either that or just not sleep. You can live with no sleep and foutry two cups of coffee ever night. -me

a brick to the head. If that doesn't work, get someone to tie me to the bed, strap the bed to the back of a truck and drive to said dumb destination, thereby allowing me to complete all my laborious chores without ever leaving the sateity of being enconsed in my bed.- Fish

I usually wouldn't in that situation... however for the purpose of this question, I would imagine that if I didn't get up, a herd of old age pensioners would come and jump on me. Naked. With prosthetic limbs. - Mort

Normally, It would be for school. I usually wake up to my alarm around 6:30, which is so loud, it wakes everyone in the house wake up, and i'll hit the snooze button a few times, and eventually one of my parents will come into my room, in a bad mood because they haven't had their coffee, and pull me off my bed, and make me get up.- Hufflebunny

think bout what im goin 2 do after comin bk from the dumb place- louby

I sleep until Im ready to wake up.- Mori

well if i actually need waking up, i will have been sleeping. If ive been sleeping, then i have most definately knocked myself out by slamming my head into the wall during a dream or something. i just tell myself theres ice in the fridge when i wake up.- JAG

This is a trick, isn't it? You're trying to find out how we force ourselves awake so that you can then turn around and use it against us in your schemes to make us go places. Well screw you. I'm not telling you that in order to force myself awake I use a pair of pliers, a Static-X CD, and duct tape. Nope, not going to tell you.- anthrax.boy

if its dumb. why would i go?- asdf2345

I don't have to wake myself up. My cats will do that for me. All I have to do is try and get a good night's sleep and I guarantee that I will be jumped on nice and early. My cats will be sure wake me up a bit earlier than I have to be just so I have to feed them.- bluemonkeyfearer

I just remember that the sooner I get up the sooner I will be done with whatever dumb thing I have to do.- LalaTona

i think about if i dont get up and shower and all that crap that a hot girl will walk by and be like "ewww stinky ass"- Forkorc

well, first i try to reach for the alarm clock to bash it out of existance, and in doing so fall out of bed, then i put on some pants, after all, who can sleep in pants.- Wolfman

Masturbation.- Mzebonga

i try to avoid thinking, "its just a bad dream," because when you do that, you can convince yourself that you can do anything, which pretty much always ends badly. I have a happy peppy room mate: hence, leaving the house in the morning spares my delacate mental balance for a while.- eva psychotic

I call my boss and rescedual the oppointment with the person who undoubtably doesnt knwo the meaning of 'sleep' and than, I take my sock-guards and we go swimming for three hours, which is a very good wake up.- General Sock Penguin

i make some sort of strange contraption like Kevin did in Home Alone, that'll knock me over the head, burn me, slash me or in other words, damage me to the point i hafta go to the hospital and therefore i would be up...- POOTHROWER

force myself to believe that the underwear gnomes are coming for me- Yeti

roll out of bed and make sure I land face first, then I'm sure to be awake- SG*

force myself to wake up????when i am sleeping i do not seem to have the ability to force myself to wake up. "damn a snooze button" it causes war and most other problems. after fighting this evil button for decreasing increments of time over a period of a half an hour,, im' sure everyone who submits themselves to this unholy practice ,starts their day off REALLY PISSED OFF. - rayyo77

Through cardiac arrest. My stepmother used to use this method when I lived with her when every morning she would whisper into my ear, "Nelson honey, they've cancellled Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles." It would take three shots of morphene and a chorus of sixteen alter boys singing "HEROES IN A HALF SHELL, TURTLE POWER" outside my window to revive me. Ahhh the good old days. I only use these methods now in extreme necessity, like obviously your bery good example of having to go somewhere dumb.- Nelson

Knowing me, I'll probably just wake up at an appropriate time without having to use an alarm. I have an alarm in my head, you see, and one time it malfunctioned and...well, I won't go there, but I can say that a chainsaw was involved. But, waking up to go somewhere dumb? I think this scenario will have to, once again, involve that good 'ol chainsaw.- McDiablo

I say that it's all a dream and that I'll wake up soon enough- Angel

wank- fox

Lightning might wake me up?- SillyWilly

Is there anywhere besides bed that isn't dumb? Anyway, I set the alarm to the most annoying fucking sound so that i can't sleep through it, then set it to go off every 30 seconds for about 10 minutes. After about 2 or 3 minutes, I usually get pissed off, thus bringing me to go and have my shower, at which point the alarm (still going off every 30 seconds or so) wakes up my now-pissed-off-sister, who comes in and kills me. That's what's happened the last couple of days, anyway (which really sucks, because I don't particularly like dying every day).- Sven the Masseur

I'd sleep in a tub of water and, in the morning, have someone throw a cup of mattress in my face- j0eg0d

just do- johnbob

Well for starters I'd have to put a muzzle in mouth, as my hysterical screaming upon waking is like a sweet lullaby to my ears. Then it would be important to disattach the wires in my alarm clock and apply them to my testicles so if I had to wake up early at least I could begin the day with some pleasant feeling of electricity in my nuts.- Archbishop Shaggy

I don't. I tell everyone I'm getting up as I go back to sleep.- SkyofStLuke

Masturbate- Grady

u slowly rool towards the end of ur bed until u fall off - danni-fo

I take 8 panadol which in turn makes me light headed and then I fall to the ground hitting my head, knocking myself unconscience...oh wait...that's how I avoid not having to meet my mother on my days off.- Schmidtler

I imagine a large fat woman in bed with me trying to eat me penis first thatll make you jump right up!- thathinguywhois

smoke a joint and fall back asleep and when i wake up again i am able to get up and skin up again- n dom

get my girlfriend to toss my salad- FLAMINGSQUIRREL

If it's dumb, I don't go. But usually I get so worked up over trying to figure out a way out of it that I wake myself up and can't fall back asleep.- eepX3

I take a shot of whiskey, roll out of bed, put on some clothes and stagger to the place i'm going drunk. If it's dumb I mine as well be drunk, cause you really would have to be stupid to force yourself to go to a place you really didn't feel like going to. Even if it's a job or something, nobodys keeping you there, if its that stupid to you then stop going otherwise stop bitching. - Ducky

If all else fails, I sprinkle catnip on my nipples and whistle for my cats.- MilesWB

don't look so shocked. A flaming torch in the middle of the room will do it to anyone.- Hells Black Rose

I never go anywhere dumb, so I don't bother- Dco

no...unless it's something dumb that i have to do- bobby bo boo boo

use an alarm clock... it's quite simple really. Many people throughout the world produce items that are readily available (maybe even in your local convenience store) that are designed with the sole purpose of waking you up. It doesn't just stop there though, oh no... there are multi-function devices too that incorporate alarm clocks (radios, mobile phones, hi-fi's, mothers, the list is endless).- The war on Sock-ism

Wake up at 4 just to play Halo before my younger brother gets to it.- Mantis

I don't. If it's really important, they'll drag me along. Then I'll wake up in the car, confused and disoriented, and decide to fling open the door and leap from it, preferably off the street but into oncoming traffic if necessary. After creating a scene and attracting the police I'll get them arrested for kidnapping and then have the cops drive me back home so I can continue sleeping. - FartMonkey

I'll rig up me a dandy alarm system that plays Britney Spears songs until I get up and shoot at it. - monkeeskittles

pretend i'm going to have a massage by lindsey lohan - irish psychos boyfriend

I don't- Horse

Strategically place my alarm clock on the entire other side of the room, own a bunk bed and sleep on the top so that if I want the beeping to stop I must climb a ladder, traverse the terrain of my floor which has also come to be a shelf, and finally smack the thing around, and if that doesn't wake me up I keep a cooler next to the clock, filled with ice for me to stick my face in- Joel

Put alarm away from bed, so I have to get out to turn it off.- Aaron

I don't- Jadio UK

Turn on my radio, listen to whatever shit their playing untill I can't take it anymore, and get up so I can kick my radio of the stool it's on (so I can reach it from my bed.) - Purple Lemming.

hit myself with a hammer- crazybobo

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