You go to work. Since you are at work, you can not find the lap dancing sock monkey.
You are not meant to be an adventurer.
BUT when you go home that night, you design and sew yourself a sock monkey costume.
You may not find a lap dancing sock monkey, but you sure as hell can pretend to be one.
You get a job at the local strip bar and quit your day job.
People talk about you and your wonderful routine for weeks.
Eventually you hear of the legend of the lap dancing sock monkey during your travels to the Orient
and you begin to search for it... you thought you were the only one...
That's right, the mystery is truly solved, YOU are the lap dancing sock monkey. Too bad you're too much of a dumbass to figure it out, and continue searching the planet for your mate. You die a lonely death.