The lap dancing sock monkey.
Choose your own adventure.

You say "Lovely cat, but can I pet it?"    She slaps you across the face and goes back inside her room, slamming the door behind her.  You leave the hotel property and sit in a nearby field.  While there you notice an ant hill.  They all seem to be taking things into their tiny home.  You wonder if they know where the lap dancing sock monkey is, so you begin to dig out their home.

About 2 feet down you find a pipe.  It's getting kinda dark so you bring out your lighter and use it for light.  There are no markings on the pipe so you vacate the area.  You have put the lighter back in your pocket and walk towards the airport again.  Halfway back you trip over another ant hill, destroying it and killing many ants.

You pick yourself up and continue walking.  You don't get far before you are confronted by a creepy looking guy in a trench coat.  He tells you that you are to be brought in for murder.  The ants you dug up the first time are endangered species, with a penalty of a million dollars for each murder.  You are hauled away to jail.  You are forced to endure years of toilet cleaning and eventually die when you flush your head in the toilet.  You are a murderer and a dumbass. 

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