Gifts that SUCK .
Here are some things that you shouldn't give to others during this wonderful holiday bullshit season. Well, unless you're a huge asshole/bitch that never wants to get invited out for the holidays ever again. Which isn't a bad idea.

A box filled with dirty week-old diapers.

An empty box.

Spit in a bottle.

Used kitty litter in a decorative basket, made to look like soap salts.

Cat shit strung together into a necklace and matching bracelets.

Used printer paper.

A melted snow-sculpture.

A molotov cocktail wrapped up and left under the tree.

Rudolph's severed head.

Cookies made of vomit.

Used batteries.

Expired foods with mold growing on them.

Fruitcake from 3 years ago that somehow ended up in the back of your fridge.

A cell phone plan that costs the person $200 every month, and you only had to pay $20 to sign them up for 5 years.

A fake certificate telling them a donation has been made in their name for a fake charity.

Chocolates filled with peanut butter for someone who is allergic to peanuts.

Fancy underwear from a relative, and you ask them to model it for you.

Toys that shoot food-colouring into your face.

Things that require two-hundred batteries to run, and the batteries only last 10 minutes.

Items found in as dollar store duct taped together with a bow on top.

Items with the price tags on them, showing everyone that you got them all from the clearance section of some shitty store.

Stinky perfumes/aftershaves.

A framed photo of the person you're giving the gift to, and they're the one who gave you that photo.

Whatever that person got you the year before, wrapped up in new wrapping paper.

Something that YOU will like, not them, knowing/hoping that they'll just give it to you.

CDs and DVDs that you want to hear/see and before they're even done unwrapping them, you're asking to borrow them.

Buying things you know they'll hate just so you can laugh at them.

Wrapping things up in boxes from really expensive stores, but putting in something completely cheap.

Putting a $10 gift in $30 worth of wrapping.

Used socks filled with horrible tasting candy.

A bucket of cold water dumped on that person while they're asleep.

A sweater that lights up, blinks and emits holiday music.

Religious gifts for those who aren't religious.

Email viruses.

Mistletoe so that you can try to kiss them when they open it.

Your used underwear with their name spelt out in skid-marks.

A certificate telling them their name and address has been added to several billion mailing-lists.

Pretending that you sent their gift in the mail and it got lost, but really you didn't send anything and don't plan to.

Stereotypical chick/guy gifts without knowing anything about the person you're buying for.

Gift certificates for lousy stores, stores they don't live near, or for silly amounts like $5.

Gift certificates that expire in a month and/or require a fee for using.

Strange alcohols that no one has heard of, much less want to try drinking.

STD's or other diseases.

A bag filled with cigarette butts.

Rancid meat, wrapped in bacon for a vegetarian.

Clothes are are purposely a smaller size so you can tell that person to loose weight to fit into them.

A gift certificate for a store that is out of business.

A gift certificate for a make-over because you think that person is ugly.

Giving them a 'room make-over' without telling them and painting the place a colour they hate, painting their furniture and throwing out everything YOU hate.

Signing them up for a time-sharing seminar weekend, but not telling them that's what it is.

A pillow stuffed with your own hair or some random pet fur.

A carcass scraped off the road.

Their recently deceased pet, stuffed and mounted on a board.

Strip-tease lessons for a blood relative, telling them you want to see RESULTS.

A box of chicken feet and pig ears.

A toothbrush you used to clean your toilet.

A used condom.

A voodoo doll of themselves and a note explaining that you'll no longer be jabbing it with sharp objects.

Dead flowers.

Weed/pot related items that get opened in front of family members just so that person gets in trouble.

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