April 13/04
Answered by: JCP

What would you do if the blue monkeys really ARE coming?-bluemonkeyfearer
Since you live in fear of them, I will pretend like this couldn't possibly happen. The reality is that they are indeed coming, and will be here next week.

Yesterday my male cat jumped through my screen to get at another male cat outside. After an hour of searching for him in the dark, I found him two blocks away, about to duel with a second cat! I tried to rescue him by grabbing him by the scruff of the neck and kicking the other cat, and my cat tried to kill me! I have a gash on both my hand and my arm. Is my cat a minion of the devil, or is he just stupid, or does he just have raging male-cat hormones???-bluemonkeyfearer
It's a little of all three. Cats are like this. Your cat will punish you later on by making you work in the kitty litter mines, but only for a month. Next time you should install stronger screens.

I'm not some kind of a vagina monkey, man?
Yes you are actually.

Why do my cats pee everywhere in my room except for their litterbox? Can I spork them? Do you even know what sporking is??? Have you read the Book of Bob on http://www.geocities.com/hsrpbob/book_1 ? - bluemonkeyfearer
I was going to actually read some if it, and was fogiving it being from geocities but then all this stupid shit went floating around the screen and I closed it. I HATE THAT CRAP! Anyone who uses those floating things and/or those stupid comet cursors should be shot. I dislike it so much I'm not going to answer the rest of the questions you put with it.

Who comes up with all of the things on the insane thoughts and ideas list???-bluemonkeyfearer
Members of TheInsaneDomain.com. We did have my.theinsanedomain where people could add their own, but you all suck so it failed.

Do I annoy you with my constant question-asking?-bluemonkeyfearer
Strangely enough, no. Not yet.

have you been clamed to be dutch and kicked their ass for it?
Please lay off the crack before asking questions.

i love you darling like i love urine, Do u return the favour?-BALH
No, I still hate you very much and plot your death in my spare time.

misspelling balh sounds appropriate sense 'things dont matter ' according to the definition... Im going to contact websters and amaze them with my dexterity.your thoughts..? -Balh
I think you should really put some thought into each question, and reread it before hitting send. Then perhaps Websters would be interested, but we all know they won't be but we'll lie to keep your hope alive. Once they turn you away (after making fun of you) you will come back here to cry and I'll make fun of you some more.

so I was on my webcam showing off my cock again and someone reported abuse on me! Later that day a small van pulled up, 6 guys jumped out and stormed my house. They smashed my computer, removed the hard drive and took three of my CD's. Now I'm shattered and have this uncontrolable desire to show my cock. Would you consider displaying an image of my cock on your site? THX - FlasherBoy3000
Someone? IT WAS ME! I was offended the first time (once I realized it wasn't your pinky finger) so there is no way I'd put it on my site unless you paid me lots of money.

how do you masterbate
Well first I, wait a minute, I'm not telling you. You'll just sit there, imagining it and masterbate to it. Forget it you sick fuck.

How can one efficiently separate the two halfs of a frozen bagel, after just waking up and not being bothered to defrost it? Evil Muffin
Use a very sharp knife and slice it apart. If that doesn't work then no bagel for you.

Hello. I was wondering how to Jack-knife a child? The most quick and effective way please, I don't want to hang around too long. - M. Mort
I'm not sure how you can do this to a child. Perhaps you're too stoned to be asking questions, but if you just want to KNIFE them, then go for the throat.

How many questions per day do I have to ask before everyone at the Insane Domain gets sick of me and tracks me down to kill me?-bluemonkeyfearer
Well no one else but me would care, as I'm the one answering the questions. You'll find out how much is too much when I kill you.

Did you doggies know that I found this website while looking up "insanity" online and it's been my favorite website ever since? Okay that's a really annoying "yes or no" question but I felt like asking it anyway.-bluemonkeyfearer
Well I'm not a doggie, but it's interesting to hear anyway. It's amazing what people search for and end up on this site. Here are some of the search words/phrases that people have used and somehow got to this site: "homer simpson", "sockjob", "mike patton", "what do ducks eat", "smurf porn", "monkey porn", "peter aundre"

It says on your rule thingy that I can't send a lot of questions at once, does this mean don't type a lot of questions in the same little box? Can I still type a question and send it, then type another one and send it, and another one, and so on and so forth?-bluemonkeyfearer
Ok NOW I want to smack you. It means don't send me in more then 10 questions a day if your name is bluemonkeyfearer. Does that help?

Did you know that I am obsessive about writing stupid, insane questions? How many more do I have to write before you track me down and kill me? Am I past my limit yet?
Well I'm starting to realize this. That, and you're repeating your questions too. I don't mind questions that I can come up with answers for, but tons of questions that I can't really reply to just get deleted. You'll figure it out when I delete a bunch of them, but for now they seem to be enough for me to answer.

Did you know that I am a sophomore in high school and I spend my time looking around on this website instead of doing my homework? It is truely enjoyable. Thank you to the almighty creators of the InsaneDomain website!!!!!!!-bluemonkeyfearer
Well since you're going through it all, let me know if you find any 404s (use the form, don't write in here). Don't forget to tell all your friends, buy yourself a tshirt, and buy your friends tshirts.

When is the Monkey Butt award gonna get fixed? - bluemonkeyfearer
Eventually. I'm working on other stuff, but don't you worry your little head about it, it WILL return. You can take down the online shrine you created for it.

Why do I like to imagine my boyfriend puking? -Edriss
It makes you laugh. Actually, it makes me laugh. Now YOU puke so I can really laugh. I'll be taking pictures to put up here for everyone to see so they can laugh too.

Any suggestions on a cool public prank I can pull...I intend on filming it so I can laugh at it when I'm drunk. Thanx JCP. RealmO-K
Public? Hmm. I'm not a great one for pranks so I'll forward your question to Poptart and I'll post this question again the next time I answer and will give you his answer.

I love you JCP. Will you marry my brit ass? Love Mezbonga
Not only did you spell the name wrong, but obviously I know it's not him since he sends me his love letters in the mail. That's right, love letters and they are smeared with his deodorant (to make it smell like him), and instead of licking the envelope shut, he uses the cum from his jerking off to pictures of me. I just don't feel that kind of love coming through this question, so you are a fraud.

I'm driving along this morning and I realize that I am not wearing a shirt under my coat. I was in such a rush that I forgot it, and now it's just my bra on under the coat. Normally this might get me a pay raise or something, but today I am supposed to meet with my boyfriends mother at this snotty brunch. I didn't have time to turn around and get a shirt, so I just pulled a road map out of the glove box and stuck it to myself using some ketchup from some packets I found under my seat. When I showed up, everyone thought I had been mugged/raped (due to the ketchup seeping through the map) and called the cops. Before they could arrive, I took off in my car and haven't returned home since. What do you think I should do now? KetchupQueen
Well you need to obtain some new ID etc. Forget your old life and embrace your new one. Also, from now on I would keep extra clothing in your car at all times. You can't keep this sort of nonsense up for much longer.

Hi JCP!!! I am waving at the computer screen, even though you can't see me! If I gave an offering of cheese to the blue monkeys, do you think they would leave me alone?-bluemonkeyfearer
Were you REALLY waving? Tell the truth. As for the blue monkeys, nothing you do will ever make them go away. They love you so much they think it's hate.

does insanity have a limit?-redpenguins
Yes. Everything does, it's just a matter of finding it. One time I found it when I tried to flush too many condoms down the toilet. It doesn't sound like much, and I'd tell you more but no.

Why is there a Martian staring at me through my window? And how is he there when I live on the second floor? Woogie smeep squiffle
Martians HOVER. Did you think it was magic or something? Hell no! In fact, if it WERE magic then you'd feel a tingling in your fingers.

It's hard to believe, but the little chocolate store I work at is much busier at Easter than X-mas. Which holiday do you think I find more annoying? McDiablo
I can't imagine having to put up with people and their stupid bunny chocolates. If the chocolate is made where you work, you have to tell us, have you ever spit in it?

I was watching the news and they were doing a report from inside a Christian supplies shop (don't ask). There was a little display with a Passion of the Christ movie image book and right in front of it were some bloody nails. I found this...disturbing, but mostly weird. What do you think? McDiablo
Don't ask? You're lucky the hilarity of the bloody nails distracted me. Bloody nails! Hahaha.

When is DC coming back?
Never. I killed the stupid fuck. Not only did I kill him, but after he was dead, I removed his head and gave it to a daycare so tons of little kids can chew on his eyes (and hopefully choke on them when they come off). I took his body and shoved it into a blender. After adding some ice and Baileys, I drank it so I could absorb his power and insanity.

I hear voices in my head. but only when i listen to the radio. am i insane ?
I hear voices too. Sure, I have my headphones on right now, but when they stop then I hear my own voice in my head.

I WANT TO FUCK MY SISTER .FOR THIS WHAT I HAVE TO DO
You need to get a knife and mutilate yourself so that you are incapable of having sex with anyone. Then, just to be sure you don't ever breed, kill yourself.

Hi JCP. Havn't spoke to you in a while, any way I'm in need of some of your wisdom. Why is it that the easter bunny gives out easter eggs.......but rabbits don't lay eggs?- realmO-K
That's right, yet THEY try to tell you different. Don't think it's an accident that every holiday is full of lies. If it weren't for the days off, I'd refuse to awknowledge them in any way.

Why is it taking you so long to answer questions?-bluemonkeyfearer...wait. It's probably my fault for asking so many questions.
Well I was away in Ottawa for a number of days, but it IS your fault actually. It was the questions, and that thing you did. YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. You better come and clean up the mess like you promised.

what is the gobbly thing that hangs from a rooster's chin? -hufflebunny
I don't actually but it's terribly wrong somehow.

April 18/04
Answered by: JCP

why in the fuck does hollywood allways have to fuck up movies based on comic book chacters and videogames?
It's what Hollywood is good at. They try to put so many effects in that they forget about the plot.

Hey, what would happen if one took one's shovel and dug a hole to China but found oneself in Brazil?- SkyofStLuke
Well you'd probably have to learn yet another language, but all in all I'd say you could still have a fun time. In the future you might want to invest in a compass.

I have a really bad cold and my stupid bitch of a mother won't let me stay home from school. Can I kill her?-bluemonkeyfearer
Killing her would be letting her off easy. Plus, let's face it, she doesn't really deserve death for this. For all I know, you tell her you have a cold every day and today it just happens to be true. I say you puke on some of the furniture, carpet and perhaps her bed.

I was going to work out today. My plans exactly were get up at 10:00 o'clock, walk to the gym and make it there for the pool hours(12-2). WHAT HAPPENS IS... I wake up 10 times from 11:00 and finally rise at 1:14... and now i sit down eating a granola chocolate bar on the computer doing regular stuff... now asking you something soon. surrender and gain weight? Or shove this bar into my skull? Shove the bar outside my window then start confidently strutting towards the gym with toothpaste on my face and a PHISH band shirt on (nuthin else)You decide. but by the tiime youve read this i will have already decided on eating 20 ice cream bars and watch taped repeats of conan o'brien.... probably until you answer.-lilCakey
Obviously waking up early to work out doesn't work for you. Work out in the afternoons or evenings. If that doesn't work, go out and get yourself a job to keep yourself busy. Be sure to send me some of the money you make.

Who wrote the story "Kate" and can I write evil hateful things to them to tell them just how sick and perverted they are?-bluemonkeyfearer
Are you saying there is something wrong with being sick and perverted? I beg to differ. That story is great for those very reasons.

How many people visit this website per day? (Mu ha ha I have corrupted two more people by showing them this site) - bluemonkeyfearer
For the month of April, so far, the approx average is 11,500 hits a day. Once you've corrupted 50 people, we'll send you your thank you gift.

if you see a alien on top of a building doing cocain and ask why it is up their and it says cocain is a powerful drug what would you do?- simon
Well I'd leave the top of the building and allow the alien to continue. In a world such as ours, there are many other types of aliens for us to speak with without having to resort to drugged up aliens on rooftops.

If you saw an alien on the house next to yours with bright shining eyes, indistinguishible skin, a clever in one hand, a tampon in the other, and giggling with a girly dutch accent that tells you he's gay what would you do and what would you think? - Rambo
I'd think that there are a lot of aliens on rooftops lately. As for the alien being gay, I'd not really care, as I already have an alien of my own and am not interested in the sexual preference of this obviously psychotic alien. I would have to node and agree with him, then leave the area immediately.

Do you think I need to ask a question to re-assert my authority over the below-average crud that surf this website? - Mzebonga
You need to ask a GOOD question to reassert your authority. Don't hold back because you know it will dazzle the others and prompt all these people into another love letter writing campaign into your website.

if all superheros had tuna smelling ass crusting fish aromaed bootyholes and you had the amazing chance to lick between the asshole which would it be?
NO.

I have a really insane question for you---when are the March What If and Questionaire results going to be posted? It's already halfway through April! You disappoint me so...
I forgot. They're up now, so stop you're crying.

I enjoyed surfin on icey cold artic waves in midst of the may 24th weekend for the last 5 years. Yesterday i heard news that 2 people died of hypathermia, now i have an stomach flu and my pet bird peaked out my babies eye and yesterday i opened my front door There was shattered mirriors everywhere, then a man with his clothes on backwards came by with his pet chia and said hello in dutch. My ears began to bleed and a little girl dressed up as a very sexual woman came by and offered me sexual favours for anyone interested. Then i began to cry and suddenly i was in the mall and the place was dark then a man in a wheelchair guided me into his house while i kept demanding to find my new cat who was bright red like Clifford the dog. Then i was in his home and a magical wizard did tricks. Is this a sign to not do mushrooms every again?-CAKES ( The computer is melting, So hurry up and answer.)
I don't know about EVER again, but I'd certainly lay off them for awhile and just stick with the weed for now. Give yourself a few years to see if you want to do mushrooms again, but this time do them while locked in a closet so that you don't have to worry about any strange stuff happening to you. Also, never bring a live chicken into the closet with you.

Ok, so I'm a girl and I work in a place where everyone else is a guy. The only problem I have is that when I'm going to the bathroom, I feel paranoid if I think any of the guys are near the bathroom door. I'm worried that they'll hear me peeing or shitting and will get turned on by this. Am I wrong to worry about this? Is there anything I can do besides running the tap to ensure they can't hear me? Thanks. Jean
Unless you're working in some fucked up place where people press their ears up to the doors while you're in there, I wouldn't worry about them hearing you. Most times it just sounds really loud to you, so maybe you should try to see if you can hear anyone while they're in there. If you can't hear them, they can't hear you. If you can hear them, then either stop going to the bathroom there, flush it and piss/shit while it's swirling around etc and flush again after each time, or just stop being a paranoid freak. On the off chance that those sick fucks ARE listening to you, either demand a pay raise or quit.

CAN A FERRET BE DECLAWED?
Sure.

do you like cheese? nullboy
Yes I do. I especially like it on pizza.

Do you think that I spend way too much time on this website? -bluemonkeyfearer (my mother says that living in my own little world is a bad thing, but I do it anyway.)
Too much time on this website? Is there such a thing? You should be pleased to hear that I'm working on another 'Choose your own adventure'. Everyone lives in their own little world.

will rats get sick or have problems if they take a bath?
If you hold them under water and they stop living, then that becomes a problem for them.

why is it that when talking about jeans or pants they call it a pair when there is actually only one article?
Things do not make sense. There a great number of these things that do not make sense out there, and if you keep track of them, you will be surprised at how many of them there are.

What would you do if the evil ducks came and carried you down to a street corner, duct taped you to a post and made you create balloon sock monkeys with your toes? -Hufflebunny
I would make balloon sock monkeys with my toes until I was able to loosen up the duct tape enough for me to tear loose. Then I'd go kung fu on those evil ducks asses and kick their feathered asses until they were dead.

What kind of magic spell to use? Slim and snail? Puppy dog tails? Thunder and lightning? Something frightening? - Mzebonga (PS: Magic Dance! Magic Dance! Magic Dance! Magic Dance! Magic Jump! Magic Jump! Magic Jump! Magic Jump! Slap that Baby make him pee!)
You were watching Labryinth without me? That's it, I'm never inviting you to hang out with Bowie and I ever again.

Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?-hufflebunny
No, and obviously they aren't allowed to read the whole script either.

Which way is to the subversive horse?-poolhound
At first I had thought it was in the forest where the trees eat those berries but upon searching online, found out that it has actually moved into the 'Clouds of Reason'. Phone your local florist for directions.

If you wear adult diapers, are you still supposed to go into a bathroom before you piss/shit them?
Well the idea is that if you CAN'T stop yourself from shitting/pissing, then the diapers are there to soak it up. I'm sure some people see it as a reason to not get up though. Buy a bag and try them out. See how fun it is to sit in your own shit and piss.

April 22/04
Answered by: JCP

Why do i enjoy reading this page so much? -Wolfdog
It must be that you enjoy the wonderful answers I give.

I have this song in my head and the same line is being repeated over and over and over...UGH. What do you usually do in this situation? McDiablo
Well I try to think of another song to repeat in my head, and if that doesn't work, and it's a particularity bad song, then I smash my skull in with a book.

Are there going to be a ton of forest fires in B.C. again this summer? (I'm only asking this because it has barely rained in the last few months) McDiablo
Not a ton of them, but a lot of them yes. Make sure you have an escape route planned, as well as a bag of important stuff like Emerald and some quarters.

So....how about those NHL playoffs? McDiablo
They're on in 8 minutes!

Hi you again why did the doggys go away i was kinda liking them it was a good Idea anyway if there were fuzzy tadpoles would you stroke them?
The doggies had to go away for awhile and give themselves a good cleaning. They'll return. Yes, I'd stroke the fuzzy tadpoles and then throw them at people.

So, yeah, the magic formula that generates a good question. I was provided with a formula for a crap insult for my site and it read: "(Insert Random Word in X) U look Like an (X) who was caught giving his (X) an (X) with a huge (X) wedged up his (X). Thats right....You're an (X) with (X) for (X) who likes to (X) (X) with his tiny (X)". So is there a magic formula for a Good Questions that you can extrapolate with a potractor and a set square? Is my rhetoric going anywhere? Well, no, and I'm fast on my way to a Monkey Butt because waffling has got to be the worst you can do... So, my question to you has got to be, what makes a Good Question? -Mzebonga
A good question would be one that has thought put into it, and allows for me to put some thought into the answer. Sometimes I give them to funny questions. Yours gets one because you put some thought (maybe 2 seconds) into it, you stole material off your own website, you mentioned waffling with monkey butt and most importantly, you paid me to.

What is spam REALLY made out of?????? I am not sure I want to know, but tell me anyway.-bluemonkeyfearer
Ground up dead people, animals and old shoes.

what would you do if you were told that your body was unable to support life anymore, as in your systems were puttering out?
I'd burn all the stuff I didn't want anyone to see, say goodbye to some people and kill myself.

do you realize that cheese is from cream excreted from a cows nipples after being fed many hormones and chemiclednsand shit i cant type nullboy
Well you did at least TRY to type, you do get points for that. The milk thing, yes I know that. I'm a vegetarian, so that's good enough, don't you take away my cheese.

umm oh yeah do you like cheesy nachos??
Yes, but I hate burnt nachos.

What the HELL happened to the human gene pool? I thought evolution was supposed to go forward! What went wrong and when? Where did all these fucking idiots come from? Can we just kill them or do they serve some as-yet unknown purpose? -Indomitus
Humans screw EVERYTHING up. I actually agree with DC and his 'sterlize them all and the problem will go away' plan.

What would you do if you went into a tunnel leading to another world with your two best friends but once you got to the otherside of the tunnel you couldn't recognize the fact they were your friends and you ended up being stuck in time?
I'd have to adjust to the new time. If it was in the future then perhaps I can go work for a muesum and if it's in the past then I can become an insane prophet who flings herself off a cliff before I'm sentenced to death as a witch or something dumb.

if you had to make an approximated guess, how long till mzebonga finds life hopelessly ill-fated and kills himself? and what, if anything, could we do to accelerate the process? - EmprissNikon
If you prevent him from being hired, ensure that his websites are never operational for longer then 4 hours and 3 minutes, and scratch all his DVDs, then you will accelerate it by a few months, maybe even a few years. Without your intervention, I give him another 5 to 10 years.

from time to time do you ever ask yourself what the goddamn point is? the answer you keep giving yourself is right, but you continue to get up every morning anyway. why is that? ruminations by monty
There is no point so you have to go out and make one. Did that sound like what you wanted to hear? I'd say more but this is the last question and yea, I'm going to watch hockey now.

April 27/04
Answered by: JCP

What would happen you forgot about your tampon for like weeks?
Well that would never happen unless I were dead, so I think I'd pretty much just rot away for awhile and the tampon would rot along with me.

If I gave you a briefcase full of money, would you thank me? -bluemonkeyfearer
Only if I got to keep the money and I could spend it any way I wanted, even if that meant I spend it on balloons that I could fill with jello.

If I had a lot of money would you help me spend it?-bluemonkeyfearer
Yes but I'd spend it on cool things. I'll even show you how to find the coolest things to spend your money on.

Me or bluemonkeyfearer? - Mzebonga
In a fight to the death? I can't honestly say since I have no idea what bluemonkeyfearer looks like. I would take into consideration that you would probably fight dirty and go for the eyes, so perhaps you have an edge regardless of her size. If she happens to be a black belt in something, then you will quickly have your ass kicked, but probably enjoy it just a little.

As a rough percentage, how many people do you think actually bother to read all the answers? - Mzebonga
On a good day I'd say 60%. Normally, perhaps 30%. Most, (like you) only come here to read the answer to their own questions.

You're telling Nikon to scratch all my DVDs? But I thought the agreement was that you get them when I kick the bucket... - Mzebonga
She knows which to keep aside for me. We've worked that out obviously. I also get to keep your skull.

Why am I sticking stickers to myself? -Hufflebunny
That's what stickers are for, sticking. So good job, keep up the good work.

why does moroccan tea make my breath so fresh?
It's the secret ingredient that I can't tell you about because it's a secret.

Why do dead girls smell funny?
I've always found they smell more rancid then funny, but perhaps you live in an area where bodies don't decay and therefore smell funny instead of rancid.

All those extra little metal things on my braces that the orthodontists never seem to use for anything, are they yet more government tracking devices? Should I get the pliars and remove my braces this instant?
You need to remove every second one, but do so very carefully. If you don't, government robots will come and take away your arms.

What's the most random thing you've done? McDiablo
That's difficult to answer. I do a lot of random things, but as for the MOST, hmmmm. Today the most random thing I did was grab the cat food bag and run around making her chase me.

Do you have an embarrassing moment you're willing to share with us? McDiablo
None come to mind at this point, and I think that this might be due to my subconscious desire to block these events from my mind.

Instead of "bless you", what should everyone say after a person sneezes? McDiablo
Say 'Curse you' or 'Damn, that must have HURT!' or 'Snotface' or 'SHUT UP.'

DO YOU FANCY ME
Not at all. In fact, your all uppercase words and lack of question mark makes me hate you.

So, apart from you, out of all the females who come to TheInsaneDomain who is the hottest, who is most likely to date me and who is most likely to get nekkid? - Mzebonga
I swore to them all I wouldn't release who was the 'hottest'. As for who will date you AND get 'nekkid', we'd have to run some sort of ad or something. Also, you might have to save up some money, as some may require that before getting nekkid. I take it Nikon said no to you again.

If I found the blue monkeys' secret cave again, and I found an unsuspecting monkey and poked him, then ran like hell, and then went home and ate a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, what would you think? What would you say?-bluemonkeyfearer
I was with you up until the jelly. If you send me some Futurama DVDs then I'll overlook the jelly part and rejoin your crusade against the blue monkeys.

Okay... I was emailing a person. My mother calls his mother "a danger to our family" simply because she is cool and has no rules and lets her kids do whatever they want. So... my parents found out that I am still contacting this person. They took away my computer priveliges at the public library. I can't get on email at school. I am slowly going *gasp* ... *sob*.... SANE!!!. Help me! Who should I Spork to death? WHo can I kill? What should I do?!?!?!? - zee fearer of zee blumunkies.
That seems like an over-reaction on your parents part. Then again, I might not know about all the awful things you've been doing when at that person's house. If you didn't do anything horribly wrong, then your parents are indeed over reacting. What I'd like to know is how your parents cut off your internet access at the library and how you're posting here.

Are the universal concepts of time space and reality really illusions of the numinous mind of the allcreating essence of ultimate spirit or are such concepts silly and we really are just a bunch of smart monkeys. thathinguywhois
It's all illusions but not in any way that you or I will ever understand until we're dead. At that point we'll get it and have a good old laugh at the whole thing.

Is it wrong to sit and watch a movie and start laughing when limbs start to fly? I mean even if you can or can not tell that they are props?!?! ~Jeepster
Why would anyone watch a movie otherwise? It's ALL about limbs flying and getting a good laugh out of it. The bloodier the better.

May 2 /04
Answered by: JCP

Why is there air?
If there wasn't, then I'd be very upset and I think most of the other life on this planet would be upset too. Then again, if we all evolved without air, then we wouldn't miss it. I guess the reason that there is air is because it likes it here.

To shave thy pussy or not to shave? That is thy question
I'd have to vote no. I mean, trimming is suggested, but shaving completely? Why on earth would you want your pussy to look like you haven't hit puberty yet? That's just fucked up.

If you're ragging and you die, do you continue to bleed until the end of that week? -Hufflebunny and Luffeh
No you don't, but I don't suggest death as an alternative to pads/tampons.

What if your pussy was on your head and your mouth was on your leg?
It'd be easier to say that someone fucked with your head, but other then that, I don't think I'd enjoy things being all moved around in such a manner.

doesnt anyone realize i'm a completely unwilling participant in this fictional love triangle Mzebonga's created? i mean don't get me wrong, i could listen to him talk about politics all day long... with that accent... mmmm... but he rarely indulges me so we hate him. -Empriss Nikon
Unwilling? Oh come now, we know that's not true. As for the rest, well yes, your hatred has indeed consumed you. It's too bad he doesn't share his accent with you more, perhaps he knows that you are using him for it, and simply wants you to put out in return for him talking. I really think the two of you should work it out, as I'm just an impartial party.

When finished using the bathroom, do you crumple your toilet paper, or fold it?
I do both. I crumple with one hand and fold with the other and just wipe and wipe and wipe until I lose a layer or two of skin. THEN I get out the power washer and make SURE everything is clean. <rolls eyes>

As an answer to your confusion, my parents personally went to the library and told them that I can no longer use their computers, and, of course, I am in school right now. My parents do not have the power to take away my computer happiness altogether!!! Now, tell me, why don't these damn school computers let me press F5 so I can get the neat red scroll bar that I get when I am at the library???-bluemonkeyfearer
Your parents seem whacked out. As for the F5 key not working, I'd just keep quiet so that your parents don't catch on and try to remove you from this site as well. I'd hate for them to think that this is a bad influence on you and demand I shut the whole thing down.

Do you eat date squares with dog urine?yummy._Kill
No, I usually have them with milk.

What if all of our scars and scratches and bruises that you got over the years suddenly reappeared?
That would indeed be weird. I'm sure I'd be surprised with most of them, as I wouldn't remember all of the cuts that I've ever gotten. Right now I'm dealing with four holes in my mouth, so I wouldn't be happy with reappearing cuts etc.

hould I vote for someone just because he has an expensive car? - Omuletzu
No. That'd be silly.

Is everything the government's fault?-bluemonkeyfearer
Almost all, the rest of it is humanities fault.

So...I've neglected my duties to TID...will you show me mercy? Please? I beg of you! It wasn't my fault!!! Please???~CasualFatality
Well, ok. But only because your name has 'fatality' in it. Welcome back.

Are you going to show the world your teeth and your bloody gums? - Mzebonga
Oh I will show my teeth, but not my gums. The one is really sick, and I was silly to delay having it ripped out.

how can I divorce my insane husband without getting killed? Sno
Well there are a few different ways, but without specific details on your husbands insanity, I can't really suggest a plan of action. One way is to arrange for his death but make it look like an accident.

how many dwarfs does it take to fill up a phone booth? Sno
Well if it's angry dwarfs then I'd have to say two. If they're happy, then 15. If they are sleeping, 9.

what the fuck is this fucking insane fucking site about shit
Wow, you know I was going to delete this but it's just so stupid I had to keep it in. I mean really, if someone is going to complain or put down this site, the least they can do is put some thought into it. As well, if you don't like it, you can always go fuck yourself.

Wtf? Why'd you get rid of all this good stuff? Nurse on acid and the end of the world button and everything? What's your problem? Most of the stuff on the dead list needs to come back.. especially the coffee shop
Chill out. They will be coming back, some of them are just being updated, aka made better. Some of the stories have been around for some time, and the authors have selected to either update them, or have myself edit/add to them. As for the end of the world button, I think that sucked bigtime and I don't want to put it back. You can't make me.

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