Answered by: Herbert
Why does my brain provide
me with insane questions any more? Is school slowly squeezing
the insanity out of me? I mean, why DOESN'T my brain provide
me with insane questions anymore....I think I said "does". See
how school affects me?-bluemonkeyfearer
Poor bluemonkeyfearer! I'm going to write you a note so you
don't have to go anymore. You can attend sock monkey school
with Professor Herbert. I bet you'd do really well, and your
brain would be filled with insane questions that everyone else
would be jealous of! Have you checked the roof of the school
to make sure it's not some brain killing device the blue monkeys
have installed? That would be just the sort of thing they'd
Could I send something to Canada
from the US using one stamp or would I need more?-bluemonkeyfearer
I don't actually know bluemonkeyfearer! If it were me I'd slap
two on just in case! Maybe if you take it to a fancy mailing
place with real people they'll tell you, but I think two stamps
would cover it. Maybe your mom or dad has stamps that they're
not using they could give you. Are you mailing me a letter?
That would be so wonderful! I'd be so happy that I'd send you
I saw this yard of grass, that the snow had melted from, and
it said "Keep off the grass." How do you think that sign got
there if you can't go on the grass? -Hufflebunny
It sure sounds like aliens to me Hufflebunny! How else could
that sign get there unless someone threw it there and it stuck?
That's very creepy. I think that every day you should take a
picture of it and maybe one day it will disappear completely!
Then maybe we'll have photo evidence of aliens coming here!
Yay, maybe they'll let us ride on their spaceships! I wonder
if they have cute round bottoms or not. Maybe they'd have tails!
Why do I laugh hysterically
every - I'm talking EVERY - time I see the stinky moneky butt
picture? I'm 30, not 13. – PRchick
It makes me giggle too! What I like about it is that it actually
has an asshole! I mean, it's all brown and everything! How naughty
is that?! I wonder who actually made that though, since it wasn't
me. I once tried to put my paw in that bottom but it didn't
work and my paw hit the monitor instead. I've had to settle
for my own monkey butt instead. Would you like to look at my
butt? I don't have a brown asshole or anything, I promise. I'm
a clean bottomed monkey.
Are you actually insane
or are you just some schmuck with way too much free time on
their hands? I hate false lunatics! -IshmuBendat
Well I'm both! Not only am I insane, but I'm some sock monkey
schmuck with too much free time! You have a very fun name IshmuBendat,
I like it. I've said your names out loud a few times and I still
like it. Can I use it sometime? I'll try very hard to not be
a false lunatic, just for you IshmuBendat!
no als I cannot send
you pikachu dolls for you to molest i am too poor for shipping
i also only have one and she's mine! so when you get the urgge
to molest dolls you have too find your own ok?thathinguywhois
That makes me very sad thathinguywhois, but I guess I can do
that. Maybe someone else will have extra pikachu dolls and send
them to me? I'd be happy with any sort of mail really. I never
get anything! Well, not to say your questions don't mean much,
as they do and I like them! Everyone likes getting presents
though, and if they don't, I'll take them! I hope you enjoy
your pikachu doll thathinguywhois!
WOW! Herbster, your new
porn is truly groundbreaking! You are, without doubt a pornographical
pioneer! How can i one day match your status? Superman Dave
<Blushes> Thanks Superman Dave! Sometimes I feel all self
conscious about it, so it's really nice for you to write in
and tell me how much you like it! The dino wasn't so fun, he
had sharp teeth! There are more pictures to be put up soon that
I'll bet you like. If you want, I can teach you all I know!
Just come here and I'll give you special classes. Then, you
too can be on the site showing off your tail!
Herbmeister, I shall hopefully
be featuring more on this page again, at a level akin to my
previous heyday, because I've quit my job! It was a poo job.
Not actually a job with poo you understand, but i worked until
4 in the morning, sometimes 5! Bleugh! My sleep pattern was
all over the place, my studies and training suffered, and I
had no time to go around drinking and finding people to rub
my tail. But all this has now changed! Do you think this is
a good thing I've done? (see?! there was a question eventually!)
Wow, good thing you escaped Dave! I'm glad to see you will come
back, I had liked your questions! I'm very proud of you and
think you deserve a cake with icing and sprinkles and maybe
some candles so you can have fire to play with! That job sounds
like it was awful and you Dave deserve to be happy! Welcome
back, here's a great big hug for you and doing something that
will make you happier. In fact, everyone should give you hugs
Me and my friends came up with
a new concept...kinky fox sex. Three wonderful words. I'm trying
to spread the word about KFS but it doesn't seem to be working.
Why do you think nobody is interested in KFS?- BoredBlondChick
If you say it as kinky fox sex, then people would be interested!
KFS is close to sounding like KFC and KFC is awful. You don't
want to get confused with that awful stuff! I say you print
up tshirts with 'Kinky Fox Sex' On them and send me one! I'll
wear it everywhere I go! Maybe Stunt Fox would even wear one
Hopefully you've heard of the
Taste of Chaos tour? Well if you haven't its the awesomest tour
on Earth that involves a lot of my favorite bands. Here's the
problem. My mother said the only way I can go is if she comes.
I said the only way she's going is if she dresses in black and
spikes her hair up. She said fine. Another thing, the tickets
I have to buy. They are about $60 for me and my mom combined.
Well is it worth it? Especially considering I'd be seen with
my mom at one of the awesomest concerts of the year? And what
if I buy the tickets and my mom backs out? What then? - plz
Well make your mom sign an agreement where she CAN'T back out.
Other than that, I say you go with her and have a good time!
I bet your mom would look fun with spiky hair! What a cool mom
you have that she will dress cool and hang out with you so that
you can see that tour! My mom wouldn't let me see any concerts
for a long time because my older brother was a loser and would
do naughty things. He got us both banned and I didn't even get
to go! Can I come with you and your mom? I'll buy us food!
should i fuck my dog?
Only if you've asked your dog and it specifically says that
yes you can. If you're human, that's just a pretty sick thing
to do. If you're a dog, then that should be ok, but like I said,
ask first. If you're a dog, you must be a pretty smart one that
has managed to find this site and type questions. You should
be a dog so I can put a saddle on your back and ride you around.
I have a friend who sayes
homo or hobo midgits are going to take over the world ... is
this true? "he is a midgit to" -Ishkabilly
Homo hobo midgets? That'd be sad to have hobo midgets, it's
sad to have any hobos, unless being a hobo is fun. I'm not sure
they're going to take over the world, it sounds like your friend
is just trying to scare you into doing what he wants. Maybe
it's some sort of role-playing thing where he's the conquering
midget and you're the helpless Ishkabilly. Mmm sounds like fun,
can I watch?
so one day i was sitting
here thinking.. what if we were all mental? what if each and
everyone we know is actually a figment of our imagination..and
that everyone we are talking to is in our heads.. everything
we see is hallucinations? wouldnt that be freaky?! :O
It would be freaky! That could be true, and if we never find
out the truth, well then it's the same as it all being real.
I always wonder if the people I see on the streets are in fact
real, and if everyone else can see them. I would like to think
that if I made people up, they'd be happier and want to send
me toys in the mail or come over and stroke my tail.
No, im NOT the guy who keeps
asking for ways to 'masterbait'. WHY HAS MY SANITY NOT RESUMED!!!
and i think im owed an appology for your abrasive tone, or i'll
rip the fucking stuffing out your ass you fucking cum-rag. South
West Suicide xxx
I do remember answering at least a few questions by you, maybe
you just don't come here often enough to see me reply to your
answers! Maybe you're lying! Maybe you're just saying all this
to mess with me! I like the bad-cop act though, will come over
and spank me because I'm naughty? Why don't you come over for
pizza (you're paying) and then I'll answer any questions you
have in person! That'd be great! From now on I say you come
here every day to see if I've answered your questions!
the assertions that this site has become something of a wet
dish-rag since the departure of DC, would you care to join me
in issuing the following statement? "We, those sacred few, who
deign to take time to actually keep this site up together as
lead by JCP for you, those pathetic few, who deign to read it
would like to remind you that DC has been gone for over a year.
He is gone. He does not answer questions. He loves you no more.
He didn't love you in the first place. It's over, move on. Better
yet, die. Many thanks to you all for your continued support,
love and kisses: The Insane Domain.com"
Wow, that's a great idea! I will send it to JCP and maybe she'll
put it up! If not, maybe I'll put it up on the 'ask a question'
page! We don't need him, you're right, he's GONE! Ok he may
be coming back, but NOT to answer questions! It's MINE now!
You love HERBERT! I'm the one who gives you hugs and love and
wants to spend time with you! And besides, my tail is much nicer.
Oh my word, are the What Ifs
dead or something? If so, where can I go and cry? McDiablo
Yes, it's true! Dead! Well ok, there is ONE of them on the Questionnaire
and I even noticed there is an extra question. So that's five
questions to answer, and before we were answering three questions
and three what ifs. We've only lost one question, and now don't
have to go all over to answer things! So don't cry McDiablo,
things are still good for us all. If you feel you still must
cry, come here and I'll hold you. I can even rub your back a
bit as you cry if it makes you feel better. Afterwards I'd love
to get a slurpee with you, I bet you'd know how to make the
best one ever!
Will it be sunny on Sunday?
You'd think it would be all the time seeing the word 'sun' is
in 'Sunday'. McDiablo
It should be sunny on sunday shouldn't it! I agree with you
McDiablo, and we should make our own spaceship so we can fly
around and have it be sunny every day, just by pointing our
windows to the sun. We could have some great adventures and
maybe even write choose your own adventures for others to enjoy!
Imagine the fun we'd have! Let's go do that now McDiablo!
Answered by: Herbert
Pizza would be lovely! and maybe we can ask each OTHER insane
questions. AND, if you want, i'll play the bad cop, and after
too much beer, i could do more than spank you. would that be
fun? South West Suicide.
Oh yum, pizza sounds REALLY good right now! I'll do WHATEVER
you say! Yea, spankings, beer and anything else! Mmmmmmm you
sound like a LOT of fun South West Suicide. I'm all excited
now just thinking about it and can barely hold back from running
out the door to find you. Once these questions are answered
I'll get ready for you to come and get me! Yay, spankings!
you like it if I took you home and put you in my secret meat
fridge, tied you to a giant pig and whip you iwth a leather
whipe while wearing butless leather chaps with gothic industrial
playing in theb ackround very loudly? Or are you not into that?-me*HUG*.....*whip!*
Wow, that sounds like a lot of fun too! I'll come visit you
tomorrow night! You people are just so wonderful to open up
your hearts to me and spank/whip my bottom as it should be!
My bottom will be sore from having fun with South West Suicide,
but you won't mind will you? If anything it will make me yelp
more! Will you be wearing fancy leather shoes too? I bet you
would be, and just not tell me so that I can be surprised! You
really know how to make a sock monkey happy!
is a howler monkeys tail
as long as his body
Sure, if not longer! Howler monkeys are great fun, sometimes
they have blowdarts that will put you to sleep if they get you.
It's the purple howler monkeys that are the most dangeorus.
You'll be walking along and all of a sudden you'll feel a sharp
pain in your tail or neck and before you know what's going on,
you'll drop to the ground unconcious. It's very scary. When
it happened to me I was really scared, and still have a few
marks on me from the things they did. I'd tell you more but
I've repressed those memories so I don't wake up screaming anymore.
The worst possible thing
has happened.....The Taste of Chaos Tour......has been.....*tear*
cancelled in Dallas, Texas (Which is where I live) So I guess
I'm not going..... should I write an angry letter to the tour
managers?-BoredBlondChick (thanx for the idea about the t-shirts.
we made some and wore them at school and now our whole school
knows about Kinky Fox Sex)
That's really sad, I'm sorry to hear that. I'll give you a big
hug to make you feel just a bit better. I think you should not
only write an angry letter, but claim that it ruined a chance
to get to know your mom better and send some rotton food with
it. I'm very jealous of your shirts, can I have one? Do I have
to do naughty things to get one? I will have me and South West
Suicide vouch for me!
Why are people so retarded and
they ONLY go for looks when choosing a boyfriend/girlfriend?
Whatever happened to love? -Hufflebunny
They're just being stupid idiots who watch too much tv and think
life works that way too. I like you Hufflebunny, you're one
of my favorite people! If those people don't know how cute and
fun you are, well they don't deserve you! You and I can make
it so none of them can be happy or have kids and then we can
rule the world forever! We could put some GOOD shows on TV and
make the rest eat mud!
would you like to fuck my wet
vagina with your tail? monkies make me horny
Sure! I'll even wash my tail for you, as it's gotten a bit crusty
lately. Would you like to join me in the bath? That way we'd
both be wet.
my "midgit" friend read your
answer on my last Question and he is now saying "evil hobo midgits
are gona take over the world with the aid of their mindeless
sock monkey slaves" no ofence Herbert-Ishkabilly
Wow, really? Being a slave to one would be great. Is your friend
looking for a slave sock monkey now? I'm a bit busy with others
for awhile, but maybe next month I can be his slave. I'm such
a good willing slave, he'll love me and spank me often. Mmmmmmm
spankings from evil hobo midgets.
how do you give someone a static
All I have to do is run around on carpet while dragging my feet
and then touch them. You might want to put on big wooly socks
and do that. Normally it works. Don't touch anything metal before
you touch the person or you'll lose the shock. It's fun and
I'm sorry herbie i am
a selfish thing i am even if I am a guy (checks) yup definetly
a guy, I will look into getting you a pikachu doll it might
double as a back pack though and hav a funny zippered opening
at the top behind its head, but thats where you stick your tail..
I would like photos of that!!! mmm...thathinguywhois
Wow, a doll that doubles as a back pack?! That'd be wonderful!
I could put some shoes and a blanket in it! If you sent me one
of those I'd be just so happy I'd have to dance around for a
few hours and maybe even go buy you some lovely shoes to say
thank you. I would take photos and everything, both of me dancing,
and doing naughty things with the backpack.
Can humans puke up foam?
Sure, if they eat it. Maybe there are humans that puke up foam
every day. I haven't met all of you in person, so maybe you
are actually a foam puker and just don't want to tell me. If
you were, that'd be ok, foam is fun. I can't speak for all sock
monkeys, but once I shit out foam. It was light and fluffy,
even if it didn't smell so great. Fart foam I'd call it because
it smelt like farts.
I have just recently
been introduced to the grunge seen from my older friend how
is ten years older than me Iam 17 by the way and Im woundering
what the grunge fashion is because I want to fit in I've always
been 10 years behind in style doing my own thing. Can you help
Well from what I've been told and seen, it was dark clothing
that was layered. So you'd have a tshirt over a long sleeved
shirt, and then a hooded sweatshirt over it. Also, checkered
flannel shirts seemed to be popular for awhile, as they too
could be put over other layers of shirts. Wearing secondhand
clothes also was popular I guess. It seemed that no one cleaned
their hair very often, so I'd stop doing that if I were you.
Big boots are a must as well. Not fancy shiny ones, but dirty
clompy ones. Still, they'd be sexy on you I'd bet.
I would wear a 'Kinky
Fox Sex' shirt Herbert. It would be wonderful! Do you think
there should be naughty pictures of foxes on the front? -Stunt
I'd wear one too Stunt Fox! Wow, naughty fox pictures! I bet
BoredBlondChick will agree that that's a GREAT idea! I'd love
a shirt like that and I'd wear it everywhere, even in the shower.
I think this is a great suggestion Stunt Fox and you deserve
some hugs for it!
Answered by: Herbert
people try using MSN emoticons on things like Forums and online
journals when they obviously don't work? -Hufflebunny
They're just being very dumb and very silly. You really don't
like people with the MSN messages and such, so I say you ditch
MSN and find yourself a fancy NEW messenger program. That way
you don't have to see those people with stupid away messages,
and you get a new program to play with! You could even make
a Hufflebunny Messenger!
I'm going to New Brunswick
next weekend. What sort of present would you like me to buy
for you? :) -Hufflebunny
Oh wow, lucky you Hufflebunny! I'd like anything at all if it
came from you! You're so good at asking questions and being
fun that I'm sure you'd come up with some great ideas! I bet
you'll have tons of fun going there. I've never been there but
maybe one day I will. I think that'd be great fun! I hope you
have a safe and fun trip Hufflebunny!
was walking up the streest today from my bus stop, and there
was an old dirty sock sitting on the side of the road. How do
these socks get there? Do people actually sit on the sidewalk,
take their socks off, and leave them there, hoping they'll attract
a mate? -Hufflebunny
I've seen those abandoned socks as well! At first I thought
they were sock monkeys so down on their luck that they had sold
all their stuffing, but when I looked closer at one, it gave
me shit for staring and informed me it wasn't a sock monkey
at all. Some of those socks have been on the streets for awhile
and they're mean, so be careful Hufflebunny! I'm not sure how
they all get there though, I'm sure there are some very sad
stories though. I wonder if there are sock shelters for socks
on the street. If not, there should be.
In the Atlantic time
zone, it is exactly 12am. HAPPY MARCH 5TH! Just thought it would
be fun to celebrate :) -Hufflebunny
Well it's now the 7th, but happy March 5th to you too! Happy
March to everyone! If you all line up then I'll give you each
a March hug too. I'd wear a hat that said "PARTY!"
on it and give out balloons! Then you could fill them with air
or water or whatever else you wanted to. Maybe even pudding!
if somehow your silly
tube socks were removed, would you: a) commit seppuko b) eat
a banana in denial c) hide all of your appendages in one of
your orifices in shame d) go to wal-mart and buy more tube socks,
hoping no one will notice an animated fluffy creature perusing
I had to look up what seppuko was and it didn't seem to be any
sort of fun so I'll have to say no to that for sure. And since
I refuse to shop at Wal-mart due to the mean greeters who pull
on my tail. I would have to go with c. It's by far the best
Holy crap, Herbert. It seems
like you've been updating the questions section like mad. What's
with this sudden burst of 'answer question-ness'? McDiablo
Really? Thanks McDiablo! I'm just trying to be the best sock
monkey answerer of questions ever! Sometimes I worry that I'm
not giving good enough answers but when you come back and ask
more then I know I can't be doing too badly. You'll promise
to tell me nicely (and with bowls of ice cream) if I'm getting
boring, won' t you? I'd trust you McDiablo.
Should I go to bed now?
Sure, you deserve it! How about everyone sing McDiablo a good
night song. Go to sleep, you little freak, close your little
slurpee eyes. I'll even tuck you in McDiablo and give you a
kiss on the forehead before I leave. Awwwwwwww
before asking*...If a turtle climbs into my window tonight,
followed by an ant, and then behind the ant comes a polar bear,
which one should I keep? - The Bubble
Well, unless you have a very large room the polar bear isn't
really a good idea. I saw on the TV the other night that polar
bears are very big, so having them in your room would just make
things crowded. They are probably a LOT of fun to hug if they
don't kill you, but overall polar bears are just too big. The
ant would be small and easy to keep but I don't know how long
they live. Also, you can't hug ants, so that makes them quite
unfun. The turtle can be hugged and isn't huge, so I would say
you should keep the turtle and name it Bauble!
Why do you need condoms when
you don't have genitals?
Condoms prevent diseases. Nasty itchy burning diseases on the
body. My mom always told me to make SURE I wore one when doing
anything sexual, even when I use my tail.
How often do you bathe?
Does it take a long time to dry up because your skin soaks up
I bathe about once a month, but I need some help as I get so
full of water that I need help washing and such. Poptart hasn't
wanted to wash me in a few months now though (I think he's mad
at me for something I did in one of his socks that he didn't
notice until he got home from work after wearing it all day)
so I'm a dirty monkey, and not really in a fun way. Will you
come and help wash me? I have some fun bubbly stuff that we
could use too!
What would happen if you pressed
Alt+Ctrl+delete, or delete+alt+ctrl ir in some other order?
The same thing would happen as what it's really trying to say
with the plus signs is to do it all at the SAME time! It's not
really an order at all but since we were all trained in school
to think that way, it's how we see it! Isn't that mean of the
schools to alter our thinking like that forever?
why do i stink so much? is it
because im too busy getting all hot and sweaty from looking
Oh wow, really? <Blushes> You know, I need a bath too,
would you like to come over and help me and I with the bath?
Where did pretzels originate
Prezel land which is right beside Salt land. One day one of
the pretzels went over and fell in love with some salt. When
they went to kiss, they stuck together and then someone ate
them and thought "This tastes really good!" Everyone
was happy, as now the salt and pretezel could be together forever!
what if.i killed me and your
sperm - nailnine
I'd be really sad that me was dead. Me was so much fun and asked
some fun questions and so I'd cry. The dead sperm wouldn't make
me sad, I would just make some more when needed, but me, me
is something you can't replace. Don't hurt me, I'd be sad. Be
nice to me nailnine.
What if you ask a question
and aswer it in mid-statement?-me*hug*
I'd giggle and say "Oh Herbert you're so silly!" and
then the person I was talking to would laugh too and maybe we'd
hug too just because we're happy. I'm glad to see you're ok
me, nailnine was talking mean. How about you and I laugh and
hug now? We'd have lots of fun doing that!
on't you think it's funny how
some people will mention their age in a question to try to look
more mature, but you can tell they're lying because of all the
grammerical errors, and the fact that mentioning their age had
nothing to do with what they were talking about. Maybe it's
important to them that they seem older to a sock monkey and
people who don't even know his name. Well congratulations buddy,
you're aparantly lacking other people to impress.-me*BIG HUG*
I think is really to someone who did this in earlier questions,
but I'm too hungry to check and see who did that. Is that gossiping?
<Giggles> No, maybe not yet. Wow me, this is a new side
of you I haven't seen before. You're all sort of tough and sassy.
I like that! Now I can't wait for that bath!
you just LOVE lulling people into a false sense of security
and then suddenly throwing them out of it? Like putting thm
in a warm bath and suddenly dumping a bucket of cold water all
over them. Even little things, like at McDonald's, we decided
to go in, and my friend asked me to fill up his cup because
he wanted to sit down and start eating. Yes, as my friend of
eleven years sat and ate his food, he thought he would be able
to get a nice cold cup of coke to wash it down with. That is
where he was wrong. I took his cup as I turned a menacing grin.
He sat down and I went to the fountain soda machine. I filled
it a quarter-full of ice, and i went for the coke, but when
i reacehd it, i moved a little more to the left, to the DIET
COKE !!! I filled it, and as I filled it, I laughed ! I casually
walked back to our table and handed him his beverage. He only
looked at it for a minuet, then he took a sip. In an orgasm
of deciving fury, I jumped up, pointed at him and screamed,
"HA ! Does that Coke taste gooood?" he looked and replied with
a yes. "Well that's where you're WRONG my friend! That it not
coke. It is DIET coke!" and I broke out into an obnoxiously
loud triumphant laugh. Ahh, I love life.-me*hug*
Mmmm bath. You're just so naughty! I'm glad that you did that,
it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. You're wonderful
me and don't let anyone tell you any different. If they have
a problem with that, I'll write you a note so you can shove
it in their stupid little faces. Thanks for being so wonderful
me, and I will make you a special dinner when you come over
for my bath. I could tuck you in like I did for McDiablo, only
I'd change the last part to suit you better. Big hugs to me
today! Go on everyone, give me a hug!
Answered by: Herbert
you seriously going to write me (me) a note? I'd definently
make 100 copies and hang them all over my wall.-me*hug* P.S.
I see why you get so confuddled with the me thing.
Sure! My writing isn't the best but I'll try just for you! I
thought I was pretty clever last time I answered when using
your name, don't you? I had to think and everything. I asked
some shoes to help me, but they just sat there. If you made
100 copies, maybe you could use them as wallpaper. That would
be fun to do and would be different than everyone else's stupid
walls! Then you take photos and send me them so I can see.
you ever been afraid to tell someone that there's something
wrong with them because A: you think they'll take it too seriously
B: You feel sorry for them and you want to be their friend or
C: you thought they'd react in rage and say something nasty?-me*hug*
Oh yes, all of those. I try to be a nice monkey most times,
which makes me do B a lot. I like to kid around but do worry
about A happening if I am drunk and not saying good things.
I'm not really around rage filled people so I don't have to
worry about C. Most times I find that a hug is the best option.
was the first snowmobile invented?
Joseph-Armand Bombardier is apparently the person who made the
design that's like the one we recognize today. Some website
said 1937 but it could be made up. I've seen lots of things
on websites that turned out to be very wrong. That's scary so
be careful when you read things sometimes. But not when I give
hugs to people. That's never lies.
does this berry flavoured drink contain no berry related things
at all? It has apple flavouring! ...I am frightened Herbert
I'm frightened too Stunt Fox. You should come here and we will
hold each other close. Then we can make ourselves some capes
using flannel blankets and we'll go fight these non-berry berry
drinks! More lies, now on drinks! It's everywhere Stunt Fox,
we should make ourselves some swords out of cardboard too to
fight the lies. Swords of Truth!
my girlfriend pointed out, Why do people sleep at night and
not day? Night is so much better to run around in -Stunt Fox
People, well humans, sleep like that because they need the sunlight
or they go crazy and start doing very scary things. Maybe because
you are a fox, you can live the better way like you said. It
must be fun being a fox! <Giggles> You get to be foxy!
I wonder if there are sock squirrels out there. I will go look
for them the next time I'm near a forest.
seem to know a lot about the people asking questions. Can you
tell me something about me? – PRchick
I do? Wow, thanks PRchick, it's very nice of you to say that
I know a lot. It makes me feel smart. I'm sure you already knew
that about yourself but that's a good thing to know and be told.
Also, I'm sure you are quite huggable and even if you don't
think you are, you don't know that because you haven't given
me a hug yet. I'm the best hugger ever!
is your name herbert
That's the name my mom gave me. I like it. Sometimes I get teased
and called "Pervert" or "Pubebert". That
makes me sad mostly but sometimes it's sort of funny and I have
another MSN question. Someone on my list had the name "El Thong
Monkey" Could they be a cousin of yours? -Hufflebunny
Mmmm no, and that's a good thing. Too bad I don't have MSN though.
I'm not allowed to chat ever since I got the keyboard all dirty.
It's ok though, I have these wonderful questions to answer.
Maybe you should talk to them and get them to send you photos
so you can send them to me. We could hug and giggle at them
together in a fort we make out of cardboard boxes.
would you do if i showed up at your doorstep completely naked
and my tail was wagging? howl. -Wolfman
I'd welcome you in and give you a great big hug Wolfman. Mmmm
make sure it's a full moon, that'd be fun. We could howl together!
are you any relation to q-bert?thathinguywhois
Not that I know of thathinguywhois. Have you been playing that
game lately? Is it fun? It sounds like it might be fun but I
don't know because I haven't played it before. You should send
it to me so I can play with it and then I could return it plus
I was flying in a dream and a sextet of sock monkeys tried to
make me blue with lotsa dye in a big vat but I refused to become
blue i was so mad though I turned red, which scared them away,
then I just stood there staring at the blue dye wondering if
there was any purple monkeys to dye blue why do you think they
wanted me to be blue?thathinguywhois
<Giggles> Sextet. Are you sure that these monkeys weren't
the dreaded blue monkeys that bluemonkeyfearer fears? I haven't
dreamt anything like that before but if I did I would need someone
to hug me until I fell back asleep. Poor thathinguywhois, I
hope you didn't wet the bed in fear. That would be very sad
but I wouldn't tell anyone.
you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times,
does he become disoriented? If Americans throw rice at weddings,
do the Chinese throw hamburgers? Why do you press harder on
the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries
are dead? How can the weather be "hot as hell" one day and "cold
as hell" another? Why don't you ever see the headline Psychic
Wins Lottery? I NEED ALL THE ANSWERS. IF YOU DO NOT ANSWER THEM
ALL I WILL BE FORCED TO DECAPITATE YOU. - O curious 1
Yes, no that'd just be silly, I don't because the remote was
taken away from me last week, hell sucks so it's always shitty
as hell, they're liars and fakes, and since I did so good will
you now rub my bottom?
you ever impregnated another sockmonkey? Have you ever impregnated
another species? Do you wear lil' monkey condoms, or are you
good at withdrawing? Why are all the questions sexual, hell
that's what kind of mood I'm in today.-me*HUG*
No I haven't ever impregnated anything and that's good. I use
sock monkey condoms and sometimes human condoms on my tail.
It's the good thing to do so you don't get itchy burny stuff
or have little monkeys when it's not good to. You should be
careful too me, I'd hate to see you be sick or itchy burny because
you were unsafely naughty. We might not be able to hug anymore
and that'd make me very sad.
it a pain to post up the Questionaire/What If's ? What is the
process you must undergo?-me*HUG*p.s. , how many hugs have i
gived you? ( including the double hugs and the big hugs)
I don't really know. I should ask JCP. My guess is that she
gets all the results, puts the nicknames on it, puts them into
fancy pages and then gives out awards. She won't let me do it
even though I've asked her lots of times. If it takes a lot
of work then it's probably best for me to stay away. I like
giving out awards here and the best part is that I can give
out hugs too!
should i do if a guy ask me out ? but he lives far away from
me my nickname is a li
Did you hit the send button too quick? You are missing an e
on the last word. I'm hoping you didn't get hurt or something.
If you can't actually go out with him then you should say no.
If that makes you sad, you should come over here and we can
hug by a warm fire and you can cry your sadness out.
I get out of the house today? McDiablo
Maybe! I've heard you've been digging a tunnel and hiding it
cleverly with a pylon so those others in the house don't notice.
You might want to arrange a get away car to be there in case
you don't feel like running down the street screaming "FREEDOM!"
while still in your jammies. Mmmm jammies.
you like doughnuts? McDiablo
Yes I do! They're sugary and fun! There are all sorts and it's
fun to be surprised. I took a sneak peak at your next question
and saw Tim Hortons. I like having their Timbits because then
I can have all sorts of types. For those poor monkeys out there
with no Tim Hortons, Timbits are small round doughnuts (some
people say they are the middles from the ring type doughnuts)
of all sorts of the same types of the normal big donuts.
you know that during Tim Horton's "Roll Up the Rim to Win" contest,
28% of Nova Scotia's garbage is, in fact, Timmy Ho's coffee
That's sort of scary! They need to figure out a way to make
their cups out of seeds so that when they are thrown away, instead
of rotting garbage, some little plants with berries we can eat
grows. Same with their trays. Then we could just bury them in
the backyard and have Timmyberries! Maybe they'd taste like
sugar and be all caffeine filled!
Answered by: Herbert
the Sitemeter for my website hate me, Herbert? I know that there
have been visits to my site but it still says zero. WHY???-bluemonkeyfearer
Poor bluemonkeyfearer! I went to your website and it still said
zero! I think it's being mean to you for no good reason at all.
That can only mean one thing, it's the blue monkeys! Scary!
I bet they've been waiting for awhile now to spring this on
you. Those mean blue monkeys, do they have nothing to do but
to bother you? It makes me feel so sad. You and I will get some
ray guns and make those blue monkeys stop their reign of terror
on you! Then we could build a fancy boat and have little colored
lanterns on it while playing 80s music.
Can I have your autograph? Will
you sign my shoe? -Hufflebunny
I'd love to Hufflebunny! <Blushes> Wow you'd let me touch
your shoes! Mmmmm shoes. I'd even hug them if you wanted. I'd
probably even hug them anyways when you weren't looking. Maybe
we can start a shoe club where we trade shoes every month or
two. That would mean we get mail and it's shoes! That would
what do red sharp tail snakes
Snakes are crazy looking aren't they? I wonder what it's like
to squiggle around on the ground all the time like they do.
website says that they might eat slugs. Eating slugs wouldn't
be so yummy I would think. Maybe they are? I'll have to catch
one and try it. You should try eating some too!
I am from upstate New York,
the armpit of the Northeast, and I want out. I am wondering
if Canada is for me. Can you help? – PRchick
I'd love to help you PRchick, do we have to get married so you
can move here? We'd have to learn everything about each other
so we could prove that we're married and everything! Think of
all the late nights just talking and hugging. Mmmmm hugging.
We could buy fancy shoes for the wedding too! What a great idea
THERE WAS A REAL NEWS STORY
ABOUT A COUPLE THAT THE MAN WOULD EAT HIS DINNER OUT OF HIS
WIFE VIGINA SOMETHING HAPPEN AND SHE DIED I'M THYING TO FIND
THAT STORY. CAN YOU HELP?
That's really weird isn't it! I bet it was in one of those funny
news papers where they have alien baby cows and stuff like that.
I saw one of those and there was a picture of girl with two
bums. TWO! Her jeans were all modified and everything! It sure
was funny to see but I know that it's not real. It's too bad
though. You should remember not to believe that for real.
What's your favortie type(s)
Lots of music! Types that make me want to dance or feel things
like happy or sad. Sometimes I just make up my own music and
dance to it. I bet you do that too! It's fun to just dance around
and shake my ass!
What do you think a world without
hugs would be like?-me*hug*
It'd be a sad and lonely world where no one would feel really
good. Maybe they'd wander around wondering what was making them
feel so sad and they would never know. Hopefully an alien race
who hugged would come and hug someone so everyone could be happy.
Did you know that the Massively
Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game ( MMORPG) EverQuest II
has a command that you can type in whilep laying the game that
orders a pizza for you? Do you see something wrong with that
or is it just me? I can see the delivery man coming do the door
saying, "Hello, I've got a pizza for Balmor the Dwarf.".-me*hug*
That's very funny! You must spend lots of time thinking and
doing smart things so that your brain always works well. How
does the game know where to order the pizza from? Seems weird
to think of people who pretend to be a dwarf and can't even
leave their place to get food. Hmmm. But now that I think about
it, if my computer could get me pizza, I'd be ordering it every
day! Maybe I should try this game and see if I can get pizzas
sent to 'Herbert the great tail charmer'! I could have a sword!
you have knees Herbert? What about elbows? Or do you not have
any bones at all? That would be cool, You would be very good
at stunts if you had no bones -Stunt Fox
I haven't really thought about it. I bend all sorts of crazy
ways that I just assumed they were elbows and knees like normal
and that maybe I was just talented. I am good at stunts now
that you mention it! I know I could never be as good as you
Stunt Fox, but I bet we could have some good times! You could
show me some simple stunts and then I could put on shows for
my friends and family!
Won't you take me to a funky
Yes! I just got some funky boots and if you just let me go put
them on, we can go! I've been waiting for a long time for someone
Answered by: Herbert
at my bath photos! -
I took a bath on the weekend and now I'm all clean!
possible to have a life that is TOO busy, with too much going
Oh yes BoredBlondChick, some people just have so much they do
that they go crazy and then need to spend a few weeks in a padded
cell before they're ok again. I've seen it happen a few times,
even to sock monkeys. I like to relax and enjoy my life which
is why I like giving hugs. It makes people stop for a moment
and feel good. Awwww, isn't that nice? Rubbing my tail is always
Why do some people have to be
so bitchy to one another? McDiablo
Are people being bitchy to you McDiablo? Bitchy people aren't
fun! I know we aren't happy all the time but when people are
bitchy they should stay at home in their room alone or just
try to not be so bitchy. You just tell me who the bitchy people
are that you're having problems with and I'll give them a good
spanking until they leave you alone!
come I wasn't allowed to wear my headband for my passport picture?
Maybe they thought you had fake hair on the headband to fool
them! No, that's silly. Maybe the person taking the photo wanted
to see your pretty hair? Did they give it back? Maybe they just
wanted the headband for their own greedy needs. I bet that's
it! I bet now they are making one of their own at home using
a kit or something like that. Maybe they have a whole wall of
them because they really like them like how I like shoes. Maybe!
Do you happen to have shampoo
that smells like mint gum? It clears your sinuses, too. McDiablo
That sounds like it'd be nice McDiablo! Too bad I don't have
any though. If I do find some then I will send you some! I want
to go to a store that has lots of types of bubble bath. Walls
with glass shelves to the ceiling filled with all sorts of types,
and they all come with free puffy ball things that you use to
scrub yourself. You and I could go shopping and skip along all
the aisles with baskets!
how do you wank with no hands
I have paws silly! Sometimes I call them hands but mostly they're
paws. I saw a movie where some guy yelled at a fake monkey to
get his paws off him. Maybe it was a cartoon though, sometimes
I get confused. Paws are fun!
One of my friends wants to take
me and one of my other friends to six flags. The problem is
my mom doesn't want me to go. Should I sneak out and go anyway?
Why doesn't she want you going? Maybe there is a good reason
like last time your leg fell off and they had to buy you a fancy
new one that cost a lot of money! Tell your mom the stuff that
will make it ok for you to go so that she doesn't worry or whatever.
If that doesn't work then try hugging her lots until she's so
happy you love her that she let's you go. Sneaking out might
be fun but when you get caught then you won't be able to go
to more cool stuff next time and that's not fun. If you could
make a double of yourself then you could cover for each other
and everything could work out fine! If none of that works, have
your mom take you all to six flags and buy her a funny hat to
wear. Do they have funny hats there?
Have you ever seen the movie
A Clockwork Orange?
No I haven't but I do sort of like clocks so maybe I should.
Clocks are fun to look at but not fun to hear tick when I'm
trying to sleep. Clocks can sometimes be mean and move too slow
or fast. I don't like when they do that.
If I turned into a turtle and
named myself Bauble, would you keep me as your pet? - The Bubble
Sure I would! I'd buy you a big fancy place for you to crawl
around it and even a little pond for you to swim in! Shell warmers
for the cold nights and everything you would want as a turtle.
Do you think you'd want a fish? I could get you one of those
too. Some nice rocks out in the sun for you to lay on. You'd
have to tell me what to feed you though since I don't know what
turtles eat. We'd have lots of fun!
If Angelina Jolie donated her
gorgeous plentiful lips to TheInsaneDomain.com to make an Angelina
Sock Monkey, would you make "Angelina the Sock Monkey" your
sock monkey girlfriend? - The Bubble
If she were really nice then yes I would! We could have lots
of fun going to shop for bubble bath and shoes. I wouldn't stop
answering questions though, so don't worry about that Bubble!
Angelina doesn't need to tear her lips off to sew on a sock
monkey though, I'd be happy with normal lipped sock monkey girlfriend
too. Any girlfriend really.
how long are elephants pregant
I don't know and I don't want to go find out. I don't think
I'd want to see a pregnant elephant. Ok, today I don't want
to see one. Maybe next week. Elephants are not close to where
I am though so you'll have to send me money to fly and see one
to ask it for you.