Answered by: Herbert
what does a sheeps vigina look like
Oh my, that I don't know. Sheep don't like me getting near them.
Normally by the time I catch up with one, the static from both
our fur ends up shocking me horribly and I fall to the ground
screaming. By the time I stop, the sheep has run too far away
for me to catch up. They may seem like nice fluffy things but
they're not really.
if you were scratching your head and you scratched so hard that
you eventually reached your brain and that felt so good you
I would probably have to stop once I scratched through my brain
and then I'd have to hope that Poptart or someone came around
to jam my brains back into my head and stitch me up. Speaking
of stitching up, I've been considering having a vibrator installed
into my tail. Poptart says that he'd support me but JCP is refusing
to even discuss it with me, claiming that it's self mutilation.
What do you all think?
u eat my cheese? do i eat ur cheese? is cheese still here? it
was locked in my basement, but now, i think its escaped! o no!
wat can we do? im very scared!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i dont want cheese
2 take over again!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELP!!!!! the_cheese_is_here
Mmmm cheese! I like to eat cheese. It's yummy and brings warm
feelings to my tummy. Sometimes to my tail and other bits too,
but not as often as other things do that. I found a shoe hidden
under Poptart's bed the other day and I'm sure he put it there
just for me (isn't he nice?) so I've been getting warm feelings
from that a few times a day. I don't mind if cheese takes over.
Imagine cheese shoes. I feel a warm feeling now. Mmmmm.
my friend tate is gay, how can i tell?
Go to a store and buy the 'gay' pee test sticks. If you're a
guy and he's a guy and he let's you hold his dick to pee on
the stick, then he just might be gay! Just so you know, the
test is also for you. If you think the test sticks are too expensive,
you could always just try asking him. Valentines day is Monday,
you could ask him then! Then, to thank me for helping you clear
the air, you can come here and send me messages of love.
you know that you said the word "Fun" 9 times, in the last bunch
of questions? -Hufflebunny
Hi Hufflebunny! I was in such a happy mood while answering I
guess I went a bit crazy with the funs! I had runs of funs!
I hope you had fun reading them. Sometimes I feel like maybe
I don't give good enough answers but I try, I really do! I think
it's nice when people help me out sometimes when I've gotten
answers wrong too. You know, if you came over for dinner Hufflebunny,
I'd want to sit across from you so I could see your face and
we could smile all night at each other. Do you think that would
be fun? I do!
am having some wraunchy burps for about two days now. They are
so bad I want to hold them in so I dont have to taste it. What
Maybe you are eating nasty things! You should come over for
dinner when Hufflebunny does, you can sit beside me. We'll have
good food and then you won't have those nasty burps. If that
doesn't work, I'll sit with you in the waiting room when you
go to the doctor to get that checked out. Does your doctor have
toys in the waiting room? If not I'll bring my own.
all be honest here...Where the fuck is DC? I'm sorry I haven't
visited the site in about a year +, and this is my own fault
and I am ashamed of my self and proabaly deserving a beating
or two, but I came back like the Protocol Son hoping DC would
be here to answer my insane question but instead I have to ask
this replacement monkey named Norbert. A bit outraged, I will
continue on with my question..Is the theory about the Cats taking
over the world still alive? Because I have some interesting
news and I think I was there while they were having one of their
meetings. Do we still have a chance??!--Syko Morgana
Hi Syko Morgana! DC isn't here, and he hasn't been around for
a year. Maybe YOU kidnapped him and this is just your way of
toying with everyone? Oh, well wait, there was this explanation
given, and <looks around for JCP to see if she's paying attention>
he's coming back, but not to answer these questions, they're
MINE now! My name is Herbert, not Norbert (though I like the
name Norbert better). Maybe you and I can be friends someday?
I have heard a bit about the cats taking over so please tell
us if you have any new information. I like cats! They have a
tail like I do! How about I give you a big hug? I think we'd
both like that. Mmmmm hugs.
you a cow
No, I'm a sock monkey. There is a picture of me at the top of
the page. Make sure to look at the tail. Isn't it nice? You
want to touch it don't you? I know you do.
Answered by: Herbert
It's Valentines so I'm taking this chance to tell you all that
I love very much and that I will come to each of your houses
and give you a great big hug and even spend the night with you,
hugging and cuddling and fun stuff like that! Big hugs to everyone!
Where do sock monkeys go when
they die? -Enfante Terrible
I haven't been around any dead sock monkeys yet, so I don't
quite know. What I figure happens is that we're somehow shot
into space where we can find new planets to live on like Deadea.
There would be a way that we'd suddenly become alive again and
we would frolic in the fields and have fuzzy warm things to
hug whenever we wanted!
Did you remember to get rid
of the weapon?--waffle iron
Oh yes, I have hidden it in a shoe in my closet. Not just any
shoe, the blue one that I found out in the street. It was that
night when I had escaped from Poptart's after he had grounded
me for doing naughty things in his shoes. There were some garbage
cans outside the building, and I was about to go through them
when I noticed something wedged in the fence. I went over, and
it was this blue shoe! It was so pretty so I yanked it out of
the fence and we spent the night running around Ottawa and doing
What's in your mouth? --Ferdinand
It's chocolate! I bought some for Poptart (I'm just that nice)
and I had to test one to make sure it's good enough for him.
It wasn't, so I had to destroy them all by eating them. If you
want I can give you a great big kiss and you can taste it too!
Great, now how I am supposed
to get down from here? --Gorey Details
Jump! Jumping is fun! Go on, try it! Everyone! Jump! Jump! Jump!
I can't sleep. Would you read
me a story? Or hit me with a pan? --Steadily Regressing
If you would like, I could tell you a story about someone hitting
you with a pan. Of course, if you want it to be me in the story,
I can do that too. I can even draw pictures for you. Do you
have any crayons? I can't do this without crayons. I'd like
lots of crayons, with all the strange colors they like to call
What's the use? --Jehovah
The use? Of that metal thing I found on the floor the other
day? I have no idea. I tried to bite it, throw it, burn it,
bend it, talk to it, fart on it, cushion it, tape it, yell at
it, rub up against it, lick it and shove it. Nothing! I just
don't know what else to do, so I'm going to throw it out. There
is just no use for it that I can find.
What makes you smile with your
heart? How do you get rid of it? Sorry, that's two but, it won't
go away. Thanks. --Clinical
Smile with my heart, hmm. I don't know! Why would you want to
get rid of it? I think it's great. How about I give you a great
big hug? That should make everything better! If you're still
sad after that, we can go play some PacMan!
Is this the ice cream parlor?
I wish it were! I could wear a fancy hat and serve everyone
their favorite ice cream! Do you want sprinkles? And I'd give
you as many as you wanted! Herbert's Ice Cream Shack, that would
What if the sun is God's asshole?
Then I am thanking God's asshole every time I wake up and feel
it warming my fur! <Giggles> Don't stare into God's asshole,
it will make you blind!
Anyone know the name to the
young woman in the Dentyne commercial who brings home her boyfriend
to meet her parents and then starts getting on with him in front
of them after having a peice of the gum? I think she's really
pretty and can't seem to find out who the acress is anywhere
Who here wants to bet that bk has somehow gotten the commercial
into his/her computer and has watched it in slow motion while
imagining that it's them instead of that boy? If I see the commercial,
maybe I'll want to do that too! Is this commercial on anymore?
Poptart only has a couple of channels on TV so hopefully I can
Does it drive you a little
crazy when people spell things wrong? McDiablo
It makes me crazy when they spell things wrong on purpose! Other
times, well they should check but sometimes it happens. <I'm
all worried that I spelt something wrong now and am driving
you crazy! I'm sorry McDiablo! I'm sorry! I try to spell check
When is it not okay to punch
There are many times McDiablo, like when a poor little sock
monkey is just trying to spell things right. I'm sure that sock
monkeys would never purposefully spell things wrong just to
make you go crazy, that'd be mean! I'm sure not like that McDiablo!
I'll give you big hugs and everything!
There haven't been a
lot of new rules added to the "Insane Questions & Answers" page
in quite some time. Could it be that the people are actually
behaving themselves? McDiablo
Rules? Oh, they're from when DC was answering, I didn't write
them! They are good ones though, and I guess people have been
very good! I didn't know that I could add rules or anything.
Maybe I'll make it a rule that everyone has to give me a hug.
No, that's not fair, some people aren't into hugs, if you can
hey you thingy what for do you
play tail so much smelly thingy? me smell shoes stink shoes
thats what you like huh dummymmm me dumbthathinguywhoisn't
This is very confusing. You're like that other guy but aren't.
I'm going to hide behind McDiablo while she beats you for spelling
things wrong. Whoop his ass McDiablo!
You know, I was thinking about that the other day while I was
playing with that blue shoe I mentioned. After sitting there
for a while feeling all questionable about everything, I thought
that maybe there is no reason until you go out and find yourself
a free shoe stuck in a fence. I mean really, what more do you
need in life? Shoes and hugs. If you need either, you're always
welcome to run away with me somewhere fun bluemonkeyfearer!
Hey pumpkin pants. I
was just wondering..... do you like my watch ?-me *HUG*
<Giggles> Pumpkin pants! I think your watch is super.
Super! I'm so glad you're here to give me hugs!
Hey Herby, what's the strangest
thing you've ever slept in?-me *HUG*
A DVD case. It was really uncomfortable and I woke up only a
few hours later with a horrible headache. I wouldn't do it again,
that's for sure! For every hug, I'll give you two back! Awwww!
Hey, know what I realized ?
I'm not exactly attracted to feeto r shoes, but I do believe
socks are sexy. Don't you think it's hot when your girlfriend
takes off her socks for you?-me*HUG*
Oh wow, a girlfriend that takes her socks off for me?! Mmmmmm,
now I can't think of anything else! If you hug me now, I might
not let go for awhile!
You look tired, would you like
to come in for some lemonade and cookies ?-me*HUG*
For the rest of the day, I hope you don't me clinging to your
leg in a really long hug!
Have you ever tried putting
a rubber glove on your head ? You look silly like some kind
of rubber chicken... thing.-me*hug*
Yes I have! Isn't it fun? I've also put it on my tail! I should
take a picture of me doing that sometime and show you! It's
very funny. I'd show you now but I'm clinging to your leg still.
I don't get much support from
my family or my friends, I could use a self-esteem boost if
you could supply. -me*hug*
I could climb higher up and hug you there? I like you lots!
If you want, I can even go tell your family that you're wonderful
and very huggable. Also, you have lemonade and cookies, how
can they not appreciate that? They don't deserve you! Come run
away with bluemonkeyfearer and I!
Answered by: Herbert
you ever get the urge to dress up as a troll and prance about
in a forest with an axe? -Stunt Fox
Oh yes, I have twice had that urge this week, but it's been
so cold I don't want to freeze my paws off! Plus, Poptart has
been sorta sick this week, so I've been helping him out. Aren't
I nice? Yea, I am. I will just have to wait to prance about
with an axe, will you join me Stunt Fox? I'll be looking for
you to prance with me!
plastic food really food, or is it plastic? Because if plastic
food is really plastic, then it can't really be food, can it?
How can it be both?-bluemonkeyfearer
Sine you people ask me all sorts of questions and sometimes
I'm too dumb to answer them, I'm going to try very hard to learn
more so I can give you better answers. It can't be plastic food
unless you eat it, so it should be called plastic food shapes.
They are plastic, and in the shapes of food. Do you think that
would make things easier for us all? It sure would stop me from
trying to eat those plastic bananas.
do people call things that make you smart brain food? Your brain
cannot physically eat things, and all of this metaphorical nonsense
gives me a headache. Please help me. Hugs from bluemonkeyfearer
I think that it's called that because it's helping your body,
and by you using your brain to make the good choice, it counts
as improving your brain. Good food makes the brain respond better.
In fact, I'm going to do that from now on, as part of my whole
getting smarter thing. I think I'll go get some carrots.
love to go run away with you and Bluemonkeyfearer, but as sad
as it it, I am a blue monkey !!! Don't you think she'll/he'll
shit their pants if I came too close ? Maybe if they could get
over their fear of bluemonkies, then I could go. -me*HUG*
Oh oh, I don't know! What we might have to do is have two houses.
You stay in one, and across the street, bluemonkeyfearer in
the other. I'll run between the two! I'd suggest you dying your
fur, but that's a lot of work and who am I to tell you to change
your fur! Maybe she would be able to handle being near, as you
will promise to be a nice blue monkey won't you? You're not
one of those mean types?
is "cool" ?-me*HUG*
It's a temperature, a state of mind, and a delusion. Wow, three
answers you got there! We're the state of mind cool, you and
me, well, me and me, well you, the one named me. Now I'm all
confused again. Good thing you gave me those hugs so I don't
feel like crying!
did Sockmonkies stick it out in the great depression ? Was it
hard to get jobs and find dressers big enough to live in ?-me*HUG*
Some monkeys were privileged enough to be the friends of rich
kids, growing up in nice big houses. Other less fortunate sock
monkeys would take horrible jobs as chimney sweeps. Well, they
didn't do the sweeping, they were tied to poles and jammed down
into the chimneys and used to clean them. Many got sick and
died. Some lost their tails. I had to do a project about that
back in sock monkey school, it made me sad to know all that
happened to them.
is a petafile?
I looked it up, and it seems that PETA is a group called "People
for the Ethical Treatment of Animals". (Shouldn't their
name be PFTETOA?) I guess if you have a file with them, you
could be one of the animals they want to help, or a person helping,
or a bad person they hate for doing bad things. Either way,
I think I should join, I'm a sock monkey and should be treated
ethically! Same with all other sock monkeys! Actually, what
I should do is set up a "Sock Monkeys for the Ethical Treatment
of Humans" We'll go do nice things and raise money so that
humans can take some training or something so they'll be nicer
to each other.
are all insane inane and answerable only by questions why would
we even be here?thathinguywhois
If I answered with only questions, that would suck! Good thing
I write more than just questions. Maybe you should ask people
on the street to come up with questions, and then send them
in as if they're yours. No one would know!
do bogers come from?
I find them in my nose. Normally I find more if I've been in
a dusty place. I've seen them be green, white, clearish, yellowish
and black! And I think it's boogers, not bogers.
monkeys, other than baboons, have butts?
Oh yes, we all have butts! <Giggles> Butts! Bottoms! Rear
are alot of signs for fast food restaurants around my town,
(you know, the ones where you can arrange the letters..) and
they always put letters like "N" and "S" backwards, and most
of the time, the "And sign" (&) Why can't people take their
time and actually think about what they're posting? is it because
people who lack education end up working at fast food restaurants?
This took a bit to find out, but apparently it's done to encourage
the 'dumbing down' of their customers. By encouraging you to
be dumb, you will continue to make bad eating choices and eat
there, as well as not think about how they're insulting your
intelligence by spelling things wrong. Kids go to school thinking
it's spelt correctly and they look dumb, and then yes, end up
working at those places being treated like shit for the rest
of their lives. Also, marketing people are stupid and think
that if they do this, they are creating a 'brand'. What kind
of company pays people to spell words wrong and put letters
backwards! The more I find out, the more it all doesn't make
sense. Donate to "Sock Monkeys for the Ethical Treatment
of Humans" and help fight this! Also, go in and ask the
manager why this is, or write the companies headquarters and
ask why they're insulting your intelligence. I wonder if you'd
get a response, and if it would make any sort of sense.
it okay to drop Extacy And be on an antidepressant (prozac)
Dropping ecstasy is a dumb thing to do even if you aren't on
r some ways to masterbait
Well when I looked up, it said it was a "REDNECK STRIP
MALL - SELLING BEER, BAIT AND AMMO". I'm not sure what
a redneck is though. I have seen some humans with red necks
from being outside all day or wearing itchy wool sweaters. Why
would they need ammo? The site was ugly and scary.
was walking down Bothel street the other day and I noticed a
cloud was following behind me. I ran and cut the corner of the
street, whilst bumping and knocking an eighty-some-odd year
old lady to the ground. Anyway, the cloud continued to follow
me and I even began to hear it whisp. Then the unimaginable
happened. The cloud began pouring nachos. At first I liked it,
eating nachos and all. But then my stomach began to growl and
I could feel the up-chuck rising. So I decided to give the intense
tacho extravaganza a quit. At this point the cloud began furiously
hurling nachos at me, at about 150+mph, it hurt and I got nacho
burn. I ran inside and locked my door. The next day I woke up,
stepped outside and noticed my house was now a large taco. Attached
was a post-it that read; "you deserved it, sistergirl" I am
a male, by the way. Please, how do I mend my relationship with
the angry mexican cuisine cloud? Sincerely, Sincere human being
who wrote this
Isn't it obvious? The old lady you knocked to the ground was
Gramma Nacho! The nacho clouds love her and when you bumped
into her and she fell, they became enraged and attacked you
the only way they know how! I would go apologize and put in
some community hours helping out Gramma Nacho in the hopes that
the nacho clouds will forgive you and only give you enough nachos
to enjoy properly.
you think I should one day let Emerald drive the car? McDiablo
Sure! I'd bet she'd be cautious and a good driver! Well, ok
she wouldn't be able to reach the pedals, but maybe you could
rig something up for her? Or get one of those special cars made
for the tiny humans. Maybe she'd like a clown car when you and
all your friends can fit in it and then pile out. That'd be
you like burning things? McDiablo
Well I did when I was a younger monkey, but I'm not allowed
near fire now. It can be a nasty thing sometimes. Fire is fun
to watch though. I like watching campfires. They smell good
is something you'd like to purchase right now? McDiablo
Hmmm. I'd like a large fluffy pillow to sleep on that would
fit in my closet, as well as some warm socks for my feet and
tail. I'd also like some nachos, as I've
been thinking about them ever since that nacho cloud question.
Answered by: Herbert
Hello Lord Herbert of
Monkeyshire, how are you this fine day? If women like salt,
and like to put salt on fries, and if jism tastes like salt,
why dont women like to eat jism? Or for that matter why won't
women let me cum on their fries before they eat them? Superman
Monkeyshire! That's funny, I like that. I am ok this fine day,
but it's not that fine. It's sorta gloomy outside and that makes
me feel less fine. I don't know that all women like salt, and
I know lots of men that love salt too. Does that mean all of
them have to like the taste of jism too? Maybe if you dried
it out and made it available in grain form that people would
try it. You could market it, do blind taste tests and everything.
Just don't be sexist, make sure you ask men and women to try.
Have you tried eating your own jism on fries? You really should
just to make sure it's good.
What is the difference between
a smelly tail and a tail that smells? Superman Dave. xxxxxxxxxxxxx
A smelly tail is one that doesn't have a good smell, and one
that smells doesn't stink, just smell. That makes sense to me
in my shoe-loving world, I hope it makes sense to you too Dave!
Have you been away for awhile? Maybe I'm hung-over but I don't
remember you being here lately. Come here and I'll sit in your
lap. You can tell me all about your adventures while you were
do you like marilyn manson
He's the tall scary guy right? Sure I like him. He looks like
someone I could do a lot of fun things with. Also, he's always
got on wonderful shoes and boots. Big shiny boots! Mmmmm. I
wonder if he'd let me hang out in his boots for awhile. I bet
he would, and I bet he'd want to watch! That's why I like him.
what does a vigina look like
I knew a Virginia back in sock monkey school. She had long pretty
brown hair, poofy bangs, soft pretty tail and these hoop earrings
that would jiggle around when she'd laugh. I'd follow her around
but I don't know if she noticed me or not. Every time I'd go
to talk to her, I'd get all sweaty and have to run away.
What causes that lovely smell
in the air durin autumn? Is it all the dying plants and leaves
Hmm, you could be right! My favorite smell in the autumn is
campfires. That's the time they smell the best! You can be outside
and be just warm enough with that fire so you can stay outside.
Next autumn, you and I will make ourselves a campfire and enjoy
the smell outside for a weekend.
what is a true lava lamp made
Lava (comes in different colors) and water (also in different
colors) are put in a jar and come with a base that lights it
up. Now you can make your own! Be careful collecting that lava
though. I've heard that volcanos can explode!
Where do sock monkeys
go to school? McDiablo
We go to Sock Monkey School. I've sent JCP emails about putting
some lessons online so that we can all be better sock monkeys!
She's told me that if I get to work writing those up, she'll
put them online. The best part of sock monkey school was the
juice boxes they'd give us. I wish I had some of those right
You seem like a friendly guy,
but have you ever just lost your temper and lashed out at someone?
Aw thanks McDiablo, I try to be friendly. Yes there have been
a few times I've lashed out at someone and sometimes I feel
bad afterwards. Other times I think they deserved it and I keep
plotting revenge for awhile. When we were younger, DC and I
used to get into huge fights all the time. Then again, who really
gets along with their brothers/sisters all the time? I'd never
lash out at you McDiablo, you'd kick my ass!
why is it that you ar
such english spelling and grammar geeks? I am personally surprised
that the restrictive language restraints that have so far been
imposed on us by the acaedemic politcal machine were definetly
Oh Thathinguywhois, why bother talking if people can't understand
you? Seems silly to go to the effort of writing/saying something
if you're just going to make it difficult to understand.
Are you really just DC on drugs?
No. And who's to say that he wasn't on drugs before when answering
questions? Maybe he's in rehab recovering from his addictions
and struggling to come to terms with how he's fucked up his
life and that his little brother is just so much better than
him and that's what he gets for being a jerk to me. Maybe he's
just a worn out junkie monkey.
Is this a cult? --Mother
Sure! Come on in Mother and become one of us! We'll make you
a fancy sock monkey outfit out of pajamas and then we can dance
all night! What fun we'll have!
You're so nice it hurts my feelings.
Why are you doing this to me? --Special Victim
I'm sorry Special Victim. If you tell me each time you send
in a question to be mean to you, then maybe I won't, just to
be mean! Come here and I'll give you a big hug. You just need
to allow yourself to experience warmth and friendship. It's
ok, you can let go with me, I'll be your friend.
How did you get to be such a
slut? --Just Wondering
I'm not! I'm just friendly and cuddly! <Giggles>
Are you easily provoked? --DMIV
Provoked to hugs? Oh yes. I'm easily provoked to that sort of
thing! I just like hugging, it brings people close to me and
makes me feel all warm.
What's the best way to burst
somebody's bubble? --Eyeball
That's sort of a mean thing to do but I guess the best way is
to tell them the truth in a way that negates whatever it is
they're happy about. I don't think I'd want to do that unless
it was to someone mean who deserved that sort of thing. Then
I would also go bitchslap them, and it would make them cry.
What is your vision of The Apocalypse?
The sun gets real big and swallows the planets close to it,
including this one. It's a long time in the future. Can you
imagine that? The earth, gone. Makes you wonder if humans will
still be around then, or be long since gone. If none exist,
and everything goes into the sun, there will be nothing of humans
left. It will be like nothing ever happened.
Can I break your crayons for
you? --Crayon Breaker
If you break my crayons, then I will have twice as many! Thank
you Crayon Breaker!
why do we have to let air out
from tyres before a long journy
What? I don't think I've heard of that. I've given it some thought
and I think that maybe it's because the air in the tires will
heat up during the long journey and that would make it expand.
If you drove too long and the air in there heated up enough,
maybe your tyre would pop.
Well, I promise I will be a
nice blue monkey. I'm full of marshmellows and huggles, not
meanness and bad. Do you think BMF will believe me, or must
I prove myself ?-me*HUG*
Ohhh I'd like to see you prove yourself! I bet you can do amazing
things! Bluemonkeyfearer and I could watch you do amazing things
and then when we are fully amazed we will hug you and we can
all go for some pizza! What times we'll have! I'm already on
your side, but I'm sure this will win her over.
I love pretzels. Did
you know that ?-me*HUG*
No I didn't know that, and I like them too! We can get a hug
bag of them and eat them for days! Do you ever just chomp them
up and then breath out and all the bits come flying out of your
mouth?! That's fun!
I quit my job, do you think they'll let em keep this awesome
name tag ? -me*HUG*
Leave it at home the day you quit and if they ask for it, claim
you've already snipped it in half due to your rage. If they
demand it, melt up some plastic or whatever it was and send
it to them and they'll be fooled into thinking it was your name
tag. Then, you and the tag can be together forever!
Answered by: Herbert
is your rectum, do you have any and what colour are your faeces?
My rectum is where my bum is! Silly, where is yours? Faeces?
You mean my shit? Well it changes depending on what I've eaten.
Don't you find that happens to you too? The weirdest thing is
when I eat corn, it comes out just like I ate it! It's all yellow
and everything, so maybe sock monkey bodies don't digest corn?
I think that's got to be it, otherwise that's just scary.
Herbert! I've made a lovely wallpaper and I just want you and
everyone else to know that I will WIN. When I win, will you
come over to my house and give me the prize in person? Also
I think that you should bring me food of some sort. NONE OF
YOU LOSERS ARE INVITED, just Herbert. - Winner of Contests
Hello Winner! I won't give you the prize in person, unless it's
the best wallpaper EVER! Those spooky monkeys are funny, I wanted
to enter my own wallpaper but JCP said that I couldn't, as I
am a member here and will be judging them as well. If you wanted
to buy my vote, well I'm sure I wouldn't say no to a nice shiny
shoe or two. I hope I get to see a lot of them, looking at pictures
you burp the entire english alphabet?-hufflebunny
I've never even tried to do that! Wow, you should plan parties,
you're just full of fun ideas! Hufflebunny's Party Planning!
I'd hire you for my parties, well, when I start having them
I'd hire you! I'd also invite you!
will happen if you put the "this side up" side face down while
popping popcorn in the microwave? -hufflebunny
I tried that once and it burst into flames and then the microwave
blew up too. It was awful and I had to run far, far away. Eventually
they found me though and spanked my bottom until it was a most
unfun sore. Since then I do exactly what those packets tell
you ever watched a funny part of a movie then rewound it and
watched it over and over until it lost its amusement?-Hufflebunny
Oh yes! I've done that several times. Before there were DVDs,
I actually broke a few videos doing that. I don't remember what
movie it was, but there was a scene where a car was racing down
an ally. Well some guy was walking his poodle, and yanks back
on the leash, causing the poodle to fly up into the air and
then into the guys arms. At the same time, the dog gives a yelp.
It was so funny I watched it over and over. Zoom! Yank! Yelp!
Rewind! After about a week (and two videos later) it got a bit
was Captian Hook's name before he had a hook for a hand? Was
it george? or maybe it could have even been Herbert!-Hufflebunny
Do we know he changed his last name to be Hook after the accident?
Maybe it's just one of those weird things that happen and his
last name just happen to be Hook. I never thought it was his
first name. Maybe he IS a Herbert Hook!
many friends are you all in total? I've followed this site since
1998.Soo many years..Hey herb,id like to know who your favorite
bands/mucisians are? -Enuch provocateur
How many friends? Well there is an about
page right here to show you everyone involved! Since 1998,
wow! That's much longer than me! I like lots of music. I used
to really like Madonna but then she got all weird. I might try
hearing more of her stuff but those cowboy boots really scared
me. I like happy music that I can bounce around to. I hope you
keep coming back here Enuch!
you ever tried to fly? If so could you tell me the story of
herbert the flying monkey? -Stunt Fox
Well once I tried to fly off the roof of a building, but it
didn't go so well. I think what I'm going to do is try to make
some wings. I figure they can be made out of pantyhose and wire.
Will you help me bend the wire so the pantyhose will fit over
it? I can't seem to get it to bend properly. I'm sure that you,
being a Stunt Fox, would be able to help me, and maybe give
me some pointers as to tricks I can do while flying.
did sanimal go i sorta miss him. He looked like you. cynus was
annoying.-by ennuch provocateur
SAnimal? Oh yea, the mean one. He's gone, and I don't know where
he is. People should never leave here should they? Oh, well
I guess if DC hadn't left I wouldn't be here, but besides that,
everyone else should stay forever!
don't people look at me when I have a monkey on my back? Her
name is Georgette, and she has a "Drug Addiction" sign around
her neck, but no one but me can seem to see her... why? - SkyofStLuke
Wow, how did you get her to stay on your back! I wish I had
a monkey on my back. Maybe she's a special monkey that only
wants you to see her. Does the sign change? Maybe she's trying
to tell you something, that you need to either get a drug addiction
or fight one. Since sock monkeys are usually nice, I bet she's
trying to help you. Talk to her and figure out how to beat it
and maybe she'll make new signs for you to read!
it says it's the last month for what if's. Are they going away
forever? I don't want them to go away. I'll take the job writing
the What Ifs. *Sobs* I'm so sad now. Are they ever going to
It seems that yes, the What If's are going away forever. I've
read that one What If question will be added to the normal Questionnaire,
so it's not lost forever! I think you should write other stuff
for this site though! I bet you have a lot of fun things to
write articles about, do you think you'd do that?! I'd vouch
for you! Go here and tell JCP
that I sent you and that you can write stuff!
is the ideal opposite
Ideal opposite of what? Did you die halfway through typing this?
It doesn't look like a finished question.
would you do if, while you were walking along, I drove up to
you, slowed down and began honking my horn screaming "GET IN
THE CAR, HOOKER!!!"? - Mzebonga
Wow Mzebonga! I'd be so happy that I'd jump in the car right
away! I know you love those role-playing games and hell ya I'll
be your hooker for the night. Do you want me to wear that outfit
you sent me last month? I tried it all on and the genital cuffs
are a bit snug, but I'm sure they'd fit you just fine. Wait
a minute, you don't drive! I remember that because I laughed
at you! Will you be in your bike? It'd have a bell though, and
that's pretty hot. Yea, I'll still jump in the basket, just
for you Mzebonga.
is a cloud taking so long to ask me out? -horse
Hi horse! What I think you should do is ask the cloud out! I
know you can do it, you just have to be nice and friendly and
make sure you smile! Smiles always make people feel better.
Also, because you asked the cloud out, it might just be so happy
it gives you a hug! You can't beat a hug from a cloud, that's
for sure. I hope it works out for you.
Your question isn't really fun chaos_zero. Boo!
Answered by: Herbert
so dc is gone forever?
Forever? Sigh, no. Sadly enough, I hear he will be returning
at some point to write articles and stories. I think that if
I start a letter writing campaign to prevent his return. I hope
I can count on all of you to support me.
how are chiken nuggets made
Well they hack up chickens, remove all the meat, and whatever
else is left they grind up and jam into little clumps they call
'nuggets'. At least that's what I've been told. I used to think
that they were what chickens shit out and people just called
it 'nuggets'. Later on someone told me that no, it's a type
of food, and it can be eaten with dipping sauce. I wonder how
good beaks taste with BBQ? Probably pretty good. I'll have to
go try some.
You are from Canada? Do you
live in an Igloo? -DingoDonna
Hi DingoDonna! Yes I am from Canada, in fact I live in the capital!
No I don't live in an igloo, though that might be fun! I did
see one once but it was a display, not one I could move into.
It would have been nice if they had put up a sign saying so
too instead of beating me with icicles and dragging me out!
I've heard that somewhere they build an entire hotel out of
See, now I'm shocked. I don't
know how those genital cuffs fit you for two reasons: Firstly,
you're a guy Sock Monkey and I sent them for JCP and, secondly,
you actually have no evident genitals. So, just how did you
fit them? - Mzebonga
You may try to lie on here and say that Mzebonga, but the package
was addressed to ME! I put them on my tail but it didn't work
so well. I know you CLAIM that you would rather go after JCP,
seeing that she is female, but we both know that you prefer
male monkeys. I saw you had posted to DC a lot, and I bet you
two were happy little bed friends until he decided to ditch
you. Well I'm here for you Mzebonga, I won't hurt you like he
did. I'm much more cuddly and everything. Just open yourself
up to Mzebonga, and relax so it doesn't hurt so much.
If I had a spork factory, would
you buy my sporks?-bluemonkeyfearer
Oh yes! And I'd tell JCP to order some TheInsaneDomain.com sporks
to give out on the site! That would be wonderful! I'd be so
happy to buy sporks from you bluemonkeyfearer!
How many toothpicks does it
take to bribe the African cheif of the Xagawa tribe to let me
have his chair ? -me*hug*
Well, I'd guess at least 2000 of them. Bring extras just in
case, but don't let him see them. If he knows you have more,
he'll keep wanting more until he's got ALL the toothpicks.
one day I fell out of the sky
and began to be consumed by little creatures called "microbes"
and next thing I knew all of these mammals called monkeys had
evolved into "humans" and had infected the planet
and were in the middle of dismantling it on a suicidal urge
to do something. i hate being trapped in anarctic ice for millenia
Oh yes, that's so upsetting when that happens! Also, think of
all the things you've missed like lunch with friends! You can't
put a price on missing those sorts of things, no matter what
sort of fancy things the monkeys come up with. And they're not
sock monkeys either! They're a whole different type completely.
If you want, you can help me build our own little hut to forever
hide from everything we don't want to see!
Interrupting cow, MOO !-me*hug*
Hi interrupting cow! I saw you at the side of the road a few
months ago! I haven't see you recently, but then again it's
been cold. I hope you are staying warm in a huge barn somewhere.
Can I visit your farm? That'd be fun!
Why are all these singers going
on about how people start rumors or won't give them any privacy?
They WANTED and worked to becomes stars. do you think they should
shut up and stop complaining? -Hufflebunny
That's right Hufflebunny, but some people in the public just
go too far and that sorta thing has to be stopped! I mean, they
should hire me to keep others away, and that way it's just ME
staring at them as they undress and stuff like that.
Why can't people take a hint?
When i'm on msn with my status set to away and people start
going "Helllllo? are you there? answer me!" Why can't
these people see i'm busy, away or i just don't want to talk
to them? -Hufflebunny
They're being rude! Maybe you should put 'GO AWAY I'M NOT HERE
DUMMYS!' Does MSN have a feature to make it so they don't see
you online at all? That might work best for you.
Why do all my friends call me
a hooker? BoredBlondChick5
Well, unless you're sleeping with people for money (or other
things) then I'd have to say they're just being mean and they're
not your friends at all! You can come hang out with me BoredBlondChick5.
I won't call you names unless you want me to. If you want, you
can touch my tail until you feel better too.
What is it really like in canada?
Is there lots of snow and mooses and guys in red uniforms? -Stunt
Well there has been snow lately, but it's winter! Normally there
is no snow where I am and I have never seen a moose! I'd probably
piss myself with fear if I did, I heard they're huge! There
are guys in red uniforms, but not very often. Normally when
they are around, there are also banners and other things going
on and I get over stimulated and sort of twitch on the ground
for awhile. But it's in a good way, so I'm not complaining Stunt
Fox! You should come join me up here sometime when it's not
winter and we can twitch together.
Do you think Snow Demons controll
the amount of snow we get in the winter? Like when nobody gives
sacrafice or nobody worships them, they grow angry and don't
give anyone snow? Just an Idea from 'Calvin and Hobbs'. -me*HUG*
Oh no, what if that is true! But why must snow be evil? It's
not! It makes everything fun to look at, gives trees a chance
to rest, and then in the spring it melts and we get lots of
mud! But just in case, let's sacrifice a few snowmen. I'll get
a bucket of hot water! Then again, our own pee would work, as
that's warm! And if we get any on ourselves, it's ok because
pee is sterile!
What would you do if I started
talking backwards ?-me*HUG*
I wouldn't like that very much, it would take a lot of time
for me to figure out what you were saying! Please don't start
confusing me, me. Your name already is confusing, I don't need
Do you think my brother is ACTUALLY
Satan himself ? Every night he talks in he sleep, but he speaks
in tongues. So every night I hear, " Rue Garaaag Slophamaatt
Jee OrgUUn Daam ! ". It really creeps me out and I'm begining
to suspect that is in fact the Devil. Who else speaks that kind
of language? -me *HUG*
He's been secretly worshipping Jabba the Hut! Time to drag his
Star Wars loving butt out of bed and slap him silly! Tell him
he's NOT a Jabba and he'll never have Lea in that wonderful
little outfit while tied to him. I've tried and it just doesn't
happen! I know it's sad but he need to snap out of it before
he tries to gain 500 pounds!
Is there a difference between
madness and insanity?-me*HUG*
I think so, isn't there? Maybe there isn't, maybe they're different
words for the same thing? I just don't know!
When do houseflys die
They die when they get too old, starve, get swatted by people,
eaten by cats, trapped in plastic bags, sprayed with bug spray,
caught by spiders in webs, hit with papers by random flying
papers, and by flinging themselves into hot lightbulbs.
Wait a minute... Are you guys
taking AWAY the what if section ? :o -hufflebunny
I'm not doing anything! Don't blame me hufflebunny! JCP said
she was taking away the what if section and putting one what
if question in the questionnaire! So make sure when you send
hate mail that it's not to me! I didn't do it!!!
Where can I find a Frank the
Bunny "from the movie Donnie Darko" Skin for the sims?
I have no idea! You should do a search on Google or something
to find out. I don't play with the Sims, they don't make out
with each other very much or anything fun and everything takes
so much time.
What does juice have to do with
African War Beads ???-me*HUG*
Wow, I have no idea! Maybe if you froze the beads they'd work
better than ice? No, you'd end up swallowing them. I don't see
any reason why juice would be connected with African War Beads!
why are sixth graders geting
shorter every year i mean its like walking with midgits if one
leans over to pick up a pincel i mean i could SQUASH them i
walk around looking down becous i am afraid of steping on one
and not knowing it. it is sereiusley creeping me out ~Ishkabilly
I'm not sure what size sixth graders are supposed to be, but
maybe it's you who is getting bigger AND you need to escape
the little kids. Maybe their parents are feeding them food that
does that? I would think that smaller kids means more room.
Maybe you can get them all to stay in the closet and you could
have the whole room to yourself! Imagine that, all the crayons
would be yours! I'd hope you would let me come over and color
with you though. I'll be good and I promise I won't let you
step on me and feel bad!
Answered by: Herbert
why does a root beer candy wrapper
smell like a skunk
I haven't had a chance to smell one of those, will you send
me some? I think it'd be great to be mailed candy, and toys
even! If you left your address, I just might send you a thank
you card or package of my own!
I was looking at the
answer you gave me about the people on MSN who can't take a
hint, and I had really bad deja vu. Do you think I had already
asked a question like that? -Hufflebunny Also, I'm sorry if
you thought I was blaming you about the What If section, i wasn't
blaming you :) -hugs -
Maybe you did Hufflebunny! I'd go look, but then I'd get all
distracted from answering the rest of the questions here! Thanks
for the hugs! It's ok if you have asked similar questions, at
least you're not doing it on purpose! If you sent in that question
every day and forgot, then I'd have to come over to your house
and help you get better by rubbing your head with my tail.
What is the purpose of leg hair,
if people just shave it off?-Hufflebunny
I don't shave mine off! If I did, I'd keep it all and maybe
send some of it to my friends. Leg hair is good for putting
mud on and having it stick. It also makes for some great scabs
when you fall on pavement and it rips out! If someone is being
mean, you can even pull on it and make them yell! One time I
hid under the couch and did that to my dad. He yelled at me
but it was funny.
The Insane Domain has been online
for almost 9 and a half years. How many of those years have
you graced us with your wonderful presence? -Hufflebunny =)
Wow, that's a long time! I've only been here for a few years!
9 and a half years, that's older than me! I wonder if there
will be a 10th year party! That'd be tons of fun! Will you hold
a party too and send me photos? Better yet, we could have a
huge party and everyone can come and celebrate together! We
could wear sock monkey porn shirts and everything! Will you
come to the party with me Hufflebunny? I'd like balloons, I'd
bet they'd be red and black! Think of all the fun party stuff
that we could go get! There would have to be cake too, a party
isn't a party without a cake!
Why is it that on PEI, they
sell canned juice and whatnot, but they don't sell canned pop?
It doesn't make sense to me. -Hufflebunny
Canned pop? You mean they only have the bottles there? Bottles
are more fun anyway, as you can seal them up tight! You're in
PEI? That's not too far, you should be able to come to the party
next year and I'll make sure there is tons of both bottles and
canned pop for you!
Is it possible to finish the
dancing sock monkey Choose-your-own-adventure story? I just
couldn't seem to finish it. -Hufflebunny
Oh yes there is. It took me a few times to finally get it, but
I did! Well ok, it took me a number of months before I started
crying and begged to be told. No one would tell me so it took
another 2 months to get it, but I did! You're way smarter than
me, so I'm sure you'll get much quicker than I did.
What happened to Qbryzan? He
was sick and twisted and highly desirable. – PRchick
I don't know who that is. Are you sure you haven't gone crazy?
Then again, maybe he is from before I came to the site. I can
be twisted and highly desirable too! Just give me a chance,
I'll prove it!
do realize that since dc left this site has been pretty much
just shit, right?
Just because you were in love with DC doesn't mean that you
have to be mean to the rest of us. I think JCP would be really
sad to hear you call the site shit, and I think my answers are
a billion times better than stupid DC. He was all bitter and
giving stupid short answers. I think that you are pretty much
shit, and you should go away as you obviously don't see how
wonderful I am, and how nice the site is without DC.
i have been visiting and writing
questions everyday for the past 4 months, but neither have my
questions been answered, nor insanity resumed. please tell me,
am i a lost cause? South West Suicide.
Are you sure you're sending them in right? Unless you're the
stupid person who keeps wanting ways to 'masterbait'. I already
answered that question so I'm not going to keep answering it,
just read the answer I gave the first time and stop bugging
me! If not, well you need to hit the SEND button!
If Jesus is the answer,
then what was the question? -Realmo-K
I've never been very good at that game. I used to watch that
sort of thing on tv with the wall of TVs but I just couldn't
get it. I don't want the answer and then guess that question,
that's too hard! Have you ever seen sock monkeys on that show?
No, and not just because that guy is scary. I'm sorry, I'm just
not clever enough Realmo-K.
why the hell do you love me
so much? - boo
Me sends in all sorts of hugs and fun questions! How could I
not love me? I know you might be sad and jealous, but don't
be! I can love you and your questions too if you just send in
some nice ones and give me hugs or other things!
where did amy go? did
she die? did she disappear? IS SHE BEING HELD CAPTIVE IN YOUR
BED!? - boo
I would never hold anyone captive in my bed! Boo, why would
you think I'd do such a thing! I hope she hasn't disappeared,
that'd be scary! Maybe she's across the street watching you
to see what you do when she's gone? Maybe you do strange things,
and if you do, can I watch you too?
if I molest small furry
stuffed pikacu dolls does that make me evil?thathinguywhois
What are pikacu dolls? I don't have those, I think you should
send me one to molest too! Go on thathinguywhois, I know you
want to send me presents! I don't get presents very often, and
I try so hard to be a good sock monkey. Will you send me dolls
to molest? I'll have pictures taken and everything just to show
you how much I enjoy it!
Do you support the game "Spank
the Monkey"? If so why? Thank you for answering! *hug*- BoredBlondChick
Oh yes, I like a good spanking! Not all monkeys do though so
make sure you ask first! It's just mean to spank monkeys that
don't like it or don't deserve it. If you want, you can come
over here and spank me. I will tell you I've been a naughty
monkey and then you can start!
Look! The Alien worm
thing is crawling inside his throat!! They're invading arent
they herbert? -Stunt Fox
I think they are! Lots of things are invading! I would like
an alien worm, I could keep it in a jar and call it Melvin.
Melvin and I would travel the world, him in his jar and me in
my fancy traveling shoes. I could even come watch you do stunts!
That'd be a lot of fun for me and the alien worm, I bet it's
never seen a fox perform stunts before.
Um er, um excuse me sir but
could you kindly mention to jcp that theres is an error regarding
the photos in the what-if results from last month.. I've noticed
this for quite awhile and have refreshed the page at least 20
times a day waiting it to be fixed but to no avail ...er...
I wouldnt want her to be disrupted by any means and I will send
her chocolate bees in apology, I respect all the work she does...
and and plesae dont let her be mad,,,,,,,,, please... -Tumble
Poor JCP. She tries so hard and then people just sit and wait
for her to notice things instead of being nice and telling her!
She doesn't like me much, but she is nice and isn't mean to
those who try to help her without rubbing rubbing themselves
on her feet. She wouldn't be mad if you just tell her nicely!
There is a form for that stuff too! Here
it is. As for the chocolate bees, I'd like them! I like
chocolate way more than she does! I wonder if you'd eat it and
the honey from in the bees would mix with the chocolate. Now
I'm all hungry!
Holy smokes, my soccer team
won a game today. What happened that made us suddenly do that?
I bet it's because you're a great player and Emerald was cheering
you on! Have you two been practicing? Has your whole team? I
bet that it was special slurpees of pure sugar that did it!
Did you get awards and everything too? Wait a minute, it's cold
outside, are you playing in the snow? Maybe you have fancy indoor
places to play in, I've seen that before. I'd come watch you
play McDiablo! I'd cheer you on!
Have you ever wanted to learn
another language? If so, which one? McDiablo
Oh yes! I'd like to learn other languages, any of them! I guess
if I had to pick one, I'd learn French. Things sound so impressive
in French. And sexy. Sexy and impressive. That's something I
need to learn so I can go impress everyone and make them feel
all special when I spoke to them. Could I impress you with my
French McDiablo? I'd still answer questions in English though,
French isn't as lovely when it's written down.
Where do houseflys live? From
Bla bla Bla
They live in houses silly! Barn flies live in barns, apartment
flies live in apartments and so on! If a housefly goes outside,
then it's an outhouse fly and needs to find an outhouse to live
Can you juggle? I've always
wanted to see amonkey juggle !-me*HUG*
I've tried but it all ends up a mess on the floor! I'm not sure
how it's done, it looks so easy but it's not! Why?! I tried
for a few hours once and it just didn't work! If you sent me
to juggling classes, then I'd be able to juggle for you for
Hey, I've realized that my questions
aren't pathetic anymore ! Ever since DC stopped answering questions,
the "Send your pathetic question" bar was changed to "Send you
question". Are my questions seriously not pathetic, or are you
just telling us that?-me*HUG*
I think your questions are great! See, DC was so crusty and
mean he thought everyone's questions were going to suck. Doesn't
that show everyone how much better I am!? You and I make a good
team me, we should join forces somehow and take over some place
of fun! We could have cotton candy and prizes!