Feb 1/05
Answered by: Herbert

Why do my farts always consist of wetness?
Smelly wetness? <Giggle> Anal leakage? <Giggles> You're making my tummy hurt with laughter! I say you get some duct tape and fix that problem forever!

Are towels really sexual? How do people know these things??
Really sexual? No they're not. They are good for cleaning up sexual messes though. And preventing them. Wow, towels sure are useful aren't they! I should go get one of my very own and bring it everywhere I go. That'd be fun.

Hey Herby, not that I have anything against you homeboy, but is my ol' chum DC ever comming back ?-me * hug* ( and yes, he really wa my "chum")
Sigh. I hate to disappoint you <sad face> but this insane question and answer section is mine for awhile. But yes, he will be contributing again soon. <Throws self at your feet.> Please don't stop coming to this section! Please! I'll be the best sock monkey ever! You love me right? Right?!? RIGHT???? <SOBS>

Can you summerize the book, "To Kill a Mocking Bird" ?-me *HUG*
No I can't, I've never read it! Send me a copy and I'll read it and tell you all about it and we could even go for coffee or something. What do you think? I think it'd be great and we could tell everyone we're friends and they'll be jealous that we're so popular and they aren't.

What would you do with the following : A pound of marijuana, an offroad SUV, a map, a dolphin, a lost south american, a parat, 50,000 dollars, and a cupon for 300 bags of UTZ products ? Might I also mention it's a Friday. -me*HUG*
I'd dance with glee! Yes, GLEE! I'd have a great weekend, that is for sure! I'm almost jumping around just thinking

Why does Instant Jell-O take hours to cool ?-me *HUG*
It does? I've never made it before. Why would they lie and say it's instant when it's not? That's an outright lie and you should do something about it! I don't know what you should do about it, but something. SOMETHING!

no more giant squirrels then ok, um do you think that when you masterbait that you will catch fish?thathinguywhois
You're very confusing thathinguywhois. It's like words fall out of the sky and somehow form your questions. Do they do that? It's the only thing that really makes any sort of sense really. Unless you're playing with your tail as you type, and then you get all distracted. I do that too sometimes, so I guess it's ok.

If all the ants died, what would happen to the ant eaters? -monkeeskittles
They would be forced to start eating flies and other bugs. I wonder if maybe they'd find out that other bugs taste much better than ants. Then, even if ants did come back, they wouldn't want to eat them anymore. They'd have to petition to get their names changed too. I wonder who would be sent a petition to do this? Who has that power to rename animals?

Do you like music? if so, what is your favorite genre? -monkeeskittles
Yes I think music is fun! I don't know what genre I like, I like lots of music! Will you dance with me monkeeskittles? We can wear fancy outfits and everything as we dance around and make all the neighbors jealous. Then we'll laugh and fall on the ground and laugh some more!

I recently cleaned my closet out. it's such a nice closet. Would you like to come live in it? I won't treat you bad and I'll rub your tail every few minutes.-monkeeskittles
Oh monkeeskittles! I would LOVE to move in with you! Where do you live, do I need a passport and shots? That would be great, I think Poptart is tired of having me around. I've tried to help out and stuff but it seems that he is starting to really hate me. If I live with you, I promise I'll be wonderful and do whatever you tell me!

Is the thing at the top of the main page where it says theinsanedomain.com a fingerprint? I haven't been coming here a lot recently(I'm sorry and I'll try to do better), and everytime I come, I notice that the picture is changing. Is JCP doing it to confuse us all or is it doing it magically?-monkeeskittles
It's a drawing JCP did and then took a picture of. Yes she is changing that picture, I had to ask too so don't feel silly for thinking it was magic! I like this new one and don't want it to go away. I wonder if I beg her not to change it anymore if she'll listen. What do you think? And thank you for coming back, I'll even give you a hug so you come back even more!

Am I crazy or just a little unwell? -Hufflebunny Sorry for the bad question, I seem to be having a dry spell
It's ok Hufflebunny, you're just a bit tired, that's all. How about you and I go for some tea or hot chocolate or something warm and yummy? We can just talk and stuff and maybe cuddle just a little bit. Then we'll feel all creative and everything will be well again.

While looking at Grad pictures on the walls, I came across a picture of a lady with hair that took up her whole picture. Do you think when she was in school, she was forced to sit in the back row so her hair wouldn't be in the way of the students behind her? -Hufflebunny
I would hope so, or the kids behind her wouldn't learn anything and stupid people aren't fun. Well, ok they're lots of fun but I wanted to encourage you to stay in school and be smart. That way, when we go see a movie together, I can ask you to explain what is going on and you'll be super smart and able to tell me in a way I understand. You're just nice like that Hufflebunny!

While looking at grad pictures, I also came across a lady with the name of "Dorcas." Do you think its pronouced "Dor-kus" or "Dor-sas" Also, do you think her parents should be shot for making her name "Dorcas"? -Hufflebunny
<Giggles> Dorkus. That was her first name? Wow. Maybe it means something wonderful in another language to make up for how funny it is in English. I would be sad if I were that girl, and I be she wanted to be called Dor or Dora. We should find her and give her hugs to make up for that crappy name.

I have a "Joke-a-Day" calendar in my room, it has space to write things that you have that day, such as appointments, etc. But If I go to write something for a week in advance, I end up seeing the joke, so its not as much fun when I turn the page for that day. Why don't people at big companies have any common sense? -Hufflebunny
Maybe you need TWO calendars that are different and that way you only write in one, and if you see the joke in that one, it's ok because you still have an unseen joke from the other calendar. You must be popular if you have events and appointments! I should have known. Can you pencil me in sometime?

do you smell burnt toast? thathinguywhois
No I don't, and I bet you've been watching that commercial with that girl who smells it and then her brain is exposed and she smells it again and the doctor is pleased. I've seen that commercial a few times.

Why do people change their msn names to like "Woo! going to the movies tonight! It'll be fun, so and so" and they list off names or "Going skiing tomorrow, It'll be awesome, eh *names off like 4 people*" Just to make them look cool, and show that they have friends? In my opinion it makes them look like a loser.-Hufflebunny
Yea they're just showing off and being losers. Anyone can make up names, and who cares who they hang out with? Time to send them broken things in the mail, send honking geese to their homes and disconnect their internet connection. I'm glad I don't see anyone do that on msn. Oh yea, I don't have it. Oh.

Okay so.... I linked to TID and I sent JCP an email telling her this and yet I have not recieved anything back from her and I am not on the lovely community page...why is this?-bluemonkeyfearer
I think it's because she's a nasty and horrible person who likes making you suffer! I've seen this sort of sick thing before and let me tell you, it can be awful. Come here and I'll hold you and protect you from her until she yells at me and I'm forced to obey. But you'll be ok won't you? We can lick each others wounds afterwards. Mmm licking.

Im just gonna throw this out on the table and say that this is the gayest site i have ever seen and all creators of it deserve to die a harsh painful death.
Well dumdum, that wasn't a question at all. And I think you're wrong, and just saying that to see how cute I get when I make my frowny face. Yea, I know you love it. Well I was the bitch last time so this time it's your turn. Put on that cute little outfit I bought you. Yea, that's right. You've been a naughty little monkey haven't you?

Why is there anyone in the world who doesn't like blink-182? -chaos_zero
Not everyone can like the same thing, people just don't work like that! If you can imagine, some people (like JCP) hate shoes. What a weirdo she is for hating them. Poptart doesn't even care about his. But shoes are wonderful! Shiny and cuddly and, and what isn't there to love??? People are just weird.

Do you like to have sex? I do, which leads me into my question: having sex outside of marriage is a sin, right. And if you do it too much, you go to hell. So, do you get to have lots of sex in heaven? They say that you are happy when you are in heaven, and i'm happy when i'm having sex. So maybe you do. But if not, is it really worth it? I'll bet there's lots of whores in hell. Maybe I should visit someday.
I've decided that I don't believe in a heaven or hell and such. Believing in god means I have to believe in satan, and well, that's just silly isn't it? Besides, heaven should be full of whores and hell filled with people you never want to have sex with. I think that they're just trying to scare you so that you don't have kids that you didn't plan for and want. You know, an attempt at population control. So make sure you are safe and then come on over and we'll play and sin together.

Aren't asians hot? - chaos_zero
Everyone is hot. Well, not everyone, but lots of people are. All sorts of people, and animals too. And that one sauce I had the other night was insanely hot and burnt my mouth.

Whats your favorite sexual position? - BoredBlondeChick
Any will do, obviously. On top, behind, balancing off the counter, hanging off the light fixture, tied to the bed, jammed in the fridge, locked in the closet, you know, whatever gets me some sex to begin with. Why, what do you want me to try with you? <Smiles nicely> I'll do whatever you want.

if the world spins why dont we get dizzy
The world doesn't spin, the universe around us spins. Silly! If it were spinning, we'd feel it AND get dizzy so those scientist people are just lying for some reason.

Feb 4/05
Answered by: Herbert

herbert ... don't you just get all kinds of ppl on this site!!!! from ignorant to enlightened funny to frightening to bigots and everything!! isn't it fun to get to react to all of them! I don't think JCP really appreciated it when she answered these questions she seems like a bitter person but is also wonderfully creative, probably just doesn't like ppl. I understand!, you on the other hand, except for being overly sexual (which I actually don't mind whatsoever) are a very open loving and kind person and I have really appreciated your presence on this site, of course you probably are all just aspects of DC's multiple personalitys, except mzebonga and blue monkey fearer (whom i wonder if is cute) just had to tell you and ask you this because of the positive impact this question and answer thing has had on me over the past year, and why does everything move so quickly......thathinguywhois!.
Wow that guy who is, that's a lot of writing for you! It is lots of fun to have all sorts of people on here, it makes me feel loved and like I've done something with my life. JCP is indeed creative and I think she's fun, but she didn't seem to like these quesitons near as much as I do! I'm so glad you've been writing in, even though sometimes it doesn't make a lot of sense. No, I'm not a personality of DC, and yes, bluemonkeyfearer is very cute, we all are here, well ok not DC, and not Mzebonga. But the rest of us are cute! I bet you'd be cute too thathinguywhois, if you'd just smile a bit more often! I know you smile when you're here, so just try to keep memories of here in your mind whereever you go. I'm so glad this has been a positive experience for you! You'll help me out-last DC won't you? Only a few more years to go!

My "Horrorscope" says that I'm a nasty bitch. I really hope this isn't true because I don't like nasty bitches myself. Do you think I'm a nasty bitch or, worse yet, that Emerald is a nasty bitch? McDiablo
Oh, poor McDiablo! You're not a bitch at all! I read some of those and they're just so mean that I had to stop and cry for a bit. I don't know why they had to be so mean. Yes it says HORRORscope but still, it's just mean. I don't think I'm going to read them anymore.

How come I just became aware of scented maxi pads? McDiablo
I think it's because you don't normally go around sniffing maxi pads. What do they smell like? Why would they smell? Why must everything smell? People even plug things in, spray stuff and more to make their houses stink. Why do they do this when they can open a window? Seems silly! Then again, I get into people's houses by using open windows, so maybe that's why. But you won't do that to me will you McDiablo?

Should I just kill my sister's assistant manager for her? She really despises the guy. Side note: He's a wrestler, albeit a skinny one, and his wrestling name is Memphis Rain. McDiablo
Memphis Rain? <Giggles> I say we just go beat him up using kickboxing moves. That'd be fun and we could all laugh at him as he cried. Then you and I and your sister can go have cake and ice cream somewhere and talk about things we like.

Hey Herbert, it's been a while since I've been on this site, have I missed much? - Miss Roger's Sweater
Hello Miss Roger's Sweater, have we met before? If not, let me give you a welcoming hug and if you want, you can pat my bottom. How long have you been gone? Have you been away doing fun things? I'd like to go do fun things like play with shoes, but I have to wait until I'm done answering these questions. Then again, this is a lot of fun too!

do sock monkeys have to shave their legs too? - Miss Roger's Sweater
Only if they want to! In fact, you don't have to either, but it's fun to play with the shaver or razor and watch all that hair/fur drop to the floor. I did that once here at Poptart's and he got very angry. I had put all the hair in one of his shoes to play with, and he came home early and caught me.

in my guitar lesson the other day i breathed loudly and my teacher thought i said something. i just kind of stared at him hoping he'd move on with the lesson. what should i have done? - Miss Roger's Sweater
How scary Miss Roger's Sweater! I think I would have run away screaming if that had happened to me. I hate when people stare at me and think I've said something when I haven't. Will he teach you to smash guitars? To play with your toes? I don't think I'd want to play guitar with my toes. I wonder if my tail could help me play guitar. What do you think?

which are better, snails or turtles? - Miss Roger's Sweater
Turtles! I don't know why, but I'd rather have a turtle hanging around than a snail. Maybe it's because turtles are larger and provide more comfort when I'm crying and need to hug something. One time one bit my tail, but I don't hold that against all turtles.

What is your opinion on the existance of dragons? Do you think that I could be right in my theory that people killed off the rest of the dinosaurs, saying that they were dragons?-bluemonkeyfearer
Dragons? Hmm, I don't know about them. I've seen drawings of them and some look very scary indeed. Maybe that is what happened? I will believe you until I find a dragon that disagrees. If dragons were smart, they would have left and started a cool dragon planet somewhere. That'd be fun!

Cheese or a hug?-bluemonkeyfearer
Must I choose? Can't I have both? Well, I'd rather have the hug. Will you be here soon to give it to me? I can't wait!

Heya herbert. Someone recently asked "If the world spins, why don't we get dizzy". Mind if I post an answer ? .... Try spinning in a circle VERY SLOWLY over 24 hours, and after 24 hours you will have spun completely. Yes, the earth is moving fast, but the earth is also very big. Migh I also mention that everything on earth is speinning at the same rate. If you want to know more, read " a brief history of Time" by steven hawking. Sorry, that question just really bothered me. -me (yes, yiou still get a hug) * HUG *
Thank you for sharing! Awww, I'll always hug back. That sounds like a good book, it is difficult to understand? Does it have pretty pictures? I don't really read that well, but I do like looking at pictures. Mmmmm pictures. Wait a minute, so the world is moving then? Scary! Hold me and tell me more about this stuff.

If you give me your adress, I'll send you some Faygo. Will you give me an adress I can mail it to ? -me *HUG*
You can mail it here, put a note along with it that it's for ME and then JCP will have to bring it to me. Wow, presents, you'd really buy something for me? I'd be so happy I'd write you a think you note and everything!

Is it possible to freeze Anti-Freeze?
Sure! Everything can be frozen, just haul it up to the north or south pole and leave it there for awhile to freeze! It's just that easy! One time I left some pudding up there and when I got back it was a huge iceberg. I played on it for awhile until my paws got frozen and then I had to go home.

What was the best thing before sliced bread? -hufflebunny
Before sliced bread? I don't know hufflebunny, why would sliced bread count as being a 'best' thing? That's very silly to think that sliced bread would be so exciting. Maybe I just don't do the right things with sliced bread to find it so much fun. Am I doing something wrong?

if drinking and driving is against the law, why do all the bars have parking lots? -hufflebunny
I don't know hufflebunny. That seems really silly doesn't it? Then again, there should be designated drivers that are allowed to drive. I say that you and I go out and start doing something about this sort of sillyness in the world. I'll bring cheese!

i saw a sign before, and it said: "Seeing Eye Dogs Only". Do you think dogs can read?
Well if they're seeing eye dogs, they should be able to read shouldn't they? And if you didn't have a seeing eye dog, that means YOU can read the sign that says not to bring in your dog. I guess you'd have to throw something at people as they came in to see if they were blind or not.

my p***y stinks wat should i do
Your potty stinks? It's ok, you can say potty here.

Who's your favourite? - Mzebonga
Sorry to make you cry, but I think that bluemonkeyfearer or McDiablo is my favorite. (I'm assuming you mean who's my favorite TID person) They're BOTH my favorite! Awwww, hugs all round. I'll still hug you Mzebonga, just not as much as the others.

Have you missed me? I've just been so very busy lately I haven't had time to chat to you. I haven't even had time to rub my tail! I MUST be busy! Superman Dave
Hello Dave! Yes I have missed you! Were you also away doing fun things like Miss Roger's Sweater was? Can I go with you next time? I'd love to have busy things to do so I could tell people how busy I was and they'd think I'm important. I could even get business cards! They'd be all fun and shiny. You spend some time rubbing your tail and then we'll make business cards together.

I am dating this really awesome, steady guy who's in college, and has what i consider to be great potential.(plus he's tall, healthy, and cute.) We have been dating for almost 3 years. Just recently, this guy i know asked me out. He lives in a motel, is recovering from heroin addiction, has no job or car, and is self-decribed as Desperate.(Short, dirty, and capable of relapse) How does one make the decision? Which would you choose? Eva Torn
Great potential? Seems funny when people say 'has good potential'. Either you like them or don't, what's with this about potential? I say you get yourself your own job, your own future and stop relying on other people. You must be boring if you have nothing to offer. If you want, I can teach you how to be a real person, just come live in the closet with me for awhile. Then you can learn how to do fun things for yourself like playing, putting on shoes and more playing. Mmmmm shoes.

Don't you hate it when you ask "what's up?" and people answer "the sky." I mean, just because I do it to them doesn't mean they can do it to me!
Oh I see what you're doing! You're funny! I should say that next time someone asks me, or when you ask me! Then we can both laugh and laugh at how clever we are!

I keep my vagina between my girlfriend's legs. Where do you keep yours? - chaos_zero
I bet you thought I'd find that clever, and I do, but only a little bit. I don't have a girlfriend, and I know that you're actually just here to make fun of me. Well that's just mean chaos_zero.

Why are you bald? Is it because there's no hair tonic for sock monkeys, or because you're a skinhead?
Not all sock monkeys have hair, and I don't know what a skinhead is. I've seen bald people before, how do I tell if they are what you call skin heads? Or are they the people who aren't bald but shave their heads anyway? Those people I've seen. Sometimes they're scary, but most times they're not.

No, and all those O's don't help you get any cooler either. I think you should stop trying so hard.

If i were to walk up to you, pick you up, stick you in my pants, and run around screaming "munky in my pants!" could we get together on saturday night from grilled cheese sandwhiches? - Wolfman
Wow! That would be GREAT Wolfman! Not only would I have fun down your pants, but the grilled cheese just makes it WONDERFUL! Big hug to you Wolfman, and a whole lot more when I'm down your pants!

Aw, I got a good question award for my closet question. Just for that you don't have to live in the closet, I'll put a shoe on my bed for you and you can sleep with me. We'll dance and laugh and play all day. Won't it be so much fun?-monkeeskittles
You and Wolfman are spoiling me! A bed to sleep in, with you?! Wow! I'm so happy my tail is wagging! I'll bring cheese and pizza and lots of fun stuff so you'll love me forever and ever! You're my favorite for the whole of today and tomorrow monkeeskittles! Ok, for the MONTH!

What is my name?
I don't know, you haven't told me. Have you lost your name? You can be called Phil from now on, or Nancy.

How many fingers am i holding up?
Where are you? I don't see anyone holding up fingers. Phil? Nancy? Is this you again with your odd questions?

what would you do if it was a good morning and someone just comes and farts in your face ? juggalo13
I think I'd be a bit angry if it didn't smell good. If it were a wet fart I'd be very upset for awhile. Then I would be happy that I touched somone's ass that day and it would make up for it. Should I watch out for you? Would it surprise you if I used some tongue?

What would you do for a klondike bar ? -me *HUG* x 2
A what? Is that the ice cream thing? I think I'd give you some hugs (I'd do that for free anyway) and then I'd maybe rub your feet too. We could have fun with ice cream you know. Come over and I'll show you how, if monkeeskittles says I can have friends over at her place when I move in.

Wow Herbert, You have red rings around your paws, feet and tail! Whats that like? Do your shoe friends find it super sexy?
It's great, I can easily see my paws, feet and tail! I think it's very sexy on everyone, so it can't help but be sexy on me too! <Blushes> What do you think of it? Do you think it's sexy? You should get some too!

Feb 6/05
Answered by: Herbert

Why do men have nipples ?- Torrez
It's not just men and women who have nipples, but lots of creatures! <Giggle> Nipples. <Giggle> I'd like some nipples to play with, maybe some like yours? Or your friends? Or that girl down the street? Yea, you know the one. Mmmmmm nipples. <Giggle>Nipples. <Giggle> Mmmmmmm

Who shot Kennedy? -Torrez
Shot Kennedy? Well, I guess if he/she were somewhere where sock monkeys were playing with their tails then perhaps he/she would be shot by one of them. If all else fails, blame the victim. I say Kennedy shot himself/herself. I wouldn't want a name like Kennedy, it could be for either a boy or a girl and that is confusing. Good thing my tail isn't confusing. Your name is sort of fun isn't it Torrez? Wait a minute, aren't you on that ship that's lost somewhere? I like your forehead it makes me giggle. Can I lick those bumps or maybe rub my tail on them?

Did Kurt Cobain commit suicide ?-Torrez
Assisted suicide from what I've seen on the TV. It was some mop thing with a red handle. It would bounce around loudly and beat at him with it's straw head until he got upset and then he got so insane he shot himself to escape. Mops are scary.

Can you poop with an erection?-Torrez
I've never tried or had to. When I have questions like this, I go and search for an answer on the internet and it's always very willing to supply me with photos. You should try that, but not when someone who will yell at you is near. If there are mops near by, make sure you burn them in the bathtub before searching.

In my sisters room, we've recently found ants, so We got the exterminator. but the thing is, my room is usually a huge mess, and my sisters is SO clean. do you find it ironic that it was her room that we found the ants?
Since her room was so clean, you could SEE the ants! The ones in your room have no need to go scavenge in the open for food, they've found many hidden treats. You should give your room a good cleaning and get rid of them before they nest in your tummy while you sleep.

Why is it that whenever you like somebody, they always like somebody else. And whenever somebody likes you you always like somebody else? Does life just suck that way? BoredBlondeChick
Oh yes it sucks a lot when that happens. Or when you like someone but they don't know you even exist and there you are outside their house and down the street in a car just watching their window every night for a month. They don't even notice you out there, watching them come home every night, feeling like a fool when it's never you they're going out with. Where do they go? So you follow them around the city and know everything about them and now you're too scared to go talk to them, thinking they will know you're some sort of freak. How about you and I hold each other close and promise to never leave each other ever? We'll forget all about those nasty people who don't like us back.

How to disect an animal?
No! Instead, let's dissect a tissue box. First, it's got a patch on the top that you're supposed to tear off and throw away. Once you do that, the tissues come out all fun and one after another! Once you've ripped out each tissue, you can rip open the box and write or draw pictures inside it. The tissues work well for cleaning up messes from playing, or be used as a pillow until needed for cleaning.

Dear Herbert the adorable sock monkey, it is me once again. You said you would do anything I say. I have a question AND a request. Have you ever heard of Paper Bag Octopuses? Well, I knew one once. His name was Fartripper. Fartripper loved to watch underwater television. But every Friday at 10:37 PM an evil sofa named Asswatcher would come and attack his television, then leave him with nothing but disgusting moldy hot dogs and a few drops of beer. Fartripper would use some form of voodoo and beat up a letter from his electric company and then evil Asswatcher would not be able to come back until next friday because he suffered severe bruising to his teeth, balls, and cushons. So my question is, how the Hell should Fartripper get rid of Asswatcher so he won't have to buy a new television set every week? Also, what is your favorite flavor of applesauce? And now for my "request." I would like you to draw me another picture. Draw it of whatever you want! You are so talented and creative, you just think of something horribly wonderful. And I won't be TOO mad if you don't. Bye! I heart your ass-- I, uh mean, you!!
Hello! No I haven't heard of Paper Bag Octopuses. I think Fartripper could get rid of Asswatcher by having a fake TV there to fool him into destroying it. He could hide the real one in the closet, on a cart with wheels or something. Applesauce has flavor besides apple? Is that a trick question? I'm so glad you like my drawings, here is another one for you all.

Why don't the little people on Crosswalk signs have hands or feet? -Hufflebunny
They don't? I've never noticed. Aren't you smart to notice that Hufflebunny! What is a huffle? It is something that you'd hug, because I want to hug you when I read your name. Maybe it's the bunny part. I don't know but it sounds hugable. Mmmmm hugs.

hey.. i read ur answer to the question "what is that dangly thing in the back of ur throat?" and i was wondering ... did u actually cut urs off? -barko
I don't remember that, I'm not smart enough to remember all the things I've said. I'd check for the lump in my throat but last time I did that, I puked on the floor and Poptart got very upset with me. Ok sure I shouldn't have rolled around in it, but I wasn't feeling so good after I threw up so I wasn't thinking straight.

Where can I get some taquitos?? And a clown with no head??......... HEADLESS CLOWN!!!!!-PIFF
Taquitos? I don't know what those are. Are they fancy tacos? <Giggles> Mmmmm tacos. Headless clowns would be sort of fun don't you think? They could run around bumping into things and you'd be able to kick them and laugh and they can't find you to kick you back. I'd probably jump on the back of one and ride it around for awhile.

If one plus one equals two, and two plus two equals four, why doesn't four plus four equal onetwoonetwo?? - Chaos_Zero
You're just being all chaotic aren't you? I knew it, your name gave it all away! Instead of confusing numbers, let's talk about those big fuzzy dogs called Chow Chows. Aren't they big and puffy? They're fun, and not creepy at all. What's creepy are those old movies where groups of people broke out into some sort of sad song as they walked home after a funeral.

Do you know binary?? 0100010010111001010001110100010010001110001010010001001! And that goes double for your mom!
Well 01010110101010101000001000010000101000010001 to you. Did that get you feeling sort of excited after typing all those 1's and 0's because I sure did. Mmmmm excited.

why is pickles? -sock
For fun! You can do a great many thing with them, like slicing them up, and sucking on them. <Giggles> I said sucking! I sure am giggly tonight, it must be all the sugar I ate. Poptart went out and got a big bag of it and it was yummmmmmmmy! I licked my paws, put them in the bag and then would suck on my own sweet paws. If anyone wants to come over I can put it on my tail for you to suck off. <Giggles for a few minutes> Now my tummy hurts from giggling!

Do like to climb on things, being a sock monkey and all?... Or would you rather hide in a closet and play with your tail whilst giggling? Stunt Fox
Oh I like to do all of what you said! Stunt Fox, wow, that sounds like fun. What sort of stunts do you do? Crazy fire fox stunts with tail all bushy and stuff? Can I come along with you one day and watch all the crazy stuff you do?

Would it be hard to create a sock monkey? Because i want one. We would have so much darn fun! Stunt Fox
I don't know, I've never made one! I could ask my mom for you. If you do make one, send me pictures and maybe I can come over and you know, help them out and stuff. Then we could all be friends and go and have BBQ's and things like that! What fun! I'll bring the sugar!

how long does mariajuna stay in your system?
Well I don't know, how about I just say 2 days. If that's not right, well that's too bad, and you can come here and suck on my sugared tail if you don't like it! <Giggles maniacally>

Feb 9/05
Answered by: Herbert

So, I sit down at the computer desk and I notice this piece of paper with writing on it--my brother's writing. He wrote down a lot of shit, but I have no idea what it is. It isn't school work. I'm confused and curious. What the heck did he write down? McDiablo
That's sort of scary yet adventurous to find! Maybe it's a secret code? What did he write exactly? I hope you scanned it in or something. It could be a secret that was channeled through your brother and left for you to discover. Maybe you'll find some gold or a fancy waterfall or something fun! Let's go adventuring McDiablo! I'll find us safari hats to wear.

I had to play a soccer game today and it was FRICKIN' FREEZING. Why wasn't the game cancelled--I mean, it was snowing at my house for crap's sake. McDiablo
Snowing during a soccer game? Yes they should have canceled it! How mean for people to make them play, and then to make you watch! Poor McDiablo, I'd send you blankets to help but you're already away with the game. Next time bring me and I'll keep us both warm. I'll buy us hot chocolate and everything and we'll cheer on whatever team you want to cheer for.

Have you had any weird dreams lately? McDiablo
I did dream about a horse that followed me around a store. I was looking at new socks and I felt like someone was watching me. When I turned around, I saw a horse duck down behind a shelf. So I started trying to find it to ask it why it was following me. It ran away, and because horses are quicker than sock monkeys, it got away.

Why school?-bluemonkeyfearer
It's to fill your head with stuff you'll probably never use, and they'll never teach you things you really do need to use every day. I say you start a manners class, so that people don't let the door slam shut on me anymore. Sometimes my tail gets caught and it hurts a lot. How can I play with my tail when it's all bruised? People are just rude sometimes.

b_write is more than just a little obsessive about sex and drugs, isn't he? I should be frightened to have him in the same school as me, shouldn't I? I should become a hermit and go live in a cave, shouldn't I? You should come live in my cave with me, shouldn't you?-bluemonkeyfearer
For some reason, I thought b_write was a girl! Next time I'll check by touching. Of course I'll live in a cave with you, that'd be fun! We can paint things on the walls, have fire and grunt at each other! I'll pack up my stuff now bluemonkeyfearer. Can we get some new socks on the way there? I think I need some. If you teach me some songs, I can sing for you in the cave and keep us amused.

"Or that girl down the street? Yea, you know the one." You said that in the last bunch of questions you answered, and that sounds oddly like a song by "Weird Al Yankovic" but he's referring to a bait shop. Is that what you were thinking of when you answered the question? -hufflebunny
No I wasn't actually, and I don't know that song. I should get it though, Weird Al is funny. He has funny hair that I'd like to play with and maybe sleep in. I wonder if he'd like me sleeping in his hair, I don't see why not. I'd be keeping his head warm! Maybe he'd sing a song about me, that'd be wonderful. Herbert the Hat he'd call it.

Herbert, I put some catnip infront of my cat and it ate it. IT ATE IT! What is the meaning of this? Do you think it'll be stoned on the nip?
That was nice of you to share catnip with your kitty! It might get a big high from it and if so, make sure you're nice to it and don't pull on it's tail. I'd like to get stoned on the nip, but kitties won't share it with me and I don't know where to buy some good nip on my own. Will you help me? Where did you get your nip?

if i had a giant mecha made of bull frog sperm would i need to get rid of the giant female bullfrog with my lasers of furry love and sucking?thathinguywhois
I'm not sure what you're trying to do thathinguywhois, but I think that instead, you should work on getting me some nip or something else fun to eat. Mmmm love and sucking. Sign me up for that instead, that sounds like lots of fun.

do you like to get your anal cavity devoured by mexicans?
Oh sure, mexicans, canadians, british people (Mzeonga especially). I like people from all over the world. I'd even play with creatures from other planets!

Where did "pants" orginate. Where pants made for male or female in the beginning. BBBGIRL65
I don't know BBBGIRL65. I would imagine that pants were made to keep legs warm, and since both girls and boys have legs, both would use them. I'd ask around for you, but I don't think anyone I know would be old enough to remember that sort of thing.

how come we don't have the right to have weapons without questions asked ? I dream of a world when i could walk into a local k-mart and pick up say, a pound o'nitroglycerine, some spare 5.56 and 12 gauge shells, a disposable LAW and walk to the counter, the lady will punch numbers in, say it comes to 55.99, ask me if i want paper or plastic bags, and then say "thank you for shopping, have a nice day !" Why can't i just buy say, a .50 barret light anti-vehicle sniper rifle, without any paperwork and all that insane stuff ?
You're not allowed in my world! Guns aren't a good idea for the average person to have so I'd have to protest any sort of place that allows you to buy guns and such by the bagful.

If a mime artist is arrested! Does he have the right to remain silent?
Of course, a mime has just as many rights as others! I wonder if he'd mime out his confession too. How do you interrogate a mime? This is just making me think of all sorts of odd things and my tummy hurts so I should stop.

Do yoall have any hardcore sex stories.
Yoall? I'm Herbert, not yoall. And even if I do, why would I share them with you? You don't leave a name, you're just a stranger looking to get off on MY stories! Well too bad, you have to at least tell me your name and touch my tail for awhile before I give you free stories!

Fire stunts are great! Do you do fire stunts? Would you like to do a fire stunt with me? We could light each others heads on fire and run around screaming loudly trying frighten the little children even! -Stunt Fox
I'd love to do that with you Stunt Fox, but I'd burn very quickly and then I'd never be able to have fun again! Will you teach me other stunts though? I think we'd have great fun and you know, I think I've said fun a lot today! That means I should go out and have some. I just don't know what to do. Maybe I'll try my own stunts outside in the street and see how that goes!

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