Answered by: Herbert
Sometimes, when no one is home,
I dance around in my panties. Would you be interested in watching
me? I wouldn't charge you, but you would have to smack my bottom
everynow and then. Venomous
Mmmmmm panties! Wow, you know, all you people are just so nice
and sexy. All this time I've been treated like I'm sort of freak
for constantly wanting to touch people and their shoes, and
all I had to do was go online to find some people and creatures
that understood and embraced me. <Wipes away tear.> I
would be more than happy to watch you dance around in your panties!
I could even rub your back and other parts to say thank you!
I baked a pie for you.
It's a new recipe. I call it kitten pie. Would you like to try
a piece of my homemade kitten pie? Venomous
Well if there are really kittens in it then I'd have to say
no and I'd have to cry some very sad tears. Poor little kittens
I'd cry, and maybe you'd cry seeing me cry and agree to never
again make kitten pie that makes me cry. Can you make other
types of pies? Maybe peanut butter pie, but we'd have to have
small pieces or else I'd get tons of it in my fur and you'd
have to help me lick it out. Mmmmm licking my fur. Peanut butter
pie it is, I'll bring some large plates.
say, for some unknown reason, you're on an expedition in Antarctica.
Your friend is the only one with you. Along the way, you get
trapped in some sort of ice cave, due to a blizzard. You manage
to start a fire, being the man that you are. So you're pretty
warm, but your friend starts complaining of a tingling in his
left arm. When you look at it, you notice there are blisters
all over it. He has frostbite. A few days have passed, and by
this time you're starving. You've already eaten all of your
supplies. You take another look at his arm and you notice that
it is becoming gangrenous. You know that if you don't sever
his left arm and cauterize the wound, your friend will surely
die from the infection. So you proceed to do so. After the agony
of your first operation, you are very hungry. You take a look
at his left arm, lying on the ice like some sort of fresh fish
that was just pulled from the ocean. May I remind you, that
it is covered with gangrene. Do you eat it? If you do eat it,
do you cook it over the fire and wait for your friend to wake
up so you can share it with him? Would you tell him that he
is eating his left arm, or would you tell him it's some sort
of animal you managed to kill and cook? Venomous
The polite thing to do would be to tell him what I was considering.
If he agreed, then I'd cook it up and share it with him, being
careful to get rid of the bits that look very nasty and infected.
Since I'm probably not a good surgeon (I would have puked several
times from having to cut off their arm already.) my friend would
probably die, I'd ask him if it were ok if I ate his body afterwards.
Even if he said no, I'd probably still eat him, as if he's dead,
he's fair game. Of course I'd be crying the whole time I ate
him, as that would be a very sad situation where I was being
forced to eat my own friend. I'd also be very glad that I wasn't
trapped with JCP, as she would have gutted me like Hans Solo
did to that dinosaur looking thing out in the snow and sleep
in my corpse.
have you guys ever fucked
I'm not really sure who else you're talking about so just go
here to see the photos.
do you often think what
the meaning of life is, if there even is a meaning? scarley
Sometimes I think about it while I'm just lying around somewhere,
alone and quiet. JCP used to tell me all about how there are
planets and stuff out there, and that sounds like some pretty
amazing stuff. It makes me happy that I can't do anything that
will mess up all that going on out there. (And let's be honest,
your monkey race can't mess all that up either, just this planet
maybe.) So I figure if I'm a nice sock monkey who makes others
feel happy instead of sad or hurt then I don't need a meaning
at the moment.
What makes shoes so interesting
? I know you do have a shoe fetish, but I'm curious as to what's
so special aboutthe shoes. Not putting you down or anything.
Oh their shapes are what I like most. Some have crisscrossy
straps, buckles and mmmmmmm tie up to the knees or higher. Also,
they come in many different colors, and some are very shiny!
I know not everyone likes them, so thank you for being nice
about it. Just because I like them, sometimes people get freaked
out. JCP and Poptart don't understand why I like shoes, but
that's because they only have two or three pairs each, and none
of them are very fancy.
Do you ejaculate out
of your tail ?-me*HUG*
<Giggles.> It's best not to give that sort of thing too
much thought. Don't you worry though, I won't get a mess on
you if you want to play with my tail.
my erection is blue can i lick
You're such a poet! Did you realize that rhymed? It did! I'm
so impressed, of course you can lick me. I'll even lick you
till you're no longer blue too. That sorta rhymed too! What
a poetic licking pair me make. Maybe we could even sell books
filled with tail rubbing poems for others to use when touching
their own tails. You could take photos of me and we'll put them
in the book. That'd be a lot of fun, let's try that tonight.
Why do people keep calling me
crazy? I don't think I am. Neither do I. InsaneEvilBarbieMelter
Don't believe what others tell you. I was always told how pathetic
I was for liking shoes so much, and constantly called a creepy
pervert. So I went into peoples rooms while they were asleep
and would rub my tail on their faces, but come on, that's not
the same as rubbing my tail on their naked body parts while
they were sleeping. (I only did that a few times anyways. I
was curious, not a creepy pervert.) I say you tell those people
to shut up!
Why are people SO obsessed
over guys that they were with for like 2 months and then SHE
dumped HIM and then they go on about how much they want to be
with him? I think its a bit sad -hufflebunny
It's very sad, but that's what people are like sometimes. It's
best to just stay away from them until they smarten up or give
them tons of hugs until they feel better or just say they feel
better to make you stop hugging them so much. Either way, you
might get them to give you more than a hug, and that's when
you need to call me. If they're mean to you, tell me and I'll
kick some major ass for you hufflebunny! You deserve hugs, not
people whining about stupid shit.
Hi gorgeous. Have you
ever thought about coming to England? You could stop with me,
we could have so much fun! We could hug, and rub each others
tails, roll in the hay, drink tea and eat crumpets! It would
be wonderful! You could be my Lois Lane! Superman Dave. xxx
Oh wow, really? Could I wear her shoes? That'd be fun! You'd
get to wear tights and a cape, how exciting for you! You'd be
my personal superhero as well as the world's superhero. Wow!
This is great!
Do you speak Japanese? Superman
Dave. *rubs his tail*
No I don't, I'm not smart enough for multiple languages. If
you spoke it, maybe I'd be able to learn. You're just so super
talented (besides being superhero) that if anyone can teach
a crazy little monkey like me, it'd be you. Mmmmm thanks for
the tail rub!
What's the best way to pickle
a traffic cone? I inherited an ancient incan recipe for doing
it, but I can't read it, so I hope you can help. Superman Dave.
What a great idea! I can't believe I never thought of that!
I would bet that McDiablo has though. I don't know why but she
strikes me as the sort of person who finds traffic cones amusing.
I hope you have a super
evening...this is not a question...just a request......i miss
you already and you are not even gone... downunder
You miss me already? Where am I going? Have you been talking
to Poptart? He promised he wouldn't kick me out until after
the winter. Stop scaring me, that's not very nice at all. I'll
buy him pizza tonight, that will make him happier with me.
When is the world going to end?-bluemonkeyfearer
Hi bluemonkeyfearer! I was wondering where you had gone, it
has been awhile since you've written me. Is it because I tried
to touch your bottom again even after you had said to stop already
because your parents were watching? If it's because of the mess
I made in your closet, well I tried to clean it up best I could.
Do you forgive me? Hopefully the world doesn't end before you
forgive me. That would be a very sad event and I'd be forced
to cry a lot. Can I give you a welcome back hug?
Boos on the new article BOOS!,
JcP Has disappointed so many with portraying Paperclips in such
a negative light! I'll have you know they are not all naive,
sexless, floozes... Mine happen to be the most delightful and
entartaining ... BOOS for the caliousness Jcp!Rarely does the
fine specimen of paperclips recieve attention or respect for
thier contributions.... Why didnt you take the oppertunity to
honour them, rather just be egotistical with no goal...... What
are your thoughts on this urgent matter, herbert?-NOO!
You're funny! <Giggles> Maybe you live where there are
smart and sexy paper clips. You should send
some of them to her and she can have an interview with them.
My thoughts are that paper clips are fun and shiny! Many times
I've helped them link together just for fun. I wonder how many
have been made and which is the oldest. Maybe someone collects
them, wait a minute, are you a paper clip collector? Can I see
What if you dreamed that
you really really REALLY had to poop....but couldn't. Then...you
woke up with your fist stuck up your butt....and you can't get
it out. What would you do?
At first I'd probably just quiver and maybe see if it felt good
at all to have my fist up there. After that, well I'd cry for
Poptart to come help me remove it. (Hopefully he hadn't left
for work, and isn't angry at me for doing something in his shoes.)
If he refused or wasn't there to help, well then I'd try to
relax and hopefully once I'm less tense, my fist will come easily
out of my ass.
If you were wandering
around lost, how would you know where to get directions from?
Oh I'd ask everything, even the trees. Even if the directions
are wrong, at least I'd have something to focus on. Having wrong
directions are better than no directions any day. The only types
of tree I wouldn't ask are Fir trees. I'm not sure why, but
I'm pretty sure that, given the opportunity, Fir trees would
lie to a lost sock monkey.
Where can I get treatment for
my Flannel Fetish? ruthiford
Mmmm flannel. Come here, I'll help you explore it. We could
have flannel furniture, clothing, bedsheets, pillows, towels
and even flowing flannel capes! Mmmmmmm that'd be fun.
Answered by: Herbert
What does it all mean???
and when i say all i am of course talking about the zappatista
rebelion and Mexican tyranny, and also the color mauve. ~BluePig
Tyranny, is that a dinosaur related to the TRex? Zappatista?
Is that a dinosaur too? Dinosaurs have big teeth. Wolves have
big teeth too. I wonder how easy it would be for wolves to eat
through furniture. You know, just put out a sofa and let them
tear through it. Maybe you'd have to hide meat in there though,
as I don't think wolves would attack a sofa for no reason. I
wonder if there are mauve wolves. I doubt it. I bet there were
mauve dinosaurs though. It seems like the sort of thing they'd
My cat seems depressed that
X-mas is over. She liked sitting under the tree and watching/derailing
the mini train that ran around it. What should we do to make
her feel better? McDiablo
You should set up a tree in your room or livingroom for her
to sit under. You might even be able to find a smaller one just
for her, as many places are now selling off their xmas stuff
at lower prices. You should also set up the train for her, or
get a few of them so you can keep her amused. It's the nice
thing to do.
Got any cures for a mucus-filled
Well if you'd like, I could reach inside your throat and pull
all the mucus out. If you don't like that idea, um, well I don't
have any others. Normally when I'm sick I just whine and complain
until someone knocks me out using medicine or their fist.
How much of a photo whore will
I become seeing that I now have a digital camera? McDiablo
You will fill your harddrive with strange photos of stuff that
only you (and your friends) find amusing (well and me, if you
ever decided to show me some). If your camera has a night shot
feature on it, then you'll have fun making strange blurry photos
of lights. You will become the finest camera whore around, and
all will bow to you. Hail McDiablo!
play with your tail but not in the hail maneuver through elephants
and barf inside pails naked and gleaming screwing footware thats
screaming you seem so relieving of secrets and demons.
Whatever sort of drug you are on needs to be shared with the
rest of us. On second thought, forget that, as then there would
be nothing but nonsense questions. So yea, eat the rest of your
drugs and maybe you'll be too confused to type in more so we
don't have to deal with this sort of thing.
I was playing ringette in New
Brunswick today, and this one player on the other team had a
jersey and under her number it said "Fish on Wheels,"for some
odd reason. Was this inspired by JCP's thoughts about the future
of fish? -Hufflebunny
Woah! Maybe! You should have asked that girl about that. Maybe
she would give you some fish on wheels of your very own! Hey,
JCP put a drawing with that
article! I hadn't seen that before. Very sneaky JCP.
*gasp* is it Deja Vu? Or did
you forget to put up a new What ifs and Questionnaire? I'm sorry
if I spelled questionnaire wrong. -hufflebunny
Sometimes if you visit a website every day, it gets cashed in
your browser. This means you need to hit 'refresh' when you
visit those sites, so that new stuff can be seen.
What time will you be coming
to my house for peanut butter pie? Venomous
Oh YUM! I'll leave for your place right now and just wait outside
until it's ready! Should I bring anything along? Whipped cream
maybe? Wow, think of all the fun we'll have!
Why are the penguins watching
me? Watching me? Watching me? Watching me? Watching me? Green.
You repeat yourself a lot so maybe they're watching and waiting
for you to stop, or maybe wondering when you'll eat that thing
they left out for you to eat so you'll explode and then they
can laugh at you.
Results! Results! We need results and we need them now, quick
easy and on time. And once this task is completed you will be
given an extra bonus Question! Yeess... And it WILL be definitly
worth it. So could you steal a bunch of Jcp's provisions from
her house or whenever she happens to be around and snatch whatever
is in her pocket.. and she'll get the clue. Oh and The results
posted can minimize your hits! Yeh...well I spose thats the
upside but... you know there is always the obvious down side..
THIS. oh and let me have some of Jcp's possesions, I bet she
owns alot of sharp items... with pornographic Sm imagery all
over them... Um, Not that this rrrrrreally *glances around nervously*
matters the life to me,... just you know lack of think ability..
to form more then bare anticipation like a tit for a 1 year...uuuuuuhhhhhh
old and pimply grotesque 15 year old boy. Oh, And the question...
Will you do it?-Nhos
Well I think it's great that JCP got them done so quickly considering
it's the holidays. If you wanted them updated RIGHT AWAY, then
you should pay her
to do it quickly. I heard her saying once that people like to
complain about stuff just for the sake of complaining. I guess
that's true. Next time I see her (if she lets me), I will give
her a big hug and thank her for all the time and work she puts
into this website.
If I get a hug out of
the deal, then sure I forgive you! The reason I have not been
online, well, Christmas break. Escape from school, sleep till
noon, be lazy, mmmmmm laziness. I assure you that I will be
diligently present on the Insane Domain after my return to school.
Does this comfort you?-bluemonkeyfearer
Oh yes I feel much better now. I was worried that you hated
me and then I'd have to cry and cry until I was soaked with
tears and turned moldy. I hope you enjoyed your vacation bluemonkeyfearer!
I'd like to go be lazy now, but I still have some questions
to answer, and it makes me feel all loved to have this many
people to reply to.
The weird guy mutated into a
clock!!!!! What is the meaning of this?????-bluemonkeyfearer
What are you, oh wait, the main page! Oh yes, I noticed that
changed as well. The last few times it's changed, it's been
at the beginning of the month. Maybe this is a new thing, where
we get a new graphic to look at each month. Yay!
i like sex a lot. and
sometimes, i wonder if you would ever be interested in talking
about sex with me sometime... ~b_write
Sure! That'd be fun and super. We could even discuss positions
and maybe try a few out to see if they work or not. Maybe we
could even write a book and make money off it, what do you think?
I think it'd be great!
If I were a bowl of ice cream,
would you eat me? Venomous
Even if you weren't a bowl of ice cream, I'd gladly eat you.
Hopefully you don't give me brain freeze though, or worse yet,
frostbite on my tail. If you don't do that to me then I'll gladly
is the grass really greener
on the other side? QM666
Sometimes yes. Other times, no it just looks greener. The best
thing to do is to tear down all fences and things that separate
grass so that it's all the same big patch of green instead of
us all being forced to compare and pick sides.
Do sock monkeys need to breath
? If not, then couldn't you all like form some kind of aquatic
monkey city underwater ? -me*hug*
Hmm, I never gave that much thought. I'm sure there are aquatic
monkeys out there, maybe deep in the oceans swimming around
and having fun. That makes me want to go play with them too.
I'd have to find myself a sock monkey wet suit though. In fact,
I'll make us both wet suits and we'll go look for them ourselves.
What did you have ?-me *hug*
What did I have for what? Thanks for the hug though! I have
a nice closet to hang out in for now, as there is a dog named
Stanley visiting with Poptart and Stanley doesn't like monkeys
like me. In my closet there are some shoes (of course) and some
clothes for me to curl up in. Once Stanley leaves, I will have
If I was painlessly insane would
that be inane?or would that really be sane and I could take
a doctorate in psycology so I could cure insanity or would that
Hello thathinguywhois. Hmm, now is your name 'tha thin guy who
is'? What is 'tha' mean? How confusing. I think that it's your
way of trying to be insane and confuse people. If you really
think you could get a doctorate then I say go for it. It will
probably help you feel better about things, or at the very least,
figure out how to trick people into giving you pieces of paper
that say you can judge others sanity. I'd like a paper like
that, can you get me one too?
I don't make New Year's
resolutions, but I did make a goal: I wanted to clean out my
closet. Well, it's only been 3 and 3/4 days into 2005 and I've
already done it. What should I do now? McDiablo
Wow, good job McDiablo! I say you make a resolution to take
Emerald out each week and get a slurpee. That way you can spend
some quality time with her outside, and maybe she'll meet some
sock monkey friends. Then, you can send those friends to me,
as there is plenty of room in the closet with me. You and Emerald
can come too!
Why won't this illness I have
just leave me and burn in hell? McDiablo
I have no idea! I've heard of a few people being ill lately
and that's sad. If I could hug you and make it go away, I would.
Awwww isn't that nice of me? Yea, I'm like that. Now we both
deserve hugs! I won't squeeze too tight though, it might make
What can i do if there is this
really sexy sock monkey, who will remain unnamed at the present,
and i want to ask them to a sock-hop formal, (don't ask),,,,?
But i don't want to seem all needy or like a slut. What can
i do? Eva Dilema
I don't see how you'd look like a slut for asking someone to
a sock-hop, a sock-BOP maybe, but not a sock hop. Just walk
up to them and ask them if they'd like to go with you. If they
give you any problems or anything, just tell me and I'll kick
their ass. If you ask and get it over with quickly, they either
say yes (and you save your happy dancing till out of eye shot)
or they no and you just say 'ok' and walk away like it didn't
matter anyways. A slut. Hmm, well I guess if you dress like
one then they might think you are, but if you don't dress like
one, I wouldn't worry about it.
Hey!!! what happened to www.HerbertSucksCock.com???
What? That's not something I've heard of. I do have some photos
that could be that but I know they're not online. I think you're
just trying to confuse me somehow.
ok, so i think that Bluemonkeyfearer
and i are from the same town. and we are in the same art class.
i think i've narrowed it down and she's kinda crazy, but i admire
that. I mean, come on aren't we crazy ones, the sane ones? anyways.
i just wanted to ask if you could find out if we are from the
same town? i'll just say this to make a hint to him/her. V-Town
Do you have a crush on her? Do you have one on me? How did you
track her down to here? Maybe she needs to be worried about
you following her around school now and asking for her autograph.
I should maybe go with her to protect her if needed, and then
I too can be in your art class! Wouldn't that be great? I could
paint nudes of people. Anyone willing to volunteer?
if i asked you to sleep
with me, would your answer be the same as the answer to this
question??? - b_write
Oh yes. Come on over (when you're done stalking bluemonkeyfearer)
and we'll have a great time sleeping and playing and such. In
fact, see if bluemonkeyfearer wants to come along.
Who is your mother/creator ?
Were they a good guardian?-me *hug*
My mom is my creator! She was really nice and everything. I
always thought she loved DC more, but she'd say she had no favorites.
Well if she had no favorites, why was he given the biggest slices
of pie when we had it? Why did he get a bigger room than I did?
Why did he get to go out later than I did? Then again, I did
get way more hugs from her, as I'm just more cuddly. I guess
that makes up for it.
are cops as dumb as they look?
Some of them are. The rest are just shaped out of clay and corn
flakes. Don't believe me? Bite into one sometime and you'll
How pleased am I to get
three good answer awards in this months probing (hehe! probing!)
questionnaire/ what if?!?! P.S. Thank you for getting them up
so quickly guys, I assume most people think you don't have anything
else to do over the holiday season! Superman Dave *appreciateve
Wow, three! Good job Dave! I'll tell JCP you said thanks, I'm
sure she'll be happy to hear something nice like that. I'll
even pass on your hugs to her if she lets me when she visits
Dear Mr Herbert Sextail, I know
that you're clever, so I know you'll be able to answer me where
my brother failed. You know that if you drop a cat it always
lands on its feet? And you know if you drop a piece of buttered
bread/toast it always lands butter side down? What therefore
happens if you strap a piece of toast butter side up to the
back of cat and then throw it out of a window? Does it just
hover above the ground and begin to rotate faster and faster
until it explodes? Or does it just land on its side? Or fly
away? Superman Dave
Herbert Sextail! <Blushes> You're so funny Dave, you make
me giggle! The cat would land on it's feet, as a cat is more
important than any piece of toast out there. If you threw a
cat out the window, I'd be forced to hunt you down and do unfun
things to you. Instead, I suggest you butter some toast and
jam it in your brothers eyes and then see if he falls facedown
or faceup when he screams in anguish and falls to the ground.
monkey licker. How do peole type so fast without looking? Wouldn't
it be cool to just think it and it came up on the screen!?!?
But then you wouldn't need to type anything! You could just
telepathise (is that even a word?) and not need to worry about
any other means of communication! And then you'd know what im
thinkin about doing to you with the industrial size vat of mayo
I got for Christmas. XXXXXX Superman Dave
It's called 'touch typing'. Some have taken typing/keyboarding
classes, and others have just spent too much time online chatting.
Either way, it's an impressive trick and I suggest you learn
to type like that too. I don't want telepathy computers, as
there are way too many things I think that should not be released
from my head. Mmmm, doing naughty things to me with mayo.
you know that if we put a s on the front of your name it spells
No I didn't! What I have noticed is that if you change the H
to a P and the B to a V, then you've got a fun new word that
can also be used to describe me! Aren't we clever? We figured
this stuff out while the rest of them are sitting there dumbstruck.
Ok well maybe not but it was fun for a bit, wasn't it?
Answered by: Herbert
Are you stupid? ~I like chickens~
Sometimes yes, very stupid! That happens when I don't think
before I do something. It happens quite a bit still, but I think
that maybe I'm starting to smarten up. Maybe? Ok, probably not
but I can still try.
is better: the Indiana Jones theme or the Star Wars theme? I
think the Indiana Jone theme because I always want to get off
my ass, find treasure and shot Nazis when I hear it. When I
hear the Star Wars ones, I can never find people with swords
made of light and guys in white armour. - Mzebonga
You are right about the Indiana theme inspiring getting off
one's ass, however the Star Wars theme prompts me to get off
my ass and march around menacingly. It's more of a loner theme,
whereas Indiana Jones inspires you to seek out allies to conquer
the impending doom or evil of some sort. You don't need to find
others to fight along with when you're a Jedi. If I were a Jedi,
I'd go find Yoda and give him a spanking, or better yet, have
him spank ME! Spank will he indeed! Come along Mzebonga, you
can be the droid! I wonder what Yoda has under those robes of
his. Green skin everywhere? Green pubic hair? Does he refer
to himself as 'THE FORCE'? Mmmmm force.
ha, i just realized you answered
these today :) yey. bluemonkeyfearer, hi. i will prolly never
tell her anything in public that i am on this thing too. due
to the fact i am shallow, and i don't like talking. ha. ne ways.
the question. If I was in the middle of a cloud, and all the
sudden a rainbow fell across it and i slid down it. what do
you think i would find at the bottom? a pot of gold or a pot
of anything because that is way too into the norms...i hate
norms...and mr. renning. b_write
You're not going to start following her around and stuff are
you? If you do, make sure you stay harmless or I'll be forced
to give you a spanking that won't be fun for you at all. Were
you hired by the blue monkeys to keep tabs on her so they can
arrange elaborate ways to scare her and have her make balloon
animals for them? Oh yes, your question. I don't believe in
these pots of gold at the end of rainbows. Who would put gold
there if they knew everyone was going to come and try to take
it? I think it's a distraction method. Hey look at the pretty
rainbow while we go do evil stuff over here behind you. Yea,
sounds pretty fishy to me too. If anything, you might find those
bubblegums or chocolates that are covered with gold looking
foil. I wouldn't mind sharing them either, so you can have some
Has anyone else bought fourty
pies from McDonald's at one time ? ( and yes by ELSE i mean
I have ) -me*HUG*
I would hope not. Poor me, are you trying to kill yourself with
pies? Don't do it! Step away from the pies! It will all be okay.
That's right, you can cry on Herbert, I understand. Let's just
throw those away. Maybe tomorrow you can start eating better
with a real apple and some peanut butter. Yea, it's ok, you'll
feel better in a few weeks. Just get through the withdraw stage
and you'll be fine. That's right. Let us never speak of that
awful place again.
why do people make websites
with little letters with a balck background is it to keepp us
from understanding what we are reading
Oh yes, and to trick you into clicking on things. Before you
know it, they have your credit card numbers, your blood type,
and a single piece out of every jigsaw puzzle you own. It's
scary and it's true.
Why do you like the smell of
your own poo?
It's mine, that's why. I like everything about me, even my own
poo. It tells me that I'm working as I should. One time the
poo stopped and I had to dig it out. After that it was ok and
I was glad to smell my poo that day.
why do people send insane questions
with things like "oh, look at my monkey butt award" when obviously,
you won't give them an award.-Hufflebuny
I think they just like typing the word butt. Sometimes I think
maybe they're being bossy. If it were me giving out the awards,
I'd come up with a 'nice try idiot' award for those that try
to get the butt award. Haha, butt.
What is it like, living without eyebrows? What
would the human race be like if we didn't have eyebrows? -Hufflebunny
I was looking at the fire extinguisher
in my house and it had a sticker saying "Non-Flammable." Does
the economics industry think that all consumers are morons?
Oh yes, it's built on that very fact, and then told to the consumers
to encourage them to be that way. It's easier for them to tell
us stuff if we're stupid. Good thing we're smarter than that
Hmmm my art class.....Unless
it's Holly I've no clue who would be trying to identify me....but
Holly already knows I am bluemonkeyfearer.... Unless, I have
a stalker.....mmmmm stalkers. What do you think Herbert? Is
there someone from my art class who's stalking me? Eh, mysterious
b-write person? Are you stalking me????-bluemonkeyfearer mu
Did you see how I was all protective of you to them? See what
a good sock monkey friend I was? You should come over for hugs
now! Stalkers can be scary sometimes. Sometimes they can be
fun though and will send you lovely things in the mail to play
with. One time I got some elastics and a little packet of shampoo.
It was great! Would you like me to stalk you bluemonkeyfearer?
I could follow you around and leave hugs on your doorstep. What
fun we could have! I could even build you things and mail them
to you. Mail is fun!
how many times in a row can
you jackoff?...*silly bastard*
That really depends on the day, and how rough I get with myself.
Also, if I'm tired due to lack of sleep, or don't eat every
few hours, then I won't be able to all that much.
Pie pie pie. If you were god,
would give humans the gift of Pie or would you keep all the
pie to yourself ?-me *hug*
I thought we got rid of them all! Sigh. It's ok, let's get rid
of any left over and start again. You CAN do it. Just get through
the next few months and I promise it will all get better. Yes
pie can be good, but you've taken it too far. It's time to let
go. I'll hold you until you stop shaking.
If I lick my shin, will it
heal faster ?-me *hug*
Not if you have pie in your mouth! That would be dirty and yes,
also yummy. But no, don't do it!
My mother says that if a bonfire
ever starts in her ashtray then we can roast marshmallows. Doesn't
that sound like fun?-bluemonkeyfearer
Marshmallows over ashes? Well if it were emptied of the ashes,
filled with pieces of wood and then lit on fire, that would
be a great deal of fun indeed! If she didn't say you couldn't
do that, then you should! Yay, marshmallows! Can I come over
and have some? Will you help me lick them out of my fur?
Does b_write really think that
V-town sucks? I mean, I know that there are scary hearts everywhere,
but I was born here and have no choice but to live here (at
least until I graduate) and the thought that anyone thinks my
happy town sucks makes me cry... will you hold me? P.S.
is b_write a he, she, or both??? And how did he-she-it discover
TheInsaneDomain? Was it the random pieces of paper that say
"Spread the insanity" and Theinsanedomain.com on them that I
strategically leave around the school?-bluemonkeyfearer
V-town? V-town is being pelted with TheInsaneDomain.com stuff?
Sounds like a fun place, how come I'm not there? Can I come
visit? I think it sounds like a fun place to be. There are art
classes, V's, and papers with fun messages on them! I will be
a great addition to the town, can I start packing now?
Why does my brother do annoying
things to the point where we are screaming our fool heads off
for him to stop? McDiablo
My brother does that too, and did you notice they like to hog
all the attention for themselves? It's always "look at
me, look how cool I am, look at the cool shit I can do".
I hate that. It makes you wish you could trick them into going
away forever and when everyone forgets about them then they'll
see how cool you are, and always were. I say you slap duct tape
on his mouth and put an end to it all.
I seem to get overly excited
(not turned on) about nunchucks. Do you have any weapons that
get you all, "Woo, those are so cool!!!"? McDiablo
Whips. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm whips. The cracking sound they make,
the hot flash of pain they leave across the ass. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm
What did you do yesterday? McDiablo
I hung out in the closet, did some tail playing, did some general
playing, ate some food, rubbed up against some stuff, watched
some tv with poptart, played with my tail again, got sent back
to my closet, finished playing and fell asleep.
vagina is swelling to an enormous size, it left a thick layer
of goo on my wall, how can i stop this before the dog gets caught
in the toaster and all the world frowns upon me for the color
of my skin? -Salabar (the lettuce king)
These are some disturbing things. So much so, that I think you're
lying. That's right, I said it. Lying. You're just trying to
come up with weird stuff to seem insane but you're not fooling
anyone! Just stick to the lettuce for now, they think you're
funny and amusing. That should keep you happy!
do you have every question you
have ever answered archived somewhere? i have asked some glorious
questions of you in the past...the distant past...boy was that
a hoot! -Rocko, the one with the cane
You're confusing me with my brother DC. I'm Herbert! You'll
find that I'm much more fun and amusing than he is. Also, I'm
way more huggable! Go on, give me a squeeze! Yea, that's it.
Answered by: Herbert
are you horny?
I'm soft, horny, hard, cuddly, fuzzy, horny, squishy, firm,
and yes, horny.
Why does being asked the same
question over and over drive you insane eventually?
Thankfully no one has done that to me yet! If they did, I would
have to put my tail in their mouth to silence them and if that
didn't work and they instead bit me, I'd cry and run away. Having
the bit of my tail missing would drive me insane and I'd be
forced to cry every day until I died. So my answer is mostly
no, though yes if given hugs.
your name contains a good word
HERB! I like herbs especially ones that I smokemmm I like whips
too herbert but I like bamboo better nothing like a good couple
of wacks from a piece of bamboo to raise welts and make you
Mmmm what you say sounds interesting, very interesting. In fact,
you're very interesting. Can I watch when this happens to you?
I promise I'll just be all quietlike in the corner. You won't
hear me or anything. Do you have any welts now? Can I see them?
Can I touch them? Can I lick them? Can I rub my tail on them?
if a sock squirrel ate your
nuts would you vomit vanilla corn flakes or shit chocolate crunchies?thathinguywhois
I'd have to do both, as well as spend a great deal of time crying
and bleeding. Then I'd put it all in a big box and see if I
could get someone to eat them. Maybe even I'd eat them if I
got drunk enough. Mmmmm vomited vanilla corn flakes.
I just recieved the poptarts
i bought on Ebay. Now what do I do with them ? They're still
fresh and edible.... and bluebberry, but I don't know if there's
a better use for them yet. Any suggestions ?-me *HUGHUGHUG*
( three hugs )
Well I live with a Poptart! What I do is let him wander around
and I spy on him whenever I'm not watching tv. While commercials
are on, I look sideways at him so my head doesn't move, and
see what he's doing. (He doesn't like it when I stare at him,
so this is what I have to do.) When he's at work, I go through
his stuff, sniff it and then go play with my tail in his shoes.
Since you have two, you'd be able to have one stay at home with
you all the time. You'd have someone to watch all day in between
tv shows! I never even thought to look for some on ebay, but
then again, I don't have enough money yet to bid on things.
Yay, three hugs!
What is your sexual preference?
(eg, bisexual ) -me
I prefer me. Did you see how clever I was there? I do love my
tail, and I bet I'd love yours too if you would just let me
see it. Bisexual sounds fun, let's go with that. I'll have two.
Sorry, but there was no hug
with the last question, so here's two. *HUG* * HUG *
Hey, just what I wanted! Thanks!
Okay Herbert, you can stalk
me. There are people on TV dancing very scarily to bugle music.
Can you come make them stop?-bluemonkeyfearer(hugs for my new
Yay, someone to stalk! I'll start by busing to your house in
the middle of the night and walking by your house to see if
your bedroom light is on. Then, I'll, oh no, I won't tell you,
I'll surprise you! Those people on the TV should stop when you
press the ON/OFF/POWER button, or yank the plug out of the wall.
To silence them forever, beat the TV with a baseball bat or
hockey stick. I'll see you tonight maybe!
can you show someone being fucked
in the booty?
I promised JCP I wouldn't start posting that sorta stuff on
here. She said if I did then she'd chop off my tail and force-feed
it to me. That would not be a very fun thing for me. Just
look at my sock monkey booty instead.
ha, mysterious am i. i'm not
really in your art class. i can't lie anymore... or am i? i
am not in the blue monkey club... sad frown*** but i am happy
to let you know, i am not stalking you. i am just glad to see
what a small world it is. i only knew it was you because in
your little "about me" section where it explains who you are,
it talks about cocroaches and stuff. i knew it was you right
away. well, my question is : I was sitting in my room the other
day, and i thought i saw your shadow herbert. was it you? because
i was really lonely at the time. and i missed you a lot. can
i have my first hug now?
Small world like in that creepy song where children scream and
laugh and, oh that was a Simpsons episode. You saw my shadow!
Tee hee, I was seeing if you were stalking bluemonkeyfearer
so I had to stalk you for a bit. Don't worry I didn't follow
you in the bathroom or anything <blushes> I wouldn't do
THAT. Unless there was a closet in the bathroom for me to peek
out of and you were in a shower. Mmmmm showers. Next time I'll
let you know I'm there and we can play together. Oh and yes,
you can most definitely have your hug now.
HOW IS HELIUM BAD FOR PEOPLE
It causes balloons to go insane and kill! Rent/find Billy's
Balloon by Don Hertzfeldt and you'll see why. It's funny as
hell, but shows the true nature of what helium does.
Which would you rather do.............get
eaten by crocodiles, or slide down a 1000 ft long razor naked?
Even though I'm prone to get naked, that's a pretty nasty way
to die. Then again, people would laugh about how huge of a crack
I had, as I'd slide down it on my ass. Yes, I think I'd go with
that. You're not going to make me do that are you? I'd be very
sad indeed if you did.
are there girls out there who say things like, "I NEED a boyfriend.
I NEED to find a man"? These people, to me, either want to procreate
a little too much or just can't stand being around their boring
You're absolutely right McDiablo! You get a hug just for that!
You should bitchslap them and then run away so you don't get
caught. You'd need a fancy getaway van and a 'running away'
song. Imagine the crazy antics you could have doing that! Drive
by slappings! Oh I know you'd do that, you're fun McDiablo;
you'd probably even make a cool costume to go with it. Mmmmm
you getting tired answering questions or are you enjoying yourself?
Oh I'm having tons of fun! JCP said that I'd eventually go mad
like DC did and run away screaming, but this is just great.
I get hugs all the time! Who could possibly turn those down?
Mmmmm hugs. Speaking of mmmms, I went through and read out all
the times I said "mmmmm" about something. That was
pretty fun to do! See, I even have fun reading them over. I
love you all!
Would you ever get a tattoo?
I think it'd be badass if you got one on your tail--or at least
put a temporary one on it. McDiablo
I think it would hurt way too much, so I'd try a temporary one.
Do you think it would make my tail look longer and thicker?
What sort of design do you think I should try?
What is it like living with
no eyebrows and what would it be like if the human race didn't
I never even thought about that. I've never needed them, so
I never thought about it. I think eyebrows are for people to
make silly faces with. What's strange is that people spend lots
of time yanking out their eyebrows. I haven't figured out why
they're doing that, so if you find out then let me know. Maybe
everyone is trying to look like sock monkeys?