Jan 2/05
Answered by: Herbert

Sometimes, when no one is home, I dance around in my panties. Would you be interested in watching me? I wouldn't charge you, but you would have to smack my bottom everynow and then. Venomous
Mmmmmm panties! Wow, you know, all you people are just so nice and sexy. All this time I've been treated like I'm sort of freak for constantly wanting to touch people and their shoes, and all I had to do was go online to find some people and creatures that understood and embraced me. <Wipes away tear.> I would be more than happy to watch you dance around in your panties! I could even rub your back and other parts to say thank you!

I baked a pie for you. It's a new recipe. I call it kitten pie. Would you like to try a piece of my homemade kitten pie? Venomous
Well if there are really kittens in it then I'd have to say no and I'd have to cry some very sad tears. Poor little kittens I'd cry, and maybe you'd cry seeing me cry and agree to never again make kitten pie that makes me cry. Can you make other types of pies? Maybe peanut butter pie, but we'd have to have small pieces or else I'd get tons of it in my fur and you'd have to help me lick it out. Mmmmm licking my fur. Peanut butter pie it is, I'll bring some large plates.

Lets say, for some unknown reason, you're on an expedition in Antarctica. Your friend is the only one with you. Along the way, you get trapped in some sort of ice cave, due to a blizzard. You manage to start a fire, being the man that you are. So you're pretty warm, but your friend starts complaining of a tingling in his left arm. When you look at it, you notice there are blisters all over it. He has frostbite. A few days have passed, and by this time you're starving. You've already eaten all of your supplies. You take another look at his arm and you notice that it is becoming gangrenous. You know that if you don't sever his left arm and cauterize the wound, your friend will surely die from the infection. So you proceed to do so. After the agony of your first operation, you are very hungry. You take a look at his left arm, lying on the ice like some sort of fresh fish that was just pulled from the ocean. May I remind you, that it is covered with gangrene. Do you eat it? If you do eat it, do you cook it over the fire and wait for your friend to wake up so you can share it with him? Would you tell him that he is eating his left arm, or would you tell him it's some sort of animal you managed to kill and cook? Venomous
The polite thing to do would be to tell him what I was considering. If he agreed, then I'd cook it up and share it with him, being careful to get rid of the bits that look very nasty and infected. Since I'm probably not a good surgeon (I would have puked several times from having to cut off their arm already.) my friend would probably die, I'd ask him if it were ok if I ate his body afterwards. Even if he said no, I'd probably still eat him, as if he's dead, he's fair game. Of course I'd be crying the whole time I ate him, as that would be a very sad situation where I was being forced to eat my own friend. I'd also be very glad that I wasn't trapped with JCP, as she would have gutted me like Hans Solo did to that dinosaur looking thing out in the snow and sleep in my corpse.

have you guys ever fucked each other
I'm not really sure who else you're talking about so just go here to see the photos.

do you often think what the meaning of life is, if there even is a meaning? scarley
Sometimes I think about it while I'm just lying around somewhere, alone and quiet. JCP used to tell me all about how there are planets and stuff out there, and that sounds like some pretty amazing stuff. It makes me happy that I can't do anything that will mess up all that going on out there. (And let's be honest, your monkey race can't mess all that up either, just this planet maybe.) So I figure if I'm a nice sock monkey who makes others feel happy instead of sad or hurt then I don't need a meaning at the moment.

What makes shoes so interesting ? I know you do have a shoe fetish, but I'm curious as to what's so special aboutthe shoes. Not putting you down or anything. -me*HUG*
Oh their shapes are what I like most. Some have crisscrossy straps, buckles and mmmmmmm tie up to the knees or higher. Also, they come in many different colors, and some are very shiny! I know not everyone likes them, so thank you for being nice about it. Just because I like them, sometimes people get freaked out. JCP and Poptart don't understand why I like shoes, but that's because they only have two or three pairs each, and none of them are very fancy.

Do you ejaculate out of your tail ?-me*HUG*
<Giggles.> It's best not to give that sort of thing too much thought. Don't you worry though, I won't get a mess on you if you want to play with my tail.

my erection is blue can i lick you?thathinguywhois
You're such a poet! Did you realize that rhymed? It did! I'm so impressed, of course you can lick me. I'll even lick you till you're no longer blue too. That sorta rhymed too! What a poetic licking pair me make. Maybe we could even sell books filled with tail rubbing poems for others to use when touching their own tails. You could take photos of me and we'll put them in the book. That'd be a lot of fun, let's try that tonight.

Why do people keep calling me crazy? I don't think I am. Neither do I. InsaneEvilBarbieMelter
Don't believe what others tell you. I was always told how pathetic I was for liking shoes so much, and constantly called a creepy pervert. So I went into peoples rooms while they were asleep and would rub my tail on their faces, but come on, that's not the same as rubbing my tail on their naked body parts while they were sleeping. (I only did that a few times anyways. I was curious, not a creepy pervert.) I say you tell those people to shut up!

Why are people SO obsessed over guys that they were with for like 2 months and then SHE dumped HIM and then they go on about how much they want to be with him? I think its a bit sad -hufflebunny
It's very sad, but that's what people are like sometimes. It's best to just stay away from them until they smarten up or give them tons of hugs until they feel better or just say they feel better to make you stop hugging them so much. Either way, you might get them to give you more than a hug, and that's when you need to call me. If they're mean to you, tell me and I'll kick some major ass for you hufflebunny! You deserve hugs, not people whining about stupid shit.

Hi gorgeous. Have you ever thought about coming to England? You could stop with me, we could have so much fun! We could hug, and rub each others tails, roll in the hay, drink tea and eat crumpets! It would be wonderful! You could be my Lois Lane! Superman Dave. xxx
Oh wow, really? Could I wear her shoes? That'd be fun! You'd get to wear tights and a cape, how exciting for you! You'd be my personal superhero as well as the world's superhero. Wow! This is great!

Do you speak Japanese? Superman Dave. *rubs his tail*
No I don't, I'm not smart enough for multiple languages. If you spoke it, maybe I'd be able to learn. You're just so super talented (besides being superhero) that if anyone can teach a crazy little monkey like me, it'd be you. Mmmmm thanks for the tail rub!

What's the best way to pickle a traffic cone? I inherited an ancient incan recipe for doing it, but I can't read it, so I hope you can help. Superman Dave. xxx
What a great idea! I can't believe I never thought of that! I would bet that McDiablo has though. I don't know why but she strikes me as the sort of person who finds traffic cones amusing.

I hope you have a super evening...this is not a question...just a request......i miss you already and you are not even gone... downunder
You miss me already? Where am I going? Have you been talking to Poptart? He promised he wouldn't kick me out until after the winter. Stop scaring me, that's not very nice at all. I'll buy him pizza tonight, that will make him happier with me.

When is the world going to end?-bluemonkeyfearer
Hi bluemonkeyfearer! I was wondering where you had gone, it has been awhile since you've written me. Is it because I tried to touch your bottom again even after you had said to stop already because your parents were watching? If it's because of the mess I made in your closet, well I tried to clean it up best I could. Do you forgive me? Hopefully the world doesn't end before you forgive me. That would be a very sad event and I'd be forced to cry a lot. Can I give you a welcome back hug?

Boos on the new article BOOS!, JcP Has disappointed so many with portraying Paperclips in such a negative light! I'll have you know they are not all naive, sexless, floozes... Mine happen to be the most delightful and entartaining ... BOOS for the caliousness Jcp!Rarely does the fine specimen of paperclips recieve attention or respect for thier contributions.... Why didnt you take the oppertunity to honour them, rather just be egotistical with no goal...... What are your thoughts on this urgent matter, herbert?-NOO!
You're funny! <Giggles> Maybe you live where there are smart and sexy paper clips. You should send some of them to her and she can have an interview with them. My thoughts are that paper clips are fun and shiny! Many times I've helped them link together just for fun. I wonder how many have been made and which is the oldest. Maybe someone collects them, wait a minute, are you a paper clip collector? Can I see them?

What if you dreamed that you really really REALLY had to poop....but couldn't. Then...you woke up with your fist stuck up your butt....and you can't get it out. What would you do?
At first I'd probably just quiver and maybe see if it felt good at all to have my fist up there. After that, well I'd cry for Poptart to come help me remove it. (Hopefully he hadn't left for work, and isn't angry at me for doing something in his shoes.) If he refused or wasn't there to help, well then I'd try to relax and hopefully once I'm less tense, my fist will come easily out of my ass.

If you were wandering around lost, how would you know where to get directions from? Venomous
Oh I'd ask everything, even the trees. Even if the directions are wrong, at least I'd have something to focus on. Having wrong directions are better than no directions any day. The only types of tree I wouldn't ask are Fir trees. I'm not sure why, but I'm pretty sure that, given the opportunity, Fir trees would lie to a lost sock monkey.

Where can I get treatment for my Flannel Fetish? ruthiford
Mmmm flannel. Come here, I'll help you explore it. We could have flannel furniture, clothing, bedsheets, pillows, towels and even flowing flannel capes! Mmmmmmm that'd be fun.

Jan 5/05
Answered by: Herbert

What does it all mean??? and when i say all i am of course talking about the zappatista rebelion and Mexican tyranny, and also the color mauve. ~BluePig
Tyranny, is that a dinosaur related to the TRex? Zappatista? Is that a dinosaur too? Dinosaurs have big teeth. Wolves have big teeth too. I wonder how easy it would be for wolves to eat through furniture. You know, just put out a sofa and let them tear through it. Maybe you'd have to hide meat in there though, as I don't think wolves would attack a sofa for no reason. I wonder if there are mauve wolves. I doubt it. I bet there were mauve dinosaurs though. It seems like the sort of thing they'd do.

My cat seems depressed that X-mas is over. She liked sitting under the tree and watching/derailing the mini train that ran around it. What should we do to make her feel better? McDiablo
You should set up a tree in your room or livingroom for her to sit under. You might even be able to find a smaller one just for her, as many places are now selling off their xmas stuff at lower prices. You should also set up the train for her, or get a few of them so you can keep her amused. It's the nice thing to do.

Got any cures for a mucus-filled cough? McDiablo
Well if you'd like, I could reach inside your throat and pull all the mucus out. If you don't like that idea, um, well I don't have any others. Normally when I'm sick I just whine and complain until someone knocks me out using medicine or their fist.

How much of a photo whore will I become seeing that I now have a digital camera? McDiablo
You will fill your harddrive with strange photos of stuff that only you (and your friends) find amusing (well and me, if you ever decided to show me some). If your camera has a night shot feature on it, then you'll have fun making strange blurry photos of lights. You will become the finest camera whore around, and all will bow to you. Hail McDiablo!

you play with your tail but not in the hail maneuver through elephants and barf inside pails naked and gleaming screwing footware thats screaming you seem so relieving of secrets and demons.
Whatever sort of drug you are on needs to be shared with the rest of us. On second thought, forget that, as then there would be nothing but nonsense questions. So yea, eat the rest of your drugs and maybe you'll be too confused to type in more so we don't have to deal with this sort of thing.

I was playing ringette in New Brunswick today, and this one player on the other team had a jersey and under her number it said "Fish on Wheels,"for some odd reason. Was this inspired by JCP's thoughts about the future of fish? -Hufflebunny
Woah! Maybe! You should have asked that girl about that. Maybe she would give you some fish on wheels of your very own! Hey, JCP put a drawing with that article! I hadn't seen that before. Very sneaky JCP.

*gasp* is it Deja Vu? Or did you forget to put up a new What ifs and Questionnaire? I'm sorry if I spelled questionnaire wrong. -hufflebunny
Sometimes if you visit a website every day, it gets cashed in your browser. This means you need to hit 'refresh' when you visit those sites, so that new stuff can be seen.

What time will you be coming to my house for peanut butter pie? Venomous
Oh YUM! I'll leave for your place right now and just wait outside until it's ready! Should I bring anything along? Whipped cream maybe? Wow, think of all the fun we'll have!

Why are the penguins watching me? Watching me? Watching me? Watching me? Watching me? Green. Watching me?
You repeat yourself a lot so maybe they're watching and waiting for you to stop, or maybe wondering when you'll eat that thing they left out for you to eat so you'll explode and then they can laugh at you.

Results! Results! Results! We need results and we need them now, quick easy and on time. And once this task is completed you will be given an extra bonus Question! Yeess... And it WILL be definitly worth it. So could you steal a bunch of Jcp's provisions from her house or whenever she happens to be around and snatch whatever is in her pocket.. and she'll get the clue. Oh and The results posted can minimize your hits! Yeh...well I spose thats the upside but... you know there is always the obvious down side.. THIS. oh and let me have some of Jcp's possesions, I bet she owns alot of sharp items... with pornographic Sm imagery all over them... Um, Not that this rrrrrreally *glances around nervously* matters the life to me,... just you know lack of think ability.. to form more then bare anticipation like a tit for a 1 year...uuuuuuhhhhhh old and pimply grotesque 15 year old boy. Oh, And the question... Will you do it?-Nhos
Well I think it's great that JCP got them done so quickly considering it's the holidays. If you wanted them updated RIGHT AWAY, then you should pay her to do it quickly. I heard her saying once that people like to complain about stuff just for the sake of complaining. I guess that's true. Next time I see her (if she lets me), I will give her a big hug and thank her for all the time and work she puts into this website.

If I get a hug out of the deal, then sure I forgive you! The reason I have not been online, well, Christmas break. Escape from school, sleep till noon, be lazy, mmmmmm laziness. I assure you that I will be diligently present on the Insane Domain after my return to school. Does this comfort you?-bluemonkeyfearer
Oh yes I feel much better now. I was worried that you hated me and then I'd have to cry and cry until I was soaked with tears and turned moldy. I hope you enjoyed your vacation bluemonkeyfearer! I'd like to go be lazy now, but I still have some questions to answer, and it makes me feel all loved to have this many people to reply to.

The weird guy mutated into a clock!!!!! What is the meaning of this?????-bluemonkeyfearer
What are you, oh wait, the main page! Oh yes, I noticed that changed as well. The last few times it's changed, it's been at the beginning of the month. Maybe this is a new thing, where we get a new graphic to look at each month. Yay!

i like sex a lot. and sometimes, i wonder if you would ever be interested in talking about sex with me sometime... ~b_write
Sure! That'd be fun and super. We could even discuss positions and maybe try a few out to see if they work or not. Maybe we could even write a book and make money off it, what do you think? I think it'd be great!

If I were a bowl of ice cream, would you eat me? Venomous
Even if you weren't a bowl of ice cream, I'd gladly eat you. Hopefully you don't give me brain freeze though, or worse yet, frostbite on my tail. If you don't do that to me then I'll gladly eat you.

is the grass really greener on the other side? QM666
Sometimes yes. Other times, no it just looks greener. The best thing to do is to tear down all fences and things that separate grass so that it's all the same big patch of green instead of us all being forced to compare and pick sides.

Do sock monkeys need to breath ? If not, then couldn't you all like form some kind of aquatic monkey city underwater ? -me*hug*
Hmm, I never gave that much thought. I'm sure there are aquatic monkeys out there, maybe deep in the oceans swimming around and having fun. That makes me want to go play with them too. I'd have to find myself a sock monkey wet suit though. In fact, I'll make us both wet suits and we'll go look for them ourselves.

What did you have ?-me *hug*
What did I have for what? Thanks for the hug though! I have a nice closet to hang out in for now, as there is a dog named Stanley visiting with Poptart and Stanley doesn't like monkeys like me. In my closet there are some shoes (of course) and some clothes for me to curl up in. Once Stanley leaves, I will have more room.

If I was painlessly insane would that be inane?or would that really be sane and I could take a doctorate in psycology so I could cure insanity or would that be insane?thathinguywhois
Hello thathinguywhois. Hmm, now is your name 'tha thin guy who is'? What is 'tha' mean? How confusing. I think that it's your way of trying to be insane and confuse people. If you really think you could get a doctorate then I say go for it. It will probably help you feel better about things, or at the very least, figure out how to trick people into giving you pieces of paper that say you can judge others sanity. I'd like a paper like that, can you get me one too?

I don't make New Year's resolutions, but I did make a goal: I wanted to clean out my closet. Well, it's only been 3 and 3/4 days into 2005 and I've already done it. What should I do now? McDiablo
Wow, good job McDiablo! I say you make a resolution to take Emerald out each week and get a slurpee. That way you can spend some quality time with her outside, and maybe she'll meet some sock monkey friends. Then, you can send those friends to me, as there is plenty of room in the closet with me. You and Emerald can come too!

Why won't this illness I have just leave me and burn in hell? McDiablo
I have no idea! I've heard of a few people being ill lately and that's sad. If I could hug you and make it go away, I would. Awwww isn't that nice of me? Yea, I'm like that. Now we both deserve hugs! I won't squeeze too tight though, it might make you puke.

What can i do if there is this really sexy sock monkey, who will remain unnamed at the present, and i want to ask them to a sock-hop formal, (don't ask),,,,? But i don't want to seem all needy or like a slut. What can i do? Eva Dilema
I don't see how you'd look like a slut for asking someone to a sock-hop, a sock-BOP maybe, but not a sock hop. Just walk up to them and ask them if they'd like to go with you. If they give you any problems or anything, just tell me and I'll kick their ass. If you ask and get it over with quickly, they either say yes (and you save your happy dancing till out of eye shot) or they no and you just say 'ok' and walk away like it didn't matter anyways. A slut. Hmm, well I guess if you dress like one then they might think you are, but if you don't dress like one, I wouldn't worry about it.

Hey!!! what happened to www.HerbertSucksCock.com??? Huh huh?
What? That's not something I've heard of. I do have some photos that could be that but I know they're not online. I think you're just trying to confuse me somehow.

ok, so i think that Bluemonkeyfearer and i are from the same town. and we are in the same art class. i think i've narrowed it down and she's kinda crazy, but i admire that. I mean, come on aren't we crazy ones, the sane ones? anyways. i just wanted to ask if you could find out if we are from the same town? i'll just say this to make a hint to him/her. V-Town sucks. --b_write
Do you have a crush on her? Do you have one on me? How did you track her down to here? Maybe she needs to be worried about you following her around school now and asking for her autograph. I should maybe go with her to protect her if needed, and then I too can be in your art class! Wouldn't that be great? I could paint nudes of people. Anyone willing to volunteer?

if i asked you to sleep with me, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question??? - b_write
Oh yes. Come on over (when you're done stalking bluemonkeyfearer) and we'll have a great time sleeping and playing and such. In fact, see if bluemonkeyfearer wants to come along.

Who is your mother/creator ? Were they a good guardian?-me *hug*
My mom is my creator! She was really nice and everything. I always thought she loved DC more, but she'd say she had no favorites. Well if she had no favorites, why was he given the biggest slices of pie when we had it? Why did he get a bigger room than I did? Why did he get to go out later than I did? Then again, I did get way more hugs from her, as I'm just more cuddly. I guess that makes up for it.

are cops as dumb as they look?
Some of them are. The rest are just shaped out of clay and corn flakes. Don't believe me? Bite into one sometime and you'll see.

How pleased am I to get three good answer awards in this months probing (hehe! probing!) questionnaire/ what if?!?! P.S. Thank you for getting them up so quickly guys, I assume most people think you don't have anything else to do over the holiday season! Superman Dave *appreciateve hugs*
Wow, three! Good job Dave! I'll tell JCP you said thanks, I'm sure she'll be happy to hear something nice like that. I'll even pass on your hugs to her if she lets me when she visits Poptart next.

Dear Mr Herbert Sextail, I know that you're clever, so I know you'll be able to answer me where my brother failed. You know that if you drop a cat it always lands on its feet? And you know if you drop a piece of buttered bread/toast it always lands butter side down? What therefore happens if you strap a piece of toast butter side up to the back of cat and then throw it out of a window? Does it just hover above the ground and begin to rotate faster and faster until it explodes? Or does it just land on its side? Or fly away? Superman Dave
Herbert Sextail! <Blushes> You're so funny Dave, you make me giggle! The cat would land on it's feet, as a cat is more important than any piece of toast out there. If you threw a cat out the window, I'd be forced to hunt you down and do unfun things to you. Instead, I suggest you butter some toast and jam it in your brothers eyes and then see if he falls facedown or faceup when he screams in anguish and falls to the ground.

Hi monkey licker. How do peole type so fast without looking? Wouldn't it be cool to just think it and it came up on the screen!?!? But then you wouldn't need to type anything! You could just telepathise (is that even a word?) and not need to worry about any other means of communication! And then you'd know what im thinkin about doing to you with the industrial size vat of mayo I got for Christmas. XXXXXX Superman Dave
It's called 'touch typing'. Some have taken typing/keyboarding classes, and others have just spent too much time online chatting. Either way, it's an impressive trick and I suggest you learn to type like that too. I don't want telepathy computers, as there are way too many things I think that should not be released from my head. Mmmm, doing naughty things to me with mayo.

did you know that if we put a s on the front of your name it spells sherbert? thathinguywhois
No I didn't! What I have noticed is that if you change the H to a P and the B to a V, then you've got a fun new word that can also be used to describe me! Aren't we clever? We figured this stuff out while the rest of them are sitting there dumbstruck. Ok well maybe not but it was fun for a bit, wasn't it?

Jan 8/05
Answered by: Herbert

Are you stupid? ~I like chickens~
Sometimes yes, very stupid! That happens when I don't think before I do something. It happens quite a bit still, but I think that maybe I'm starting to smarten up. Maybe? Ok, probably not but I can still try.

Which is better: the Indiana Jones theme or the Star Wars theme? I think the Indiana Jone theme because I always want to get off my ass, find treasure and shot Nazis when I hear it. When I hear the Star Wars ones, I can never find people with swords made of light and guys in white armour. - Mzebonga
You are right about the Indiana theme inspiring getting off one's ass, however the Star Wars theme prompts me to get off my ass and march around menacingly. It's more of a loner theme, whereas Indiana Jones inspires you to seek out allies to conquer the impending doom or evil of some sort. You don't need to find others to fight along with when you're a Jedi. If I were a Jedi, I'd go find Yoda and give him a spanking, or better yet, have him spank ME! Spank will he indeed! Come along Mzebonga, you can be the droid! I wonder what Yoda has under those robes of his. Green skin everywhere? Green pubic hair? Does he refer to himself as 'THE FORCE'? Mmmmm force.

ha, i just realized you answered these today :) yey. bluemonkeyfearer, hi. i will prolly never tell her anything in public that i am on this thing too. due to the fact i am shallow, and i don't like talking. ha. ne ways. the question. If I was in the middle of a cloud, and all the sudden a rainbow fell across it and i slid down it. what do you think i would find at the bottom? a pot of gold or a pot of anything because that is way too into the norms...i hate norms...and mr. renning. b_write
You're not going to start following her around and stuff are you? If you do, make sure you stay harmless or I'll be forced to give you a spanking that won't be fun for you at all. Were you hired by the blue monkeys to keep tabs on her so they can arrange elaborate ways to scare her and have her make balloon animals for them? Oh yes, your question. I don't believe in these pots of gold at the end of rainbows. Who would put gold there if they knew everyone was going to come and try to take it? I think it's a distraction method. Hey look at the pretty rainbow while we go do evil stuff over here behind you. Yea, sounds pretty fishy to me too. If anything, you might find those bubblegums or chocolates that are covered with gold looking foil. I wouldn't mind sharing them either, so you can have some too.

Has anyone else bought fourty pies from McDonald's at one time ? ( and yes by ELSE i mean I have ) -me*HUG*
I would hope not. Poor me, are you trying to kill yourself with pies? Don't do it! Step away from the pies! It will all be okay. That's right, you can cry on Herbert, I understand. Let's just throw those away. Maybe tomorrow you can start eating better with a real apple and some peanut butter. Yea, it's ok, you'll feel better in a few weeks. Just get through the withdraw stage and you'll be fine. That's right. Let us never speak of that awful place again.

why do people make websites with little letters with a balck background is it to keepp us from understanding what we are reading
Oh yes, and to trick you into clicking on things. Before you know it, they have your credit card numbers, your blood type, and a single piece out of every jigsaw puzzle you own. It's scary and it's true.

Why do you like the smell of your own poo?
It's mine, that's why. I like everything about me, even my own poo. It tells me that I'm working as I should. One time the poo stopped and I had to dig it out. After that it was ok and I was glad to smell my poo that day.

why do people send insane questions with things like "oh, look at my monkey butt award" when obviously, you won't give them an award.-Hufflebuny
I think they just like typing the word butt. Sometimes I think maybe they're being bossy. If it were me giving out the awards, I'd come up with a 'nice try idiot' award for those that try to get the butt award. Haha, butt.

What is it like, living without eyebrows? What would the human race be like if we didn't have eyebrows? -Hufflebunny

I was looking at the fire extinguisher in my house and it had a sticker saying "Non-Flammable." Does the economics industry think that all consumers are morons? -Hufflebunny
Oh yes, it's built on that very fact, and then told to the consumers to encourage them to be that way. It's easier for them to tell us stuff if we're stupid. Good thing we're smarter than that Hufflebunny!

Hmmm my art class.....Unless it's Holly I've no clue who would be trying to identify me....but Holly already knows I am bluemonkeyfearer.... Unless, I have a stalker.....mmmmm stalkers. What do you think Herbert? Is there someone from my art class who's stalking me? Eh, mysterious b-write person? Are you stalking me????-bluemonkeyfearer mu ha ha
Did you see how I was all protective of you to them? See what a good sock monkey friend I was? You should come over for hugs now! Stalkers can be scary sometimes. Sometimes they can be fun though and will send you lovely things in the mail to play with. One time I got some elastics and a little packet of shampoo. It was great! Would you like me to stalk you bluemonkeyfearer? I could follow you around and leave hugs on your doorstep. What fun we could have! I could even build you things and mail them to you. Mail is fun!

how many times in a row can you jackoff?...*silly bastard*
That really depends on the day, and how rough I get with myself. Also, if I'm tired due to lack of sleep, or don't eat every few hours, then I won't be able to all that much.

Pie pie pie. If you were god, would give humans the gift of Pie or would you keep all the pie to yourself ?-me *hug*
I thought we got rid of them all! Sigh. It's ok, let's get rid of any left over and start again. You CAN do it. Just get through the next few months and I promise it will all get better. Yes pie can be good, but you've taken it too far. It's time to let go. I'll hold you until you stop shaking.

If I lick my shin, will it heal faster ?-me *hug*
Not if you have pie in your mouth! That would be dirty and yes, also yummy. But no, don't do it!

My mother says that if a bonfire ever starts in her ashtray then we can roast marshmallows. Doesn't that sound like fun?-bluemonkeyfearer
Marshmallows over ashes? Well if it were emptied of the ashes, filled with pieces of wood and then lit on fire, that would be a great deal of fun indeed! If she didn't say you couldn't do that, then you should! Yay, marshmallows! Can I come over and have some? Will you help me lick them out of my fur?

Does b_write really think that V-town sucks? I mean, I know that there are scary hearts everywhere, but I was born here and have no choice but to live here (at least until I graduate) and the thought that anyone thinks my happy town sucks makes me cry... will you hold me? P.S. is b_write a he, she, or both??? And how did he-she-it discover TheInsaneDomain? Was it the random pieces of paper that say "Spread the insanity" and Theinsanedomain.com on them that I strategically leave around the school?-bluemonkeyfearer
V-town? V-town is being pelted with TheInsaneDomain.com stuff? Sounds like a fun place, how come I'm not there? Can I come visit? I think it sounds like a fun place to be. There are art classes, V's, and papers with fun messages on them! I will be a great addition to the town, can I start packing now?

Why does my brother do annoying things to the point where we are screaming our fool heads off for him to stop? McDiablo
My brother does that too, and did you notice they like to hog all the attention for themselves? It's always "look at me, look how cool I am, look at the cool shit I can do". I hate that. It makes you wish you could trick them into going away forever and when everyone forgets about them then they'll see how cool you are, and always were. I say you slap duct tape on his mouth and put an end to it all.

I seem to get overly excited (not turned on) about nunchucks. Do you have any weapons that get you all, "Woo, those are so cool!!!"? McDiablo
Whips. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm whips. The cracking sound they make, the hot flash of pain they leave across the ass. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm ass.

What did you do yesterday? McDiablo
I hung out in the closet, did some tail playing, did some general playing, ate some food, rubbed up against some stuff, watched some tv with poptart, played with my tail again, got sent back to my closet, finished playing and fell asleep.

my vagina is swelling to an enormous size, it left a thick layer of goo on my wall, how can i stop this before the dog gets caught in the toaster and all the world frowns upon me for the color of my skin? -Salabar (the lettuce king)
These are some disturbing things. So much so, that I think you're lying. That's right, I said it. Lying. You're just trying to come up with weird stuff to seem insane but you're not fooling anyone! Just stick to the lettuce for now, they think you're funny and amusing. That should keep you happy!

do you have every question you have ever answered archived somewhere? i have asked some glorious questions of you in the past...the distant past...boy was that a hoot! -Rocko, the one with the cane
You're confusing me with my brother DC. I'm Herbert! You'll find that I'm much more fun and amusing than he is. Also, I'm way more huggable! Go on, give me a squeeze! Yea, that's it. Mmmmmmmmmmmm hugs.

Jan 11/05
Answered by: Herbert

are you horny?
I'm soft, horny, hard, cuddly, fuzzy, horny, squishy, firm, and yes, horny.

Why does being asked the same question over and over drive you insane eventually?
Thankfully no one has done that to me yet! If they did, I would have to put my tail in their mouth to silence them and if that didn't work and they instead bit me, I'd cry and run away. Having the bit of my tail missing would drive me insane and I'd be forced to cry every day until I died. So my answer is mostly no, though yes if given hugs.

your name contains a good word HERB! I like herbs especially ones that I smokemmm I like whips too herbert but I like bamboo better nothing like a good couple of wacks from a piece of bamboo to raise welts and make you bleed.thathinguywhois
Mmmm what you say sounds interesting, very interesting. In fact, you're very interesting. Can I watch when this happens to you? I promise I'll just be all quietlike in the corner. You won't hear me or anything. Do you have any welts now? Can I see them? Can I touch them? Can I lick them? Can I rub my tail on them?

if a sock squirrel ate your nuts would you vomit vanilla corn flakes or shit chocolate crunchies?thathinguywhois
I'd have to do both, as well as spend a great deal of time crying and bleeding. Then I'd put it all in a big box and see if I could get someone to eat them. Maybe even I'd eat them if I got drunk enough. Mmmmm vomited vanilla corn flakes.

I just recieved the poptarts i bought on Ebay. Now what do I do with them ? They're still fresh and edible.... and bluebberry, but I don't know if there's a better use for them yet. Any suggestions ?-me *HUGHUGHUG* ( three hugs )
Well I live with a Poptart! What I do is let him wander around and I spy on him whenever I'm not watching tv. While commercials are on, I look sideways at him so my head doesn't move, and see what he's doing. (He doesn't like it when I stare at him, so this is what I have to do.) When he's at work, I go through his stuff, sniff it and then go play with my tail in his shoes. Since you have two, you'd be able to have one stay at home with you all the time. You'd have someone to watch all day in between tv shows! I never even thought to look for some on ebay, but then again, I don't have enough money yet to bid on things. Yay, three hugs!

What is your sexual preference? (eg, bisexual ) -me
I prefer me. Did you see how clever I was there? I do love my tail, and I bet I'd love yours too if you would just let me see it. Bisexual sounds fun, let's go with that. I'll have two.

Sorry, but there was no hug with the last question, so here's two. *HUG* * HUG *
Hey, just what I wanted! Thanks!

Okay Herbert, you can stalk me. There are people on TV dancing very scarily to bugle music. Can you come make them stop?-bluemonkeyfearer(hugs for my new stalker)
Yay, someone to stalk! I'll start by busing to your house in the middle of the night and walking by your house to see if your bedroom light is on. Then, I'll, oh no, I won't tell you, I'll surprise you! Those people on the TV should stop when you press the ON/OFF/POWER button, or yank the plug out of the wall. To silence them forever, beat the TV with a baseball bat or hockey stick. I'll see you tonight maybe!

can you show someone being fucked in the booty?
I promised JCP I wouldn't start posting that sorta stuff on here. She said if I did then she'd chop off my tail and force-feed it to me. That would not be a very fun thing for me. Just look at my sock monkey booty instead.

ha, mysterious am i. i'm not really in your art class. i can't lie anymore... or am i? i am not in the blue monkey club... sad frown*** but i am happy to let you know, i am not stalking you. i am just glad to see what a small world it is. i only knew it was you because in your little "about me" section where it explains who you are, it talks about cocroaches and stuff. i knew it was you right away. well, my question is : I was sitting in my room the other day, and i thought i saw your shadow herbert. was it you? because i was really lonely at the time. and i missed you a lot. can i have my first hug now?
Small world like in that creepy song where children scream and laugh and, oh that was a Simpsons episode. You saw my shadow! Tee hee, I was seeing if you were stalking bluemonkeyfearer so I had to stalk you for a bit. Don't worry I didn't follow you in the bathroom or anything <blushes> I wouldn't do THAT. Unless there was a closet in the bathroom for me to peek out of and you were in a shower. Mmmmm showers. Next time I'll let you know I'm there and we can play together. Oh and yes, you can most definitely have your hug now.

It causes balloons to go insane and kill! Rent/find Billy's Balloon by Don Hertzfeldt and you'll see why. It's funny as hell, but shows the true nature of what helium does.

Which would you rather do.............get eaten by crocodiles, or slide down a 1000 ft long razor naked? weirdmonker
Even though I'm prone to get naked, that's a pretty nasty way to die. Then again, people would laugh about how huge of a crack I had, as I'd slide down it on my ass. Yes, I think I'd go with that. You're not going to make me do that are you? I'd be very sad indeed if you did.

Why are there girls out there who say things like, "I NEED a boyfriend. I NEED to find a man"? These people, to me, either want to procreate a little too much or just can't stand being around their boring selves. McDiablo
You're absolutely right McDiablo! You get a hug just for that! You should bitchslap them and then run away so you don't get caught. You'd need a fancy getaway van and a 'running away' song. Imagine the crazy antics you could have doing that! Drive by slappings! Oh I know you'd do that, you're fun McDiablo; you'd probably even make a cool costume to go with it. Mmmmm costumes.

Are you getting tired answering questions or are you enjoying yourself? McDiablo
Oh I'm having tons of fun! JCP said that I'd eventually go mad like DC did and run away screaming, but this is just great. I get hugs all the time! Who could possibly turn those down? Mmmmm hugs. Speaking of mmmms, I went through and read out all the times I said "mmmmm" about something. That was pretty fun to do! See, I even have fun reading them over. I love you all!

Would you ever get a tattoo? I think it'd be badass if you got one on your tail--or at least put a temporary one on it. McDiablo
I think it would hurt way too much, so I'd try a temporary one. Do you think it would make my tail look longer and thicker? What sort of design do you think I should try?

What is it like living with no eyebrows and what would it be like if the human race didn't have eyebrows?-Hufflebunny
I never even thought about that. I've never needed them, so I never thought about it. I think eyebrows are for people to make silly faces with. What's strange is that people spend lots of time yanking out their eyebrows. I haven't figured out why they're doing that, so if you find out then let me know. Maybe everyone is trying to look like sock monkeys?

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