Wed September 8
Answered eventually by JCP

Is it okay if i call my older brother a pile of monkey poo? -Jackie
Yes, go ahead.

Stop them? Why would I do that?

The toaster said I was dead but when I asked the coffee maker it said I was alive. Who is lying? Kali
Never believe the toaster. It's just not right. The coffee maker always tells the truth, so listen to it carefully and obey whatever orders it gives you.

there are 2 kinds of people in this world, those who separate the population into 2 kinds and those who don't. Which are you? -Hufflebunny
I'm that other kind that thinks the options given me just aren't good enough.

If you were the last guy on earth and the entire planet of humans (except you) were turned into super model kinky girls that wanted sex badly would you accept 3 conditions?...(answer first!) 1. You are always hard and ready to go. 2. All girls are Lesbian. 3. All pleasure sensors in your entire body are turned into pain sensors. JLP
Super models are too skinny to fuck properly, so I'd have to say no to the conditions. What I would do is chop up the super models and build myself a real girl to fuck.

What would happen if no one asked any questions? Would you just type up fake questions and answer yourself? McDiablo
Well, I'd have to assume that either the Normality Police got to you all, or that DC and I had finally answered ALL the insane questions out there. Perhaps DC wrote in questions to himself, but I haven't done that, and I would probably just enjoy the time off instead of sending in fake questions to answer.

There's got to be a better way of getting shit that's stuck to my cat's fur off, isn't there? We always have to cut it off 'cuz it gets stuck on there pretty bad and she freaks out. I don't blame her, really. But, c'mon, is there a better way? McDiablo
Your parents need to build your cat a separate house just for her. She can run around in it, and a fenced in yard, and within the house, there is to be nothing that would do that to her fur. Before you and your family go to play with her in her house, you'll have to wear special suits and boots as well.

What was your favourite toy when you were, oh, let's pick a random age...nine? McDiablo
I have no idea actually. I'm trying to remember what grade I was even in then, maybe grade 4? Toys? Hmmm. Maybe the Atari.

Why are all of the chairs in this school orange except for the big smushy blue ones meant for the purpose of sitting and sinking into to read?-bluemonkeyfearer
Well, most people do not like orange, or want orange chairs. Therefore, by having the school chairs orange it a) deters people from stealing them for the colors, b) If they are stolen, are immediately identifiable as school chairs. c) If they are stolen, orange is a pretty noticeable color, and is less likely to be snuck by someone. All that aside, the person who picked the color was a cheap bastard and found out orange was cheaper because the company who made the chairs had screwed up an order earlier in the year and was looking to unload all those orange chairs.

Did you mean for this website to become a haven for annoying teenagers who are only pretending to be insane? (this excludes me and a select few of the others)-bluemonkeyfearer
Well I didn't mean for it to become anything really, but hey, it's better then becoming the headquarters of some stupid fanclub for Brittany or something. So keep coming here annoying teenagers who are only pretending to be insane, maybe some real insane people will follow.

What is my name again? Kali

Hey, is DC sexy in real life ? Like not the fake kind, the real one.
I hate that fake kind of sexy. It's such a let down. DC is not the fake kind of sexy.

what yould your name be if you were in a porno? eradano
Mistress Bitch of the Underworld.

"Hello and welcome to the new Medicare mental health hotline. All our operators are currently too lazy to take your call, please hold <5 mins of hold music consisting of "Twisted" by Anne Ross on high rotation> . . . thank you for your patience. To aid us with matching you to the most ridiculously unappropriate and incoherent service operator, please follow the queues. if you suffer from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, please press 1 repeatedly. If you exhibit multiple personalities, please press 2 through 6. If you have paranoiac schizophrenia, if doesn't matter what number you press, we already know where you live. . . . " OK, I've spent 4 valuable minutes typing this and have no bloody clue what I'm actually going to ask. Hmm. Poll: who's pushing your buttons and which button is it? - Fish
There is a certain someone in my life who has pushed all my buttons. I'm in the process of no longer having to deal with them. I'd tell you more, but I'm tired of the whole thing with them and don't want to get into it.

In The Breakfast Club, there's a part where Emilio Estevez's character gets high, runs around like an idiot, closes the door to a room and screams so loudly the glass on the door breaks. That whole 'sceaming so loudly the glass breaks' bit makes my sister laugh everytime. I think it's pretty stupid, to be honest. What do you think she finds so funny about it? McDiablo
Well, in order to break glass with your voice, it has to be a certian pitch. Normally, I think that it's a higher pitched voice/frequency that can do this, so if Emilio can do this, then he's got a girly voice. If I'm wrong, then she's laughing at him because he's an idiot, and it figures that a he'd freak out after only a bit of pot. If you didn't hate him so much, and if you were horribly drunk, I'm sure you'd be laughing right along.

Is it just me, or did the Olympic torch in Athens look like a giant joint? McDiablo
It always does, you POTHEAD. Haha. Just kidding. I know Emerald frowns on that sort of thing, and I'd hate to see you get in trouble.

Do you like bees? McDiablo
No! They want to nest in my hair and fill my ears with buzzing sounds.

When a solipsist has sex is it considered masturbation? Archbishop Shaggy the Mental
Of course.

This is not technically a question, but describe yourself in five and a half words. - Mort.
I'm the world's biggest bit

So you've just bought an icecream. You decide to eat it at your house two feet away. Just as you enter, the Ice-cream man runs off shouting "I'm a girl". Regardless, you turn your back once more and enter your abode with your ice-cream in hand. You suddenly notice that it begins to melt, being August/September and all [depending on when you see this]... what if you begin to lick the ice-cream and find that the ice-cream was in fact a small melting creature who just hung around the ice-cream man because it was deluded and thought it was time to hibernate? Not only that, but you turn your head slightly towards the mirror in your hallway, and the image shows your own face melting like the ice-cream creature that you behold. You only have five seconds before your entire face falls off. What do you do next? - Mort
I'd demand a new ice cream cone with REAL ice cream in it and wait for my face to fall off. Once it's fallen off, I will dig up a skull from the local graveyard, and paste my face to it. Then, I go on tour.

After the ice-cream episode is concluded, a young fellow named Mort finds out where you live and pays you a visit. Would you let this man stay in your home? - Mort
Well, this Mort fellow wrote in complaining about the Questionnaire and What If results not being up after only 2 days. So I would instead make him sleep out on the porch..

When the cats take over the world, will humans be enslaved? If so, what will the cats force us to do, other than obey their every whim?-bluemonkeyfearer
DC has gone into this I'm sure, and I'd hate to get it wrong. Eventually the whole plan will be revealed, and I'd hate to ruin the ending for you.

i'm i a cannibal?
Only on weekends.

Why was I arrested for butchering that drug dealer?
Come on now Michael. You were arrested for putting draino in a needle and injecting him with it, THEN butchering up the drug dealer. It's a good thing you were arrested though. Without someone to hold your string, you'd just float away, and in your case, that means wearing ugly clothing and butchering people YOU made into drug dealers. So suck it up, and yes, you're still fabulous.

If your grandmother jumped into the air and never came down, what would you tell your parents?
I'd tell my mother but my father can shove it.

How hideous will my school picture turn out this year? FartMonkey
No matter what, you'll never be happy with it. Even when it's not half bad you still hate it. I say you just skip out on the whole thing.

Why does my guitar teacher like ferretchick but hate me? FartMonkey
The teacher likes ferrets but not monkeys that fart. I suggest you smash your guitar in rage while screaming at the teacher, and that should solve the problem.

If God posted a question; What would it say?
Same thing that a question from the easter bunny or tooth fairy would write in, none, they don't really exist.

My mom sucks my dad off everynight... should I be jealous?
No you shouldn't. You need to find your own man to suck off, as sucking off your parents and/or relatives is never right.

I really want to suck on a guy's dick, but I'm not gay... What am I?
Someone who thinks they're funny writing stuff like this in. <Rolls eyes.> Seriously, am I supposed to tell you what label you need to go with? Want me to go on about dicks and people sucking each other off? Is that going to make you giggle in delight? Once all your pubic hair finishes growing in, you'll find a nice dick to suck and won't worry about labels or coming up with sad questions like this one again.

I like fucking my pillow better than the couch, but the couch is the most confortable to snuggle with... Which one should I break it off with?
Neither. From now on, fuck the pillow while on the couch. You'll have the best of both worlds, and you'll be surprised at how well they work together to make you happy.

I got caught trying to suck my own dick in class and now everyone calls me "Bendy" and the football team forces me to be their bitch. How do I get a cheerleader to go out with me?
You don't, unless one of the cheerleaders thinks that what you did is pretty cool. Besides, the stereotypical cheerleader isn't worth going after anyways. What you need to do is find a chick who got something stuck when fucking herself with something (like a bottle or something), and had to go the hospital to have it removed. You two could share your hobbies, so she can suck you off and you can jam things into her.

My third nipple is producing milk and it really tastes great. Is this due to poor cloning?
If it tasted BAD it'd be due to poor cloning. You're obviously being bred to create an alternative to cow milk. Well, I guess you could be confused into thinking your dick is a third nipple, but we'll just ignore that thought for now.

If I made a clone of myself would it be gay to give him head?
The matter would be more of it being incest. If that doesn't bother either one of you, then who cares what it's called, just lock the door when you do it.

Why does a horse member look like a man's?
Stop looking at members. You have a problem. Just deal with the size of yours and get over it already.

why do you monkey sock porn?
I don't. I'm not a sock monkey.

What is the point of history class?-bluemonkeyfearer
The point of any highschool class is to try to teach you how to absorb and utilize information. Of course, this is rarely executed properly, so the point then becomes to simply distract you for a few hours to keep you out of the house and off the streets.

Who would win in a fight between a leprechan and a lawn gnome?
A lawn gnome, but those two would never fight.

What do you think minorities might complain about in Heaven?
There is no heaven, so I'd imagine they'd be complaining about that.

i actualy read all that stuff before i entered the insane domain,,,,,,,3-mil!? damn it ya'll, !! I THOUGHT I JUST LEFT THE INSANE DOMAIN......"peri... odd" or, is it just me?---"question mark" yes i did read the rules in red below ,,,thank you very much,,rayyo77
Well we're almost at 3 million so far this year. By the end of the month we'll surpass that. I will be changing those pages soon, so stay tuned.

The past answers for last months questionnaire and What If's is still not up yet [September 2nd 04], why is this? Are you slipping up? Are you delayed? It is not good enough. Out minds NEED insanity. - Mort
You're lucky I haven't figured out exactly which stalker you are outside my window yet, or I'd throw something at you. Writing in after only 2 days of no answers, how demanding. It tempts me to not post yours at all, just so you would cry.

How do we know the sky isn't blue and we're not colourblind? Kali
Well I guess it wouldn't be that we're color blind, but that we don't see the true color of the sky. If we all see the same thing, or so we think, then there is no reason to assume that we'd know there IS a real color that we're not seeing.

If you were a penguin and you learned how to fly, what would you do? -General Sock Penguin
I'd fly to Jupiter and see what's going on.

Sept 16 /04
Answered by: Herbert

My sister is in grade 12 this year, for her final year at high school. one of her teachers seems like a grade 5 teacher. He had mats and pillows in a corner, for a "Reading corner" and plays music while they work. My sister doesn't like her, but I (grade 10) think that'd be great. whats your opinion? -hufflebunny
Wow, that sure sounds like fun hufflebunny! I would love a class like that! Your sister sounds dumb.

Hi, Herbert. What's the word in your hood? McDiablo
Hi McDiablo! Sandles! I love them, and you should love them too! The ones with little buckles aren't so great, but they'll do.

Did you have an enjoyable summer? McDiablo
Yes, it was pretty fun, thank you for asking. I hope you had a good summer too. I would have liked to go camping with JCP more, but she thinks I'm creepy for liking shoes so much.

Lately, i've had really bad pains and cramps in my lower stomache, below my belly button, and it comes and goes. do you think this could be caused by my belly button ring?
Oh yes. You should have that looked at by a doctor, or just take it out and let it heal.

Can toothpaste go stale? FartMonkey
It can and will if left with the cap off. It dries up and then you have no choice but to cry and cry and cry and cry and then go out and get a new one.

Mood rings for emotional girls..why didn't I think of that? FartMonkey
Oooooooh I'd like one! I'm not a girl, but I'm sure they'd work for sock monkeys, right? They'd have to work for everything because they're not called 'human' mood rings. Yay!

What words are "ain't" a contraction of? FartMonkey
It's for people who can't say aren't properly, so it's not actually a contraction of anything. It should be 'are not' but isn't. Aren't contractions fun? See how I cleverly used it in there? Oh yes, great fun!

Do you know what time the beer store opens?
No I don't. You'll have to phone them and ask. Get me some too.

Hello Herbert... Why does JCP not like me anymore? I am ineffably appologetic for any such cause for her not to like me... ... . Tell her that I appologise and shall refrain from stalking her/using her as part of any Satanic ritual. - Mort
Hello Mort! I asked JCP about these rituals and she said she quite enjoys them. She did mutter something about bugging for results or something, but I was playing with her shoes and then she kicked me out of her place again. It's me who JCP doesn't like. Tell her how nice I am and I'll do the same for you.

is the panic explosive? if so how do you deal with it?
I consult the book which says 'DO NOT PANIC' on it. It always makes the ringing bells in my head go away and the panic fades.

are hamsters juicy?
Not if you leave them out in the sun too long. BBQ sauce helps that though, or ketchup.

Herbert.... Do YOU believe that cats will take over the world? - bluemonkeyfearer
Good thing I'm not a blue monkey, or you'd fear me! What if I painted myself blue? I believe whatever the cats tell me to believe, they have nice tails.

Hey herbert. Have you ever done this before ? -me
No I haven't. I did answer an interview from JCP and I'm in some sock monkey porn too. Look at me, spamming you with links. Fun!

COuld you stick your tail imbetween your legs and fuck me in the ass ? I mean, can i borrow a cup of sugar?.... -me
Yes I could! And no, I don't have any sugar here. I do have maple syrup though, can I smear that on you and lick it off? Can you wear some pretty shoes while I lick you?

Why arent you arbitrauy like the rest of them? do you get off on this rebellion?
Oh stop it, you're just silly!

Herbert? oh a sock monkey? hmmm why are you made of sweat socks?
So that I'm super absorbant, durable and warm.

I know who you really are "Herbert"........ It's all just an elaborate plot to keep all of the DC fans visiting the site. Very clever pseudonym...... But not clever enough.. If I didn't know better I would think this whole "DC in hiding" crap was another plot of the damn feline armies.... " OH !!, DOES THEIR PURSUIT OF WORLD DOMINATION KNOW NO BOUNDARIES???".....harbingerofhell
You used a fancy word in there, pseudonym. Pseudonym! I feel all fancy just typing it. Of course I'm not DC, and even if the cats wished it so, it wouldn't be. We are entirely different sock monkeys, haven't you seen the photos of us with Joyce?

How can I achieve my dreams?-ryan
Dream of things like cake and ice cream and then go buy some! It's really that easy. Good luck Ryan!

What is your name?
Herbert. You're not too smart, but that's ok. I'm sure you're trying in your own way. Yay for you!

Where in the world is DC World? - Mort
It's in orbit around Uranus. Oh no wait, it's dead now.

If you pushed a blind man off a mountain, would his life still flash before his eyes? KEL
That'd be a mean thing to do. Why would you want to do that? You'd have to lead him all the way up there, and I'm sure that by the time you got there, you'd be friends and not able to push him over. Awwww, see, making friends saves lives.

are you guys like the sexier, more awesome, athiest, liberal canadian, and over all more stoic "dear abby " people on the web?
Oh I'm sure JCP would like that to be true. I gave you the award for making JCP happy.

Where am I? Kali
Right here!

How can you answer these questions if your a sock monkey? Kali
I just type with my paws like you do!

What are some of Mickey Mouse's possesions?
A hat, um, ask Mickey. I've never hung out with him.

can I mail you meat?thathinguywhois
Sure! Is this a 'meat of the month' club or something? You're so nice!

why don't you just burn?thathinguywhois
You're not very nice at all. I was tricked. Shame on you.

What turns you on more; spoons, squash shaped like Don Kings head, or getting hit in the head with a blunt object? And why? Archbishop Shaggy
Hit in the head, but only if the blunt object is a shoe. Mmmmmmmmm shoes.

you smell like my mommas pussy after she sucks horses why?thathinguywhois
You're a sad little person aren't you? I think you need a hug.

I have a foot fetish i like to lick feet, and have women stand on me and humiliate me. Im also a submissive male who likes to be tied, beaten, tortured etc, i love facesitting, trampling, strapons, and being pissed on, now my question to you is what do you think of this? and do you share any of these fetishs? and can you recomend any porn sites for these thanks -loyal foot stool
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I love shoes! Mmmmmmmmmmm. They're so nice and smooth and shiny and shapely and fun and mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Here.

Out of the 6 questions (questionnaire and What-ifs) I answered last month, I only got ONE good-answer award!! what is the meaning of this injustice????-bluemonkeyfearer
Oh that's sad. Maybe it's to encourage you to dig deeper and come up with some truly wonderful answers like we all know you're capable of.

would you share your concepts of the 'Biblical End Time Prophecies' thanking you. teh Redcoat dot com
It all sounds awfully bad, so I say no to it all. I want fun and happy things to happen!

it hurts when i pee and I ooze green. what can i do about this.
That doesn't sound good at all. Go to the doctor!

how do really fat people whipe they're butts?
I don't know, I'm not a really fat person and I don't watch them wipe their asses. Maybe you should think about better things, like the moon.

what if the easter bunny and santa clause were really alive and just didnt like how kids acted now days so they shoved all the rediculous responsibilities of their duties on parents and grandparents and other peoples? ....
I'd be sad that Santa and the bunny were so angry. I'd go give them hugs and remind them how happy things can be.

Hello Dr. Herbert. Encrusted Ernie
Um this isn't a question Ernie. That's bad.

Did you stick her with yor wang ?
Several dozen times. Wangs are fun!

Is masterbuating good for boys????
It's good for everyone! I'll show you.

How many questions, on average, does The Insane Domain recieve a week? - Mort. (note that is not an insane question, rather due to intrigue).
Hi Mort! You can work the answer out for yourself by counting all the questions answered each time. I know you can do it!

Are you related to DC?
Yes, we're brothers.

why do we only have 3 minutes in between class periods when many other schools have like 5 times that amount? If we are late for a class we get a thirty minute detention, I mean, what is up with that????-bluemonkeyfearer
That sounds pretty evil of your school. I suggest you rebel and get all the kids to sign petitions, and parents too.

Why is everybody pink? Imp
You're stoned! I can smell it from here.

Sept 22 /04
Answered by: Herbert

Is Oprah a pork eating chicken robot from Uranus?
This was confusing to read at first. I had to read it twice! I vote yes.

howdy doody. how many chucks would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? meow
Hi meow! I think that if woodchucks decided to chuck wood that the woodchucks could chuck as much wood as they wanted.

Herbert, you do rock and all. Like really, if you were here, i'd probably have sex with you . But like, I think.wercfSvfgergg..
Wow, I'm honored you'd have sex with me. Where are you?

is your dick as long as your tail? love, buttmunch
Do you really munch on butts? If so, you can munch on my butt, tail, and dick, then tell me yourself!

Whenever I hear the words "how are you?" I shit my pants. What can I do to avoid this inevitably highly embarrassing situation? Am I doomed to live as a hermit?
That sure sounds bad. I'd hate to have that happen to me. If I were you, I'd be very sad. How are you living like that? Oh oh, sorry.

For my language class,Ii have to pretend i'm going on a cross Canada trip. So we make up a fake journal and draw up postcards and tell about what we do in each place we stop. anyhow, When I "drive to" Ontario, where should i stop while there, and what attractins should i go to? Can i visit the insanedomain? =D -Hufflebunny
Sure you can come to TheInsaneDomain. Sign your ass, and take a photo, saying that it was me! We're in a city near Toronto. Since it's for a school project, say you went to Toronto. The CN Tower is fun if you like tall things that just stand there being tall. Here is a webcam link.

How can you click a computer mouse, if you have no fingers? Do you use your tail? -Hufflebunny
Hi again Hufflebunny! I use my tail and my paws to click the mouse. Unless you want to come over and do it for me, I'd like that!

I'm am going to link you. Do I get a prize? Linking as in a weblink... that's not some kind of new age slang for beating you up... at least I think it isn't. I wouldn't want to do that anyway. I love you all so much. Sometimes I love you too much and have to restrain myself. - Mort
That'd be great Mort, just tell JCP and she'll link back in the community section. We love you too. Well, I do. I'll restrain you and love you back if you want. Even if you don't want, I'll still want to.

If someone with very greasy hair, tried to straighten their hair with a straightening iron, would their hair catch on fire? -Hufflebunny
Hmmm, that's something to try this weekend! Anyone with greasy hair who wants to volunteer?

herbert....where do i begin why are shoes so yummy? and why are all of the stars in the sky shoeless?thathinguywhois
Mmmmmmmmm, shoes. They are so yummy, and I just don't know why. Who cares about the stars when there are SHOES!

whoa that's totally awesome! i got an insane question award and forgot to leave my name ....does this make me a dumb ass? -Jag
Aww, that's too bad Jag! I'll give you a big hug to make it better.

How do you treat sore callouses? McDiablo
I've never had any, so I don't have an answer for you. I'm sad you have them though.

What is up with the weather here? One minute it's sunny and rather warm then the next it's dark and pouring down rain. McDiablo
Isn't it fun?! It makes each day a surprise.

Have you ever got the urg to chop off your dick and feed it to your dog and then stick a hot pocker in your ass afterwards?
No, I don't have a dog. To the rest of it, yes, but I don't think I'll actually try it or anything.

Do you speak English? Kali
Yes, unless everyone has been lying to me about what English is and I'm really speaking/writing in French or Spanish. You people are tricky like that!

Am I a green elephant or is my mirror playing tricks on me again? Kali
Silly mirror! It's playing tricks on you!

What's up with Johnny Poptarts ass? - Mzebonga
You love it as much as I do Mzebonga!

Do you think you could convince DC's mom to make a Sock Monkey with a mullet? or get one in the family to grow one? -Hufflebunny
That's a good idea Hufflebunny! I'll suggest it to our mom when I see her next.

Herbert- Im in need for some advice. Im 14 and im dating a 23 year old, who im in love with. He says he wants to marry me when im legal. But i only get to see him on weekends because he works from 4-midnight and i have school, which sucks!!!! Do you think this is a sick and twisted or what? What should I do?!?!? im so confused... -PsYcHoPaTh
Break up with the sicko and get some help! Makes me sad to hear of things like that. You're grounded until you're 18! You'll give me hugs later and thank me for saving your life.

how many alien space crafts would it take to infultrate this world's defense forces? TELL ME!

my hermit crab escaped how long can it live for with out water nor food?
I have no idea! You should just cover your house with food and bowls of water so that it can live.

wicked blue, trick it through, can i ever be crazy without it being true to th insane domain or my poo?thathinguywhois
What a poet you are! I bet you have pages filled with clever writings. You really should share these with others, maybe even publish them in a book!

someone with a sock fetish would really like you herbert yes? no?thathinguywhois
Oh yes, it's why I love myself so very much! You can come here and love me too, I know you want to.

you have buttons for eyes. How does that work? How can buttons see?-bluemonkeyfeaer
They see quite well! Don't believe me? I'll sew some button eyes on your face and you'll see too!

Why is it that there are no blue sock monkeys? I think it would be cool to fear a sock monkey-bluemonkeyfearer
Oh but there are blue monkeys! Ti Monki, Kayla, Macy, and Jasper are all blue!

Why are males (including me - seeing as I'm male) so obsessed with breasts? ~ Sven the Masseur
You don't have your own. The reason that fat guys still like them, even though they have their own, is because they do not want their own hairy tits, they want nice girl ones. The girl tits a're fun, they're (usually) soft, so why wouldn't you want to touch them? Just make sure you have full permission to touch, their owners can get violent. If I had my own I'd be off playing with them right now!

aww herby ya shoesucking son of a jcp why is the U.S. government not obvious about thier continuing conspiracy to control the world? we all know why don't they just tell us? most people wouldn't believe it anyway and would just go on with thier lives!(especially after watching CNN for and hour)thathinguywhois
You make me laugh! I gave you award for the 'ah herby ya shoesucking son of a jcp'. The rest of it is just gobblygook. I'm a sock monkey, not some sort of well educated cabbage patch kid or anything.

Oct 4 /04
Answered by: Herbert

Do you really think itīs insane to answer stupid questions? Really insane people would never do the mistake to ask them. Stranger
I'm not insane for answering them, oh, well maybe I am. It doesn't matter really, as long as we're all having fun. Well, I'm having fun so that's all that matters.

What if you found out there were several demons that were after your blood, and they know where you live? Fleoa
Oh I'd be very sad. Demons shouldn't want my blood, which is actually stuffing. If they did, then I'd offer them the stuffing out of some pillows.

The sockmonkeys that you say are blue don't appear to be blue to me.... am I color blind????-bluemonkeyfearer
Well the blue on them is quite dark so it is difficult to tell that they are indeed blue. See how easy it is for sneaky blue sock monkeys to trick you?

If I accidently swallowed a ping-pong ball sized atom bomb, what would happen to me during the passing through my body, and it's effects, and what would happen to me when is exits my anus aprroximatly twelve to twenty-four hours later..? Final question, has anybody survived such an event? - Mort.
Oh oh, that's no good Mort! I think that it just might explode while in you, thus saving you the worry of anything else going wrong. I say that you shouldn't eat the bomb, and instead feed it to someone who lives far away from you.

Can she really ask me to ask you something?
Oh yes, she can, and will!

how do you smell since you lack a nose?
I'm not sure but I can tell when things stink. Perhaps I do have a nose and it's just hidden or invisible. That would explain a lot for me.

Mommy found the toy rifle I used to play with all the time when I was little. Should I bring it to school for show and tell? FartMonkey
Sure, why not? I think it'd be cool to see a toy rifle.

What's in chex mix that's so darn addicting? FartMonkey
Send some to me and I'll gladly tell you FartMonkey!

What shall we do to our history teacher? FartMonkey
Have you covered rebellions in your history class FartMonkey? If so, take your teacher hostage and have demands in place for his/her release. Plan on taking up the whole period. Be late for class, then show up in ski masks and bind the teacher. Read a statement to the class explaining what going on. Tying him/her to their chairs is effective, especially if its on wheels.

can i get a coke?
I have no problem with you getting a coke but do you realize how bad it is for you? Perhaps it would be better is you added some rum to it. It's your body, abuse it how ever you choose.

what would u do iff you were the only man or women on earth that was green and everyone else was white
I'd feel pretty special! Maybe I'd get my own tv show and everything so people could stare at me and think my opinion was important!

Why is it that everytime I try and download an album, I can never find the last song I want? Also, why is it that sometimes when you burn it all to disk, there's usually just one song that screws up somehow? (Note: neither of these questions were about Satanic rituals and/or JCP) - Mort.
It's to remind you to go buy the actual album if you really liked the music that much! When JCP comes back you can ask her about the satanic rituals.

are you really her Bert?thathinguywhois
No no, I'm HERBERT. All one word silly.

so what is that orange light in the sky just before night falls?thathinguywhois
In the hopes of giving you an answer, I stayed up all day yesterday starting into the sky until midnight. The only thing I saw that could be close to what you described was a fat kid up a tree with an orange shirt on. He wailed and cried to be helped down, but I told him I was busy.

Why do people get an urge to smudge their own shit on bathroom stall walls? McDiablo
Ew, those people are just sad. There must be something wrong with them to make them do that sort of thing.

Do you like meetings? McDiablo
Oh yes! I go to them, tell them my first name and they all say "Hello Herbert". Then, I can tell them whatever I want and they all love me, but tell me to stop drinking.

My sock monkey, Emerald, has finally realized that she doesn't have a chance with DC (seeing that he's 'on the run' and all). Does she have a chance at monkey romance with you? McDiablo
Everyone has a chance with me! Send her over and I'll happily play with her for hours.

How come on King of the Hill, Hank's voice and Mr. Anderson's voice(I think thats right) from Beavis and Butthead are the exact same? I know that it's the same person, but couldn't they have changed the voice just a little? Monkeeskittles
I agree, they should have changed the voice!

herbert if two socks love each other but they are not a pair should the runaway together?thathinguywhois
They shouldn't have to run away to be happy, their friends and family should accept them.

does it upset you to see people wearing socks, knowing so many of your kind have died for man's feet to have a comfortable lining between foot and shoe?
Socks evolve into sock monkeys, so I don't feel a sense of loss seeing them on people's feet. I like peoples feet and whatever they decide to put on them. Like shoes. Mmmmmmmm, shoes.

Why Knob, but not kneck? -Hufflebunny
I think that you're going crazy!

It is predicted that someone I know will die at the age of 76 in a freak motorcycle accident off the Grand Canyon. Is this true? -bluemonkeyfearer
It could be, but then again maybe that person is planning to do that now just to make it come true.

Is it ever ok to feel extremely horny every time you come on the Insane Domain? (no pun intended). - Mort
I feel horny all the time, but yes, just a bit more when I'm here. I think that's a good thing.

Many literary genius's and famous stories such as Alice in Wonderland were writtin under the influence of drugs such as Opium etc. Many poets were also addicts. I for one do not approve of drug use recreationally whatsoever... what are your opinions on the matter? (Ask JCP too as I'm not sure sock monkey's are familiar with drug use). - Mort.
I'm okay with people using pot, but anything more than that and I'm not really for it. If you HAVE to use something to be creative, then you're not really that creative, at least in this sock monkeys opinion. JCP is fed up from having me harass her all weekend to see her feet, so she's not speaking to me at the moment.

I've felt about to sneeze all day...what am I allergic to all of a sudden? FartMonkey
Air! Oh no!

My history teacher hates me, right? He just seems suspiciously nice so that he can lull me into a false security and then when I least suspect it he'll pounce, right? FartMonkey
You are exactly right. He's actually a howler monkey in disguise, and their type can never be trusted.

Which do you think is worse, being used to get to someone else or just being stepped right over to get to someone else? FartMonkey
Both suck a lot!

What shall our drunken 5 year old genius write a song about next? FartMonkey
Hmmm, a song about macaroni in the bathtub would be good.

Which is funnier, a kid who looks like a chipmunk or a kid who looks like a sheep? FartMonkey
A sheep, but all kids are funny looking to begin with.

What would you do if you cloned yourself and then your clone wanted to have sex with you?
I'd be happy they knew exactly what I liked and we'd have sex for days.

I live in the U.S. but I have come to learn that just about everyone here has some sort of severe emotional problem or is just a plain dumbass. Can I come live with JCP or can I move in with DC wherever he is at?I will become their personal assassin ( if they need one) for room and board.....harbingerofhell
Why don't you want to live with me? Just because I'd touch your feet, isn't it? I'm sure JCP would love a personal assassin, and she'd hire you to kill me.

why the hell do we even bother to be nice to anyone anymore? my girlfriend and friends are always telling me" You're an asshole, you need to be nicer to people." So I figured why not right? I tried to have a civil discussion with someone the other day and they became all defensive and got pretty dickish. So my question is this: Why in the nine levels of hell do people keep telling me I need to be nicer to people when they all act like dickheads when a conversation doesnt go their way?And what do you think? should I continue to be rude and vindictive to everyone?
Not to everyone, just those that are assholes. Some people are actually cool and don't deserve to be treated meanly. I say you move away to where there are more people that are nice.

Why are the back seats of a school bus always bumpier then the ones in front? -Hufflebunny
That's too smart of a question for a sock monkey like me.

why are you so ugly
I'm not, you're just too stupid to see how cute I am.

Could someone suffer from amnesia and deja vu at the same time? 'I've forgotten this before' perhaps? - Fish
Sure, why not! People suffer from all sorts of things, so why not that as well? Everyone needs a hug.

is masterbuating good for boys? is yes then how?
It's good for everyone. Makes you feel good without needing anyone else, and let's you figure out what sort of stuff you do/don't like.

How will canada continue its world domination over all that is cheese? I somehow feel it slipping away, that right under our noses polands pale spotted hands is squeezing our cheese into a sauce and carving an canal directly into there country, Do you too?-Gargle
Oh I can't tell you, they don't tell beings such as myself because I'll mess it all up on them. Cheese is yummy though, and I'm all for that.

Which would decide your saturday afternoon activities? Yoga and Meditation or Car show in the downtown area?
I'd like to do both! Why must I choose?

After I threw all of my shoes down this well after someone said its how your wishes will come true... I waited for over a year barefoot and yet to have won a dancing contest due to my smelly feet... you think he was telling the truth?-garrr
You threw ALL of your shoes away? That's so very wrong! You should have sent them to me! Were they nice?

I also have no love life, friends, family or fufillment in my twindling days, do you believe there is some connection to the nazi in my chair cushion to the worlds dumbing down of lives plentiful oppertunities?
Twindling days? I don't have days like this. Can I get a twin? That might be fun.

On Halloween, do you give out shoes, in hopes of finding another individual who likes shoes just as much as you? or do you keep them for youself and give the bratty kids who come to your door raisins? -Hufflebunny
I keep them to myself and ask to keep the shoes of any kids that come to trick or treat. Raisins are yummy.

Why do families send pictures of themselves on Christmas cards, so they'll end up being displayed on a shelf, and put into a closet for a few years, then when the closet is cleaned out, the reciever of the card will think the picture is cute and give it back to the people who had sent the card in the first place? Is there a point, besides wasting time and money? -hufflebunny
No point at all, so it seems. I say you refuse to accept any xmas cards this year, just to make a point.

*gives a shoe* NOW will you answer the questions? =) -Hufflebunny
Oh yes!!!!

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