Jan 11/04
Answered by: JCP

Do you think pennies will ever become obsolete?
Sure, I mean, all of our money is going to become obsolete and it will become 'credits' on our computers.

ok, i enjoyed your instructions on storing your plastic bag colllection. they weren't very good, though. i should know. i have just over 16,000 (really) plastic bags collected over a 30 year period. can anybody top that? Equal it? wanna buy it? just curious. "davidpea"
How can you say the instructions weren't good if you've been enjoying collecting by following them. If you have too many then you should contact the guy I wrote about and he'll tell you what to do. And no, I don't want to buy it.

im to guilt ridden to present you with a worthy question, dc needs to read this... he...he *sniff*.. needs to read my questions and and.. amusingly answer them..*sniff*.. who do you think you are trying to justify his legacy?- baaawwwwwhhhaaa
This is because I don't have a tail like he does, isn't it?!

I like dc better, hmph! who are you to fill his shoes? grr...creator and master of the insane domain my arse. JCP you know this website layed on dc's shoulders and now that hes temporalily lifted if off its just blowing in the wind... with you jumping up and down trying to catch it. DONT DENY I SAW IT WITH my own eyes. ANyways, here yas go, a question although my concious says not to, it also says im gay.. but hehe ,...i mean theres no way that right. heha...i mean just because i watch gay porn once doesnt mean,,, ummm.. And i was only slightly arowsed when she kissed her.. Do you think im gay?-not thepoloce
I say why limit yourself to gay or straight. Go bi and just be happy when someone decides to actually touch you. As for filling DCs shoes, he took them with him so I'm stuck here answering these questions in my socks. Not even sock monkey socks, just socks. How do you feel NOW? That's right.

Why do guys have nipples?
So they have something to reach up and twist while wearing tank tops.

Do you feel any pressure having to fill in for DC? McDiablo
Well you can see that so far I've been greeted with open arms. You didn't poke me with the stick and kick me like the others did, thanks McDiablo.

I'm housesitting and have had to shovel the driveway *curses the snow* They have a really big driveway and the snow is really heavy at the moment. Should I just rent a snowplow or continue to wreck my shoulder? McDiablo
I say STEAL a snowplow. Why should you pay to shovel snow that's not even yours? You could also bundle up Emerald and some friends to build elaborate forts out there too...

Do you want this Japanese fan I found? McDiablo
Sure, but only if it doesn't have flowers or the color pink on it.

r u a guy if so, r u hot?
No I'm not a guy.

DC's gone! <sobs> What am I supposed to do now? <assumes fetal position, sobs some more> ~CasualFatality
There there, it will be ok. Now stop crying like a baby and I know you can pull yourself together enough to ask some insane questions.

I don't know your e-mail andi don't do not feel like popping around your site looking for it so i will tell you here. You posted the same questionaire results twice. The " what was the last thing you yelled at a stranger" results was there 2 times, once for it self and once over the last one. Please fix this. Many thanks... Oh yeah.. uhh how many times do I have to ask toast for cheese untill it gives it to me ? -me
Well our emails are not on the site. Too much spam gets in that way, so we've set up forms for these things. This form allows you to send us website problems. I did fix the problem though! You have to ask at least ten times, as after that it's just rude to not do what you're asking.

it appears that my small pomeranian dog is in fact satan himself!, i keep waking up finding it talking to the giant killer monkeys that hang from the ceiling of my home they are plotting to eat every turd in every toilet and build a turd city of insannity and rule the earth how do i tell my fiance of the dogs evil plans?
I hate to tell you this but your fiance is in fact part of the evil plan. Your fiance is in fact a dog. The only way you can escape now is to take the magic spoon and dig yourself a tunnel to China, where you will then have to sculpt a YOU KNOW WHAT out of butter.

should we believe in god?
No, it just doesn't work out well.

What would be the worst way to die and why? =Queen
Slowly and painfully for years where you pray for death every day but can't kill yourself and no one will do it for you.

<Punches you in the face.>

Hey, JCP. You're hot. Can I have a hug ?
No, you can't. I can smell you from here and that's not a good thing.

Why can't you eat only one potato chipp ? Beleive me, i've attempted this more than once and I just ended up thrashing about on the floor untill I feed myself 5-30 more. Are these crazy people adding addictive drugs to their reccipes ? I checked the ingredients, but niccatine wasn't listed... maybe they're hiding something. Oh almighty one, answer my question with your endless knowledge.
The question you should be asking yourself is "Why doesn't ONE chip fill me up?". They fill a bag with chips, knowing that one will never quench your hunger, therefore forcing you to eat more. These chips should be thicker. You need to start writing these companies and demanding better chips.

Jan 14/04
Answered by: JCP

Do you think D.C has secretly gone to a sock monkey comune where they have wild sex, take heaps of drugs and skateboard all day? Cos' if he has I want in!
Who told you?! Just keep it quiet, I promised him I wouldn't tell anyone. Whatever you do, do NOT tell Empriss Nikon OR Mzebonga.

Why are aliens green? -Tiz
What happens is your eyes evolved from fish eyes way back when life first started, so we see just a section of the light spectrum. The real colors of the alien is beyond your eyes capabilities and therefore you see the aliens as green.

Does this thing work at all? - Mzebonga
<"Work at all? All? All?" echoes and fades.> <Eerie silence fills the room.>

Why does everyone keep testing this? Do they not understand how it works?
Well you know how it is with some people. One day it's "Hey look at me filling out this form!" and the next it's "I have feet on the bottom of my legs."

what food come up easier
Soup. At least from my unwilling experience.

can i become bullimic
Why the hell would you want to? If you're going to puke up your food on purpose after eating, then your head is pretty fucked up and you need some help.

What is that tape doing on the ceiling? Me
We were all hoping you wouldn't notice. Sigh. It's actually a hidden camera that isn't so hidden anymore. Just stick it somewhere cool and we'll let you see too.

The other day a teacher told me that white is a mergence of all of the colours. I think he's full of crap, I mean, how can you get a lighter colour from combining darker ones ... unless there is a chemical reaction or something, but that would depend on what you were mixing. Is he right somehow? If not, why would he lie?
Well here is what I found. "White light is not the light of a single color, or frequency. Instead, it is made up of many color frequencies." Here is the rest of the info. Now go apologize to your teacher for being a doubting dumbass.

Jcp are you a squirrel? do the monkeys all want to move away? what country is the pope from?
No I'm not a squirrel actually. Yes they do, but I won't let them. The pope is from this clay jar at the bottom of the Indian Ocean.

KINDERGARDEN- ok, KINDER means like little kids, offspring etc. GARDEN is a large lot where you can go pick things to throw at people, put in mailboxes, eat,etc. SO why kindergarden?! Is this some conspiracy put on by the government sending out subliminal messages to creepy old people inviting them to come pick small children from our school system?! As much as I find small childen annoying the government MUST BE STOPPED! I really dont want to find any little kid in my mailbox! -boing!boing!
Just steer clear of those evil kindergardens. You have no idea what kind of EVIL lies there. One time one of the little brats jumped into my car and I had to kick it's sorry little ass. Besides that nonsense, it's kindergarten. Not kindergarden. That'd just be silly.

Don't get me wrong..I like you just as much as I like DC. My question today won't be insane, but I'm going to ask it anyway. Before DC left, I told him I wasn't going to bathe until he got back. What do you think of my decision? -CasualFatality
I think that you should continue to wait. If he comes back to find you all washed up, he'll be very upset. Plus, it would make you a liar. Nobody likes a liar.

Why is Kermit the frog going out with a pig? Is that like inter-racial dating in the muppet world?
Well the thing is, they're puppets. The thing with puppets is, they can do whatever or whomever the hell they want.

Do you think I'll get into trouble for using this at work? - Mzebonga
Not quite yet, but when you do, you'll have to admit that you did it for the attention.

are ufo's real
If they are unidentified, flying and an object, the yes. For a great many stupid people out there, UFO's are mostly birds, planes and clouds.

Why do people put gel in their hair? It's insane....its like there asking for the sun to crisp it off! -craphead
I have no idea. My hair goes past my waist and I don't use any hair nonsense like that.

blah blah blah you idiots have way too much time on your hands!
You shouldn't be on this website. It's not intended for those under the age (and IQ) of 5.

what are some symptoms of being insane?
It's different for everyone, but basically if you wake up and find yourself married to a basket of oranges, then it's time to seek help.

Jan 18 /04
Answered by: JCP

Why is it that everything today, of involved things, is either going in, or coming out of my ass?
I would assume it has a lot to do with your webcam porn job. If you would just stop the "Anal Tuesdays" for awhile then you'll find that things are no longer going in your ass. Give your ass a break for a few weeks, and you'll feel much better.

I found a nice looking letter opener with one of those Ukrainian painted eggs at the end of it. Should I play with it or just let it sit on the desk and look pretty? McDiablo
Play with it. I mean, it's an egg, and if you can't play with it then why bothering owning it at all? When you're done, be sure to bury it in the backyard so no one steals it from you.

What was the last movie you saw and did you enjoy it? McDiablo
I'm trying to think, what WAS the last movie I saw? I think it was Amelie, I watched that with Schizoid last weekend. It was a good movie, strange and funny.

If a gerbil could breathe fire, would it be a drabil or a gergon? -Josuke
Drabil. Gergon just sounds too close to those stupid little pickles that I can't spell the name of.

I'm making t-shirts. Could you give me some ideas for some things you'd like to see on a t-shirt? -Kyoritsu
How about Sock Monkey Porn Star? Oh wait, that's already been done. They're wicked as pajama shirts, and you know you want one. So buy one from me and I'll help you design yours.

Can I go out with asparagus in a dumpster and watch movies on brick walls? thatthinguywhois
Sure. Have a great time. I'm not sure why you needed my persmission, but hey, who am I to stand in the way of your happiness?

I'm starting to smell pretty rank, but I shall not bathe! Muwahahahaha!!! Oh, can you tell me what happened at that party I want to last night? I woke up this morning with a rat tattooed on the bottom of my foot, and I don't remember what happened! Help me JCP! Whay happened last night?? -CasualFatality
On the bottom of your foot, that's interesting. The only time I've heard of that happening is when a pack of wild rabid rats attacked some guy and infested his body for awhile via the entrance of his asshole. After leaving a few 'surprises' in there, they exited, tattooed him with their teeth (and some ink they carry around for the purposes of this story) and left him for dead. If you have an aching ass, and seem to be shitting out rat shit, then that's what happened to you too. I think perhaps you should bathe now. DC would understand.

if 2+6=8 and 2+0+4=6 what equals 7? -boing!boing!
Throughout my adding career, I've found that 3+4 consistently adds up to 7.

Is it worth apologising to Ver or should I just make rude gestures at him and accompany that with a selection of funny faces? If so, could you please provide a mail address and allow 4-5 weeks for peeling of said faces and delivery - Mzebonga
I say you do both. Here is the address.

Does Tanki hate us when he says "OH GOD NO NOT YOU TWO AGAIN! GREAT! NOW MY DAY REALLY IS RUINED!" or are the words "I secretly love you" just too much for his small mind to choke out? Also, how should we get him to admit that Tanki Jr. really is his illegitimate 14-foot-tall palm tree son? -ferretchick
Well if I were Tanki I'd be ticked off if someone said that stuff to me. Then again, what kind of name is Tanki? I don't think I could ever be called that and not respond violently to it. This whole thing is disturbing really.

So, now DC's gone what plans have you made? Did you have a party before he left? Did you have a party after he left? Did you have a party at all? - Mzebonga
I've planned to turn his section into a game room. Oh yes, had a great big party and we made sure to take pics to prove how none of us missed him.

Are you gay?

Did you ever find jesus.. you know he is behind the couch.---Mistofflies
I thought I had found him once but it turned out to be some coffee that spilt a few days ago. It was ok, it didn't stain. Gave me quite a scare though.

hey jcp, if you are a girl do you like dc? and if you dont, will you like me? - JAG
Yes I am a girl, and no, I hate him. I guess I could like you, but I don't feel like it. For now I'll put you on the waiting list.

we are all doomed...the cats are coming!!!!! the cats are coming!!!! and they've somehow constructed some kind of gigantic metal machine with hundred of buttons and a swinging door at the bottom... It is systematically snatching up humans as we speak... Thousands of cats are following this thing and they're all chanting in some weird tones. Should I call the National Guard or should I grab some hillbillies and rifles and be a hero????........harbinger
Why would do you that? You march out there and pledge your allegiance to the cats. Anything else you do is just wrong and punishable by the cats.

do u feel uncomforatable when seen in the light of godlyness?no man really, u are my god! I WILL WORSHIP!i do...
I don't need to be worshipped, just obeyed. You can start by sending me money, then free pizza, and a bunch of DVDs from a list I'll send you. When you're done that, tell me and I'll give you more instructions.

What would you do for a Klondike bar?
I'd would be willing to say "Thanks." if given one for free.

i want to pull a prank on my annoying freind. got any ideas?
Many ideas, but I'm not willing to share them at the moment. The last time I did that, there was this whole ordeal with lawyers, courts and community service.

gee! i've been gone too long. what happened to DC? is he really gone? He got a new job? this is insane!!!! i cannot believe it. what's gonna happen now? leigh
Well now it's going to me, and a few others answering your questions. That's right, a new era of insane questions!

I gotta admit, I miss D.C alot. But your doing a good job, despite what some idiots have to say...................and if your one of those idiots, then you should be greatful that we have someone to ask questions to!! Anyways my question: Do you think that it is weird that the world is round, but it always feels flat? Think about it!... if you get a basketball and put a toy on the bottom of it, it will fall right off..........how come we don't fall of the earth? I asked my science teacher and he said it was "gravity".............I thought gravity was to do with "what goes up must come down" it doesn't explain how something round can appear flat!.........also if "what goes up must come down" then logically the earth must come down...........afterall the earth IS floating in space. My theory is that, space is never ending and the earth is always falling and the reason we see the sun and the moon everyday is because NASA just put them there to look good, and give people skin cancer oh...and the moon is just there so they can pretend to walk on it! RealmO
Thanks, I'm glad to have some support. Gravity doesn't explain how it feels flat, it has to do with scale. If you put a tiny ant on the basketball, to it the 'ground' is flat. We're so tiny compared to the surface of the earth, that we only see a small section of it, and it appears to be flat. Unless you're at the edge of water where you can see enough of the horizon, where you can see the slight curve of the earth, or when you notice that you see the sails of a ship coming over the horizon before the see the bottom of it. As for your theory, it sounds great.

With DC gone, what would happen to TheInsaneDomain.com if you just dropped dead? Have you made the necessary legal arrangements? - Mzebonga
Actually I have a .txt document on my desktop with detailed instructions. No seriously, I do. It's called "Instructions upon my untimely death.txt"

Jan 22 /04
Answered by: JCP

What the hell is the point in writing this report?!!! A full biography on some wrinkly old lady who did basically nothing in her life and won a bunch of awards for standing around watching a bunch of people do work. Maybe if I do that I'll win the order of Canada. Everyone else was assigned interesting people...at least they did something...inventor of the snomobile, discoverer of radium, inventor of dynamite....and im stuck woth some old lady who spent her life staring at stars because shes too lazy to do anything else! OH! I KNOW! THE PINK ELEPHANTS HAVE BRAINWASHED MY TEACHER HAVENT THEY?! DC HAS to get back here so he can help me figure this out...theres conspiracy at work here...gotta help me...do the best JCP -boing!boing!
Are you saying that staring at stars does nothing? Space and stars rock, and you should learn this. Besides, I'm sure there are TONS of websites out there to help you get this done fast. The only way to escape humans is by going out there. As for the pink elephants, it's not them you have to fear but the evil BLUE elephants who pretend that everything is just fine and as soon as you let down your gaurd they eat you.

How much sawdust does a horse have to eat to shit out a 2x4 6 feet in length? stunnellowS
Sawdust? I don't think they should be eating that. I would think you would have to feed them a LOT to make them shit that much, most likely apples or fruits or something. I'm not a horse person so I don't know.

My mom is really excited about these cordless phones we bought. I was joking around and saying that she could be in the bathroom "doing her business" and talk on the phone at the same time. Do you think she took me seriously and will actually go through with that? McDiablo
I think she's already done that twice! She might have even phoned herself and left herself a message while doing that just to see if she could hear any of her own shitting sounds. I'll bet you don't want to think about that though.

Why did the doors to the venue open almost 45 minutes late last night? McDiablo
To torture you. It's what they do to make you extra grateful when you ARE let in.

My friends and I need to do something incredibly random. Why? We just do. What do you suggest we do? McDiablo
Paper mache yourselves a dog and drag it around like you're 'walking' it. If anyone asks, say it's for a school project. Be sure to tie it up outside when you go in stores that say "No dogs allowed."

Hiya there, JCP. You guys kick ass. Maybe this is a little out of your leage, but I'm seriously in love with this punk rocker guy Benji, and I want to ask you: what is the best way to catch a famous person's attention without seeming too much like one of those psychotic fans? Please tell me! xoxo Benji's Angel
Out of my league? How could that be possible when you're asking about some silly obession with a musician? There is nothing you can do to get his attention without seeming like a psychotic fan because you ARE one. I mean, you're claiming to be in love with some guy you've never met. You can't love someone that you haven't met, you're infactuated. Don't worry, you'll grow out of it, unless you decide to stalk him and break into his house while he's asleep to take pictures of him in his bed. If you really want to catch his attention then you can become a groupie but he won't care beyond fucking you.

what do cats nightmare about?
A world without catnip and head rubs.

what would you do if you woke up and found your fridge full of pink elephants? -boing!boing!
I'd scream in terror and demand they leave. I hate the color pink.

Ok,ok, My question is: If insanity is a Mental iIlness, {HEHEHEH} is is a virus or a moose? Or perhaps it can be traced back to an oddly colured monkey? SKYofStLuke
It's a moose, but not one like you've ever seen. Yes it can be tracked back to an oddly colored monkey named Seth actually. He's on another planet now, but one day he will return.

Who ever thought of driving on the wrong side of the road like in the UK or some of Europe. It just doen't make logistical sense.--PsychiatricSuperstar
Actually, it is in North America where they drive on the wrong side of the road. So your thinking is illogical by nature and now your head will explode.

My buddies mom is real hot. I mean smokin hot. She'd made offers but I've always played like she's joking and brushed it off. I know she's for real. To hit it, or not to hit it. That is the question. PsychiatricSuperstar
Ask your friend if that'd be cool first, unless you don't care about your friend. In that case, they aren't your friend and as long as you use protection, and you're of legal age, go for it.

maybe the sunlight smells and we're just used to it and never notice?
That could very well be true. Don't tell too many people about it though, they'll think you're crazy and chop your nose off. People respond that way when they are forced to think about things.

Can you turn into a raccoon and sleep in my apartment to scare away night crawling envelopes? by the way i am Webz scourge of stratford and known by schizoid Thathinguywhois
I can't turn into a racoon, but I will scare away the night crawling envelopes for you. Have you tried putting insufficient postage on your door to ward them away? Greetings to you Webz from Stratford, known by Schizoid.

have u ever dreamed of a buffterfly then went crazy and it turns out ur the butterfly dreaming that ur a man...? my nick name is Giytuen
No I haven't dreamt that actually. I did dream about some other stuff, but not that. Last night I dreamt that I was in a lot of pain and couldn't move around so people had to carry me. That wasn't fun.

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