How to have fun at the supermarket.
By DC & JCP
For those of you that haven't managed to figure it out on their own.

See how many carts you can smash yours into before you are removed.

When someone turns around to get something, steal their cart. (if there is a purse or something in the cart, don't steal it unless you want to be charged with stealing or something and if some brat is in there then don't do this either)

while those little sprays are going, reach in to grab something,  have the spray hit your arm, then scream and pretend that it is harsh chemicals eating into your flesh. keep screaming "it burns! it burns!"

when parents aren't watching their kids, put stuff in their cart and then watch as the kid gets in shit for doing it.

talk to the fruit.  ask it where it's from, how it got here, what it's childhood has been like and how it's feeling.

feel other peoples fruit to see how ripe it is.

ask someone about the effectiveness of a brand of adult diapers.  when they look confused or say they don't know, apologize and say you thought they were wearing some.  

read the ingredients of everything out loud.

caress the buns

in the eggs section, start asking people what they are and where they come from. look offended when they tell you and say "you EAT this?"

sample the coffee beans

ask people why they are buying what they're buying and take notes

shake all the cereal boxes

in the deli, ask for a variety of different meats, but only one dollars worth of each.

smile the whole time and giggle when touching the products

bring a stuffed animal or cabbage patch kid and put it in the kids seat. talk to it as if it were a real kid, and give it shit for throwing things into the cart.

get dressed up in a halloween costume (when it's NOT halloween)

pick someone that doesn't look like they could/would kill you  and follow them around, picking up exactly what they pick up.

every time there is an announcement, ask the person closest to you what was said.

pick up a product and begin asking people what they think a fair price for it would be.

try selling your groceries outside the entrance to the supermarket for outrageous prices.

make faces at kids when their parents aren't looking

cry if you can't find something you want

skip with your little basket of groceries and sing about going to grandmothers house

pinch any children you see when you're out of the view of cameras and parents

point out all the cameras to anyone who walks by you and tell them that they're being watched RIGHT NOW

go to the deli counter and demand to see some MEAT and you want it sliced RIGHT...  don't be specific about the type of meat... just say MEAT

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