Mike Patton
A FAKE interview By DC -
Feb, 2002

At the time this was written, DC didn't think that Patton would actually reply to an interview.
Later on, real questions were sent to him and he kindly answered.

DC: today I’m interviewing Mike Patton from Tomahawk.  Hi Mike.  how are you today?

<silence because Mike Patton isn’t there to respond.  as if theinsanedomain could get an interview with him>

DC: your new album is really good and I’ve enjoyed it a lot. have you been getting a lot of positive feedback from it so far?

<silence>

DC: cool, so have you been enjoying the tour so far and can I have a ride with you to the next show?

<silence>

DC: ha ha… yea well it was worth a shot.  so, while you’re on the road, do you find that you throw things out the window instead of disposing of it in a more polite manner?

<silence>

DC: really? did you kill it?

<silence>

DC: sounds painful.  Do you find that wearing a hairnet on stage keeps the sweat from going into your eyes and blinding you?

<silence>

DC: i see.  well, your ipecac website could do with some more work.  have you even been there?

<silence>

DC: i never thought of it that way... i didn't even know monkeys could create websites but good for them then...  so do you ever plan on letting your fans remix a song or two like Garbage did by putting samples online?

<silence>

DC: hmmm... well now i just want to hurt you until you cry... well anyways you know what I’m going to ask you next… it has to be done when interviewing you... the color blue has been appearing on tv more then ever, does this concern you in any way and does it make you want to sing songs about it?

<silence>

DC: i look forward to it.  i know you have to go so thanks for spending some time with me and you don’t have to stop rubbing my tail.  oh wait, that’s my own hand.

<sounds of tail being rubbed>

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