there are monkeys at the door but you're out of coffee...
do you answer the door or do you pretend you're not home?

i would answer the door only is i was stoned- psycho_clover

A little of both; i would open the door but iwould hide under the sheets where they can't find me. Then when they finaly realize i'm not there they will take a nap. During this short amount of time i have, I get in my hot rod and drive to the nearest starbucks. I purchase their favorite warmed caffinated beverage (which is Bana mint choco creame extra supper caffinated espresso deluxe... man those bastards have creepy names for coffe)and bring it to them before they wake up. -NNY

Pretend I'm not home?? What kind of sick freak would do that?? Well.. I guess I am a sick freak, but not that kind. I would have to let them in and simply explain that I am out of coffee. I would let them torture me, or whatever they wish to do to me to express their dissapointment. If I am in good enough shape, I would then make them comfortable while I ran out to steal some coffee from the neighor.- FartMonkey

I would pretend I wasn't home but I won't do that for fear that they might rip off my roof and start re-aranging my furniture.- Syko Morgana

im out for coffee remember? so im not home to answer the door.- *kelly*

i'll answer the door and throw peanuts at them and say "that's what you get for coming round when i don't have coffee! take that" and eventually they'd collect the peanuts and roast them for me and i'd have peanut-coffee. and all's well that ends well.- SiNiSTaR

No, I invite them in for a cup of tea. I have pyramid bags.- Mzebonga

Pretend I am not home... you know how bad monkies can get when you don't have any coffee around.. ya got to watch out for those mood swings!!- ~JeEpY

I answer the door of course. If the monkeys decide to eat my brains becuase of my incopmetence at not having enough coffee in the house, I'd burn some coffee scented insense to lure them into the bathroom. When they are all in there I'd lock the door and burn the house down.- Nelson

In disgrace, I impale myself with my sword to protect my family's honor.- Enfante Terrible

All depends what kind of mood it looks like there in. If it looks like they are in a good mood and will be understanding I will answer the door. If they look pissed off I'll call the SWAT team.- LilKitn

well...id let my cat open it, while i climbed out the back window and hopped the nearest plane for one of those south american places that have coffee beans and then id get lots of beans and come home , and give the monkeys the freshly brewed coffee i made from the beans and id rub their tails some, then when they left, id give my cat the $5 million i said id give him if he entertained for a while, as well as a map to the white house.- monkeeskittles

Answer the door they will get what they're given- Sally

i pretend im not home cause i dont like answering the door and there is and will not be such thing as monkies going to my door.- shadowchan

I answer the door, and offer the monkeys a bed to have wild monkey sex in, and while they are doing that, i go and get coffee.- Jay

I eat the monkeys like little donuts dipped in coffee..- gryfin

I would turn on my anti Monkey personnel device that sends out pulsating low fi frequencies that only monkeys could hear. With this I would either send them running for their lives, or use it against them to make them bring me that coffee I'm out of. Of course after that I would have to install flagpoles around the 4 corner points of my house so that I could put this anti Monkey device up there so they wouldn't return with more monkeys to avenge me- Schizoid

usually i take the coffe maker with me wherever i go just so i know i have one....i might not have the stuff to make it i just have the maker...ooh the monkeys forgot about them well they need to make an appointment if i dont answer most likely im going towards my goal on making that 4 way porno.- sampersondude

i answer the door and feed them cats milk. i give them gingerbread cookies and biuld fires for them so they can be warm.- irish psycho

i pretend i'm not home but then i turn music on really loudly and put highly cafienated pop out for my cats to drink and then they go insane and scare poeple away(not that i like people anyway)- some bitch

First, I look out the peep hole thing to make SURE its monkeys and not just that girl scout kid again. THEN, when i see that it IS the monkeys, I open the door. They come in and hang out, we smoke some pot...drink some vodka, then the doorbell rings. Its that damn girl scout again. they arent thirsty for coffee anymore considering we just drank a shit load of vodka. so they chase after her cause they now have the munchies from all that mari-ju-ana.- ~Kira~

i answer the door. hoping to get a hug from my mom, but i see nothing but monkies. i greet them instead, feeling a sigh of relief come on. the monkeys come in, and start doing a porno. dammit, i think. why do i have to be the extra????- ieatchildren

Firts vee bring out Ze shot gun und den vee qvuestion ze dog.- Kyoritsu

That is torturous...TORTUROUS I TELL YOU!!! WHY MUST MONKEYS BE AT THE DOOR WHEN I AM OUT OF COFFEE!!!! YOU DAMN WELL KNEW I NEEDED COFFEE AND YOU SEND MONKEYS!!!! BASTARDS!!!!- Anthrax.Boy

answer the door and serve them a nice frosty glass of inflamed molars- b-no

I hire a hit man to kill my neighbour and bring me his coffee cause he's a rich bastard that like to flaunt his money by importing really fancy coffee... Then I invite the monkeys in.- Sparrow

I go outside dressed in a monkey suit and I begin to fling along with them..- SG*

i answer the door and beg for more coffee- moo poo chic

Umm...i pretend i'm not home i guess, even tho monkey's are cool!- Douche

I'd open the door and start screaming "Numa in israeliana vb astia!!! Numa in israeliana vb astia!!!"- Omuletzu

Hell mother fucker, I pretend I'm not home. After what happened last time...They shoved broccoli up my cats ass, bashed my face in with a sledge hammer(I still can't see out of my left eye)and stole my Candy Land game. Just between you in me...I think the monkies are the ones who are trying to take over the world.- Pancake

answer the door- summer

i slowly move through the living floor and place the sheet of acid tabs back inside that hardcover book, handcuff myself to a railing so i don't do anything irrational, and then suffer a good numbe rof hours of withdrawal and hallucination.- special_sauce

First, I would re-secure the safety latches on my automated soup condenser, and then proceed to place my lawn gnomes strategically amongst the furniture. I would then have the butler let them in as I waited in an arm chair in the den. Depending on how they reacted to the lack of coffee, I would either have my lawn gnomes buy me some time while I made my escape, or I would have a nice game of checkers with the monkeys and maybe even some Jenga.- Josuke

I'd quickly yell for my construction crew (which I keep handy in the basement) to construct a warp device that only connects to the garden hose so I could fill my cat up with alot of water just to the point before it explodes, and then go bury him so he can communicate with the foggy.- Deferall

pretend i'm not home- Ripcurl

give them a fucking banana of course- Ninja

ill answer the door and ask "what the hell do you have to do with my coffee. you seem hyper as is you dont need anymore caffiene you'll jump into hyperspeed. why are you at my door anyway. what are you porchmonkeys". plus if you pretend your not home they'll raid your house.- sputnac

i hide in my closet assuming that i will soon have to resort to violence in order to keep the monkeys from world domination by giving them decaff coffee!!- smoothies

Well... if im out to coffee... im not home... so I wouldnt be possible for me to answer the door... but if i was home I would soooo answer the door for monkeys...- NSuxbum

i throw teabags at the monkeys till they go away- Lithanial

i answer the door holding granulated chocolate gateux. aha i will fool them yet!! Mwahahahahaha!!- elmo

i look through the keyhole, then i see all those monkeys, i ll fear em, but then, i get a tablet with coffee go to the window, and suprise them. maybe they wont kill me.- ionas

you drink hot chocolate- pope doug

hmm...tricky. i think i would assume i am hallucinating from lack of coffee, and ask ther monkeys in anyway. after all, either theyre not real and things really cant get any worse, or they are and i'll have something to take my mind off the lack of coffee situation.- frazicus

I tell them that just because they have come every day this week doesn't mean that they're getting their duck back.- Fish

Answer the door.- trev

Invite the monkeys in...love monkeys! Literally. For hours. Then grind them up and pour hot water over the remain. Monkey coffee...mmmmmmm.- amen

First of all, I know why I'm out of coffee. It's all my dad's fault. He's been chugging coffee down like there's no tomorrow ever since my Granny gave him that 'Cup at a Time' coffee maker for Christmas. So, I'll let the monkeys in to vent their frustrations over the fact that there IS no coffee on my dad. Maybe their poo throwing will knock some sense into him...or at least his sense of smell. - McDiablo

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