why do you have to saw everything in this house?

It wasn't me... it was the elf, honest. He comes at night, and saws everything, and blames it on me. Please, you must believe me, he said he's going to kill me, help, help me!- Fido Dido

I must beat the termites at their own game. I'll show them whose boss. - MeowMix

Because i am trying to give it that art-sy look. You know, how everything looks all jagged and rough? i'm into that...- Feckur

why not? am I not entitled to saw everything in this house? is there some kinda rule for that? sawing things is extremely funa dn I seriously suggest you saw down something in the near future- Big Philly Dawg

Because I live in the past and I cannot see it because seeing is the present, so I have to saw it because my life is so retrospective. I'm gone to the shops to bought some milk.- Mzebonga

if u saw off pieces of all the items in ur house then u can keep them in a box at the bottom of ur garden so that if ur house burns down u can clone them all bk 2 life and live happily ever after!- Umbungo

because it's all wood and i have this shiny new saw- Anastasia

it wasn't me it wasn't me it wasn't me it wasn't me. goddamn CIA.. they know everything don't they?- shoooooogaaaaahhh

because if I saw everything in half, none of them will be able to get back together again and perpetrate their evil conspiracy against me . . . Hey, it worked with Humpty Dumpty, he never manage to hard-boil the king's head and eat his brains in revenge for his brother Eggbert did he?- Fish

It's not my fault! I swear! SAnimal told me to! Blame him! He paid me! He offered me sex! He threatned me! It wasn't my idea! Pleeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaasssssssss believe me!- Waxter

Because I'm an addict. There, I admit it. MY NAME IS FERGUS O'DIMBAL AND I AM AN ADDICT.- Fergus O'dimbal

i paid good money for that saw and damn it i'm going to use it...that's what this country was built on! people sawing their stuff- SiNiSTaR

because i want to make tooth picks for the entire world curing toothpickalemia the diseas- Miss Roger's Sweatere in which people are not eating enough wood.

Do you really want to question the motives of a madman who is holding a chain saw?

well, when i walk in i automatically see everything, so thats why i saw everything in this house.

because i like the sound of metal tearing through stuff...wood, ceramics, flesh, plastic, bone, plaster, tiles, cartiledge.- frazicus

well i was watching this tv show and guess who came on?? Richard Simmons!!! and he said "Frank, frank listen to me, now whatever you do you must saw everything in this house!" And i said " why richard why should i do that? " and he said " becasue not only will you lose 20 pounds but you will also go to my heaven after you die, Hell" That is why I saw.- I am frank

Deflation. - bunky

because it has teeth- Ninja

no good answer...- AnthraxBoy

I don't what good would half of everything be?- Sally

As I have told you several times, you tireless, old hornet, if I don't get started now, by the time Jesus comes back on his yacht, our furniture is never going to fit aboard that thing. It says in the bible that, "Ye, all ye lambs of Jethro, Luke and Jebadiah, shall make all comforts of thine domicile so as to conform as such chambers are of the honeycomb. Lo, and it was so, amen."- Enfante Terrible

because its there and im holding a saw- lolly

because i said so- pshhhh

what the hell else am i supposed to do with it?- fishtopher

Another philosophical view: What is the point of HAVING the saw if you do not saw anything? I purchased it simply because it was a good deal, and I said, "Hey, this is a good deal. Who knows, I may need a saw some day." Currently I had no specific use for it, but just in case. They I realized that I had not been using it and it was probably getting lonely and suicidal because it thought that it had been forgotten and was therefore useless, so I had to prove it useful and show it that life was worth living. It now owes its twisted little saw-life to me.- FartMonkey

because I'm Obsessive Compulsive and have mis-placed my medication.- Cirrus

Eat house. Not saw.- Flabba the Slut

well you gave me a saw..what so you expect me to do with it?also, why i chose this house..i dunno ...just randomaly chosen..plus its orange-pink-whitish-yellow sea coppor and i hate that colour with a passion.- DamnMyBeauTy

Because I have an uncontrollable desire to find out whether I belong in the wood or not- Fridge-Ass

Because you're brother was keeping me up all night, so I thought if I sawed off his head, he'd shut up...damn, that kid snores loud.- McDiablo

it wont shut-up!!it needs to be punished!- makAeYa

i'm sawrry (oh god that was a bad pun) but i just halve to (there i go again). P.S. Could DC be mailed out to Australia (i like to be under the sea) to help me get rid of my weird-ass obsession with really bad puns? PPPPPLLLLLLEEEEEAAAAASSSSEEEEE??????- foetish

because you're too fucking lazy to saw everything for me - hollow

why not? after i saw something, someone always trys to sit on it or stand on it or something and they always get hurt and it is funny to watch so why stop.....- butthead

because the gremlins are eating my feet- BillyGoatJoe

because, i'm magick mushroom!- insanity crises 420

Because everything deserves to die. Especially the kitchen impliments which keep looking at the TV wierd , it feels threatened so out comes my friend MR SAW!!!!- poopy jo

Because the donkey told me to.- Beatrix

I have to practice for when I meet you!- Omuletzu

what? this house? it's not mine? DAMN... sorry.- the_lady

Because it's not good unless there is pudding the fridge.- Phoebe

because everything looks better chopped in half. cups are much more useful split in half. who wants a whole tv? everyone has a whole tv. be different. cut urs in half. be brave. duh. and playing half a saxophone is much more fun that a whole one. and the cat? lets not talk about the cat...- wee jen

because i want eveything to have jagged ends. so that i can rub up against the wall when i needed some sexual relieving. - Bearded

its a habbit.. can i saw the stuff ur house everything in mine is all cut up- stupid bitch

well i got a couple a sporks i could sharpen on rocks from the taco ball down the block and i got all my adult teeth.- meagnolia

it turns me in the jagged metal running over everything - deter

b-cuz i like everything in half, it makes me feel tons better.- sheniqua

Ok, you know what? that is none of your business, but because you have to know everything, it's becaue i'm bored. That's right BORED. This relationship is no more fun, you've taken the spice out of it, and i get it back by sawing stuff. Get more interesting and, maybe i'll give it up.. maybe.. you'll have to be convincing.- Mandy

Because my dad was a blind carpenter and he tought me everything I know.- LubisKo

because if you saw it he will come!- bobs penis tassle holder

Don't you mean "see", not "saw"? Didn't your English teacher inform you of the wonders of parallelism????- Richard

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